the Cat's blog: "Michigan Mistress??"

WINTER BLONDE As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!" Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker rolls down the window. Again, she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!" When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window, and after she lowers it, he says... "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in IOWA I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"

The following ad was in The Atlanta Journal: SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I’m a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping, and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. Rub me the right way and watch me respond. I’ll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Kiss me and I’m yours. Call xxx-xxxx and ask for Daisy. Over 15,000 men found themselves talking to the local Humane Society about an 8-week-old Labrador Retriever.

Change you can believe in!! Welfare is back!! You have to love the Democratic party… Now tell me how the “Stimulus” bill, that restores WELFARE and ENCOURAGES states to increase welfare rolls helps the economy?? Let’s encourage MORE people to get on welfare and depend on the government and now we have more voting Democrats!! Great… This economy is going to surely recover now…

I always say real life is funny... You hear about the Muslim that started a tv station to show how real nice the Muslim people are, to counter act all the bad news stories? He beheaded his wife yesterday... http://www.buffalonews.com/494/story/578644.html

Obama Thong I meet a young lass online and one of the many items we discussed was the fact during the election a company called CafePress.com was selling Obama Thongs... Well I ordered a medium thong and have it sitting here next to my computer still in the original package... So if you are in the Ann Arbor area want a very cool Obama Thong -- email me... We can work out the delivery aspect later...

Two Woodpeckers.......... A Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about which place had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The Mexican woodpecker was amazed. The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Mexican woodpecker to peck a tree in Canada that was absolutely 'impeckable' (a term frequently used by woodpeckers ). The Mexican woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge. The two flew to Canada where the Mexican woodpecker successfully pecked the so-called 'impeckable' tree almost without breaking a sweat. Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused. How is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able to peck the Mexican tree, and the Mexican woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian tree, yet neither was able to peck the tree in their own country? After much woodpecker pondering, they both came to the same conclusion: Apparently, your pecker gets harder when you're away from home.

Maria had just married, and being a traditional Italian she was still a virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was very nervous. Her mother reassured her; 'Don't worry, Maria, Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you. Meanwhile, I'll be making pasta.' So, up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, 'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest.' 'Don't worry, Maria,' says the mother, 'all good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you.' So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother. 'Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs!' 'Don't worry! All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man Go upstairs and he'll take good care of you.' So, up she went again. When she got there, Tony took off his socks and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs. 'Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!' Her Mama said, 'Stay here and stir the pasta.'

GrandPa's Letter I Guess you heard that 68% of the youth vote went to Obama. My granddaughter called this morning to tell me she was one of them. I replied with this e-mail: Dear Susan, The election of Obama comes down to this. Your grandmother and I, your mother, and other productive, wage-earning tax payers will have their taxes increased and that means less income left over. Less income means we will have to cut back on basic purchases, gifts and handouts. That includes firing the Hispanic lady who cleans our house twice a month. She just lost her ob. We can't afford her anymore. What is the economic effect of Obama's election on you personally? Over the years, your grandmother and I have given you thousands of dollars in food, housing, cash, clothing, gifts, etc. By your vote, you have chosen another family over ours for help. So in the future, if you need assistance with your rent, money for gas, tires for your car, someone to bring you lunch, etc. ... call 1-800-white house. That's the telephone number for the Office of the President of the United States. I'm sure Mr. Obama will be happy to send a check from his personal or business accounts, as we have, or leave cash in an envelope taped to his front door for you, as we have. It's like this. Those who vote for the President of the United States should consider what the impact of an election will be on the nation as a whole and not just be concerned with what they can get for themselves (welfare, stimulus checks, etc.). What Obama voters don't seem to realize is that the government's money comes from taxes collected from tax paying families. Raising taxes on productive people means they will have less money to spend on their families. Congratulations on your choice. For future reference, you might attempt to add up all you've received from us, your mom, Mike's parents and others and compare it to what you expect to get over the next four years from Mr. Obama. To congratulate Mr. Obama and to make sure you're on the list for handouts, write to: The White House 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. NW Washington, DC 20500 Love you Susan, but call the number listed above when you need help. GrandPa Remember: The government cannot give to anyone anything that it does not first take from someone else.

A 10-year-old girl was walking down the street when a big man on a black motorcycle pulls up beside her and says, "Hey little girl, do you want to go for a ride?" "NO!" says the little girl as she keeps on walking. The motorcyclist pulls up beside her again and says, "Hey kid, I will give you $10 if you hop on the back." "NO!" said the little girl and proceeded down the street a little quicker. The motorcyclist pulls up to the little girl again and says, "Okay kid, I will give you $20 and a BIG bag of candy if you hop on the back of my bike for a ride." At this point the little girl turns to him and screams angrily, "Look Dad, YOU bought a Honda instead of a Harley so YOU ride it!"

As men age, we start seeing more and more of the medical world and its employees. Nowadays the medical profession seems to have more and more women as our Physicians and Therapists, etc., and in this case a new Urologist for me. My family Doctor just recently referred me to a "just out of medical school" female urologist. I saw her yesterday, and she's absolutely drop-dead gorgeous... as well as unbelievably sexy. She told me that I must stop masturbating. I asked her why, and she said, "Because I'm trying to examine you......"