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1534203's blog: "Movie Quotes"

created on 01/19/2009  |  http://fubar.com/movie-quotes/b272575

Movie Quotes 3

Dogma (1999) Jay: I feel like I'm Han Solo, and you're Chewie, and she's Ben Kenobi, and we're in that fucked-up bar. Rufus: You know what the dead do with most of their time? They watch the living. Especially in the shower. Jay: I can't wait to die. Loki: I love fucking with the clergy. [To shocked passenger, after throwing Bartleby off the train] Silent Bob: No ticket! Jay: If you know so much, tell me something about myself. Rufus: You masturbate more than anyone else on the planet. Jay: Shit, everyone knows that. Tell me something else. Rufus: When you do it, you're thinking about guys. [Silent Bob starts to look freaked out.] Jay: [to Bob] Dude, not ALL the time! Metatron: Anyone who isn't dead or from another plane of existence would do well to cover their ears right about now. Metatron: Wax on, wax off. Bethany: What's he like? God? Metatron: Lonely. But funny. He's got a great sense of humor. Metatron: However, if you should decide to stop being selfish and accept your responsibility, you won't be alone. You'll have support. Bethany: What, more angels? Metatron: Prophets. Although they don't quite get it yet. You'll know them right away: one speaks, the other listens. The one who speaks -- and he will, at great lengths, whether you want him to or not -- will make mention of himself as a prophet. The other one won't say anything, but he'll be helpful just the same. Bethany: Then - I don't mean to sound ungrateful - but what are you doing hanging around? Jay: We're here to pick up chicks. Bethany: Excuse me? Jay: We figure an abortion clinic is a good place to meet loose women. Why else would they be there unless they like to fuck? Jay: See, all these movies take place in a town called Shermer, in Illinois. And there's all this fine bush running around, and we could kick all the dude's asses because they're all whiney pussies. Except Judd Nelson - he was harsh. But best of all, there was no one selling weed. So I says to Silent Bob "Man, we could live phat if we were the blunt-connection in Shermer, Illinois!" So we collected some cash we were owed, and caught a bus. But when we got here, you know what we found out? There is no Shermer in Illinois. What kind of shit is that?! Fucking movies are bullshit!

Movie Quotes 2

Boondock Saints, The (1999) Doc: Why don't you make like a tree, and get the fuck outta here? Rocco: Shut your fat ass Rayvie! I can't buy a pack of smokes without running into nine guys you fucked! Paul Smecker: Okay Duffy, have any theories to go with that tie? Conner MacManus: Jesus! He brought a six-shooter! Murphy MacManus: There were nine of them, you retard! What were you going to do with the last three, laugh them to death? Funny man? Murphy MacManus: You and your fucking rope. Monsignor: We must always fear the wicked. But there is another kind of evil that we must fear the most, and that is the indifference of good men. Conner MacManus: I do believe the monsignor's finally got the point. Murphy MacManus: Aye. Doc: You know what they say: People in glass houses sink ships! Rocco: I got to buy you a proverb book or something, because this mix 'n' match shit's got to go. Doc: What? Conner MacManus: Well, a penny saved is worth two in the bush, right? Murphy MacManus: And don't cross the road if you can't get out of the kitchen. [A Russian gangster comes into the bar] Murphy MacManus: So you're Chekov, huh? Well, this here's McCoy. Find a Spock, we got us an away team. Paul Smecker: Brilliant! So now we got a Huge Guy theory and a Serial Crusher theory. [After Smecker proves the Boston detectives wrong] Paul Smecker: We'll start the ass-kissing with you. Paul Smecker: That's all we need: some sensational story making these boys out to be superheroes triumphing over evil. Il Duce: And no man shall shed blood, but by man shall his blood be shed. Yakavetta: The 90's are killing me. I shouldn't have done that. You're not supposed to tell a guy you're gonna kill him no more. Taking all the fun out of the job. Paul Smecker: You know, you Irish cops are perking up. That's two sound theories in one day, neither of which deal with abnormally sized men. Kind of makes me feel like Riverdancing. [After finding a suitcase full of cash with the dead mobsters] Murphy MacManus: The hits just keep on coming. I love our new job. Rocco: They can suck my pathetic little dick, and I'll dip my balls in marinara sauce so those fat bastards can get a taste of home while they're at it! Rocco: I killed your cat! I thought that it would bring closure to our relationship! [After Rocco shoots three men in a coffee shop] Murphy MacManus: Kind of liberating, isn't it? Rocco: You know, it is a bit. Paul Smecker: Greenly, the day I want the Boston police to do my thinking for me is the day I will have a fucking tag on my toe. Yakavetta: He's happy now, just killing us one by one. And worse, he's good at it. Rocco: This guy takes out a whole family -- wife, kids -- like he's ordering fucking pizza. Paul Smecker: So you're telling me it was one guy with six guns, and he was a senior frigging citizen? Murphy MacManus: There are many forms of evil. We urge you lesser forms of filth not to push the boundaries into true corruption, into our domain. Murphy MacManus: Do not kill. Do not rape. Do not steal. These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace. Conner MacManus: How far are we going to take this? Il Duce: The question is not how far. The question is, do you possess the constitution, the depth of faith, to go as far as is needed? Conner MacManus: It's the real deal, Roc. Evil men, dead men. [After Rocco fondles an unconscious woman's breast] Conner MacManus: What the fuck are you doing? Rocco: I'll tip her! Murphy MacManus: We're sorta like 7-11. We're not always doin' business, but we're always open. Conner MacManus: That was nicely put. Yakavetta: The 90's are killing me. I shouldn't have done that. You're not supposed to tell a guy you're gonna kill him no more. I got to tiptoe through the tulips with these assholes. Taking all the fun out of the job. Il Duce: Never shall innocent blood be shed, yet the blood of the wicked shall flow like a river. The Three shall spread their blackened wings and be the vengeful striking hammer of God. [After Rocco gets his finger shot off] Rocco: Feels like it's still there. Conner MacManus: Yeah, well it's not. Paul Smecker: Television is the explanation for this. You see this in bad television. Little assault guys creeping through the vents, coming in through the ceiling--that James Bond shit never happens in real life, professionals don't do that!

Movie Quotes

Bridget Jones: I choose Vodka. And Chaka Khan. Bridget Jones: Wait a minute... nice boys don't kiss like that. Mark Darcy: Oh, yes, they fucking do. __________________________________________________ Vincent: We should have shotguns for this Jules: Whoa... whoa... whoa... stop right there. Eatin' a bitch out, and givin' a bitch a foot massage ain't even the same fuckin' thing. Vincent: Not the same thing, the same ballpark. Jules: It ain't no ballpark either. Look maybe your method of massage differs from mine, but touchin' his lady's feet, and stickin' your tongue in her holyiest of holies, ain't the same ballpark, ain't the same league, ain't even the same fuckin' sport. Foot massages don't mean shit. Vincent: Have you ever given a foot massage? Jules: Don't be tellin' me about foot massages - I'm the foot fuckin' master. Vincent: Given a lot of 'em? Jules: Shit yeah. I got my technique down man, I don't tickle or nothin'. Vincent: Have you ever given a guy a foot massage? Jules: Fuck you. Vincent: How many? Jules: Fuck you. Vincent: Would you give me a foot massage? I'm kinda tired. Jules: Man, you best back off, I'm gittin' pissed.
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