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Mandy's blog: "Men"

created on 06/30/2007  |  http://fubar.com/men/b97209
1. Whatever you do, don't just show up at their house...they run around in their underwear just like we do. 2. Don't cheat on them. It may seem foolproof, but girls tell each other everything about everything. Trust me, they will find out and you will be mud. 3. Beware of every single male relative and all guy friends. Any of them would kick your ass at the drop of a hat, and a lot of them wouldn't even wait for the damn hat. 4. Never miss an opportunity to tell them they're beautiful. 5. Don't refuse to kiss in front of your friends. If they laugh at you, it's because they're jealous. 6. If they slap you hard, you deserved it. 7. Don't be afraid to touch them if you want to. If they're going out with you in the first place, it's because they like being in your arms. 8. If you don't sleep with them, do not tell your friends that you did. If you DO sleep with them, do not tell your friends that you did. 9. You can be dirty minded in private, really...most of them are not offended by it... 10. Not all of them eat like birds, a lot of them can eat like whales. 11. Most of them don't mind paying half of everything, but they do discuss these things with their friends. Realize that if you make your girlfriend pay half all the time, everyone will know about it and your friends will know you're a pussy.. 12. Every girl should eventually get three things from her boyfriend- a stuffed animal, one of his sweatshirts, and a really pretty ring. Even if it's not a serious relationship. 13. Make sure she gets home safely as often as you can. If you're dropping her off, walk her to the door. If you aren't dropping her off, call to be sure she's home safely. 14. If a guy is bothering her, it is your right to beat the shit out of him. 15. If you're talking to a female friend of yours, pull your girlfriend closer. 16. Never, ever slap her, even if it's just in a joking way. Even if she swats you first, and says, "Oh, you're so dumb" or something, never make any gestures back. 17. Go to a chick flick once in a while. She doesn't care whether you enjoy it or not, it just matters that you went. 18. You're dead meat if you can't get along with their pets, parents, and best friends. Be prince charming to their friends, Mr. Polite to their parents, and make sure to be nice to their animals. 19. Don't flirt with their moms...that's just freaky. 20. Don't be freaked out by PMS. It's not gross, and it really does make them feel like shit, so be understanding. 21. If you don't like the way they drive, you do it. 22. If you're officially dating, and you're introducing her to your friends, you'd better damn well introduce her as your girlfriend. 23. Don't stress where you go for every date. They really only want to be with you. 24. If they complain that something hurts, rub it for them without being asked. 25. Girls are fragile. Even if you're play fighting/wrestling, be very gentle. 26. Memorize their damn birthdays. You forget her birthday and you're basically screwed for life. 27. Don't marinade in the cologne, but smell nice. 28. Don't give her something stupid for Valentine's day. It doesn't have to be expensive, but it has to be meaningful. 29. If you think the relationship isn't going to last, don't wait to find out. It will only hurt you more if you draw it out. 30. After you've been dating for a while, realize that they really have started to trust you. When you have a girlfriend who truly trusts you, you have a lot more responsibility, privilege and control than you would think. Be careful with it, most guys would kill for that kind of power, and it can be lost in a nanosecond.
1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. 2. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. 3. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. 4. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. 5. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. 6. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". 7. A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. 8. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. 9. Don't stay because you think "it will get better". 10. You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. 11. The only person you can control in a relationship is YOU. 12. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. 13. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? 14. Always have your own set of friends separate from his. 15. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. 16. If something bothers you, speak up. 17. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. 18. You cannot change a man's behavior. 19. Change comes from within. 20. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job. 21. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. 22. Never let a man define who you are. 23. Never borrow someone else's man. 24. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. 25. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. 26. All men are NOT dogs. 27. You should not be the one doing all the bending . . . compromise is a two-way street. 28. You need time to heal between relationships . . . there is nothing cute about baggage . . . 29. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. 30. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you . . . a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals . . . look for someone complementary . . . not supplementary. 31. Dating is fun . . . even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr Right. 32. Make him miss you sometimes . . . when a man always knows where you are, and you're always readily available to him, he takes you for granted. 33. Never move into his mother's house. 34. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. 35. Keep him in your radar, but get to know others.
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