SueBear's blog: "me"

I sent Fred a package today. And let me tell you it is not cheap to send a 5 pound package to Japan. it cost $115. It should be there Monday. I put a surprise in there too. But I cant say what it is because he reads these. But he will love it. I miss him soo much right now. I am going crazy sitting here with these four kids. Thankfully I have my best friend right next door. She took the kids for an hour tonight so I could unwind. The good side to freds new job is the benifits and money. They are so awsome. He works for Toyota. He gets to play with humanoid robots and gets paid for it. How cool is that? Well I think I am going to bed now...Good night all!

I spent the weekend with my sister and mom. It was nice to have family around. My sissy slept in my bed with me. It was also nice to have someone in the bed. I slept better than I have all week. Katie went to her dads. So I just had the other three kids. In case you dont know I have four kids. Katie who is 9, Courtney is 7, Harley is 3, and Hannah is 1. What a handful. So my sister and I just hung around the house. We went to Sams club and got one of there chocolate bunt cakes. You so have to get one! While we were there she devloped some pics from a ghost hunt she went on. It was at Mansfield prison. A few movies were filmed there. Then tonight my mom came over for a few. She had me show her how to work a computer. That was fun. This Friday the kids are out of school. So mom and I are going to Wright Pat Airforce Museum. I cant wait. It gives me something to look forward to. Well goodnight all.

You once where here but now are gone. I just wish my car could go that far. Having the time of your life, while I sit here. Yes the jealousy and fear are there. Off in another world learning new things meeting new people, and learning new ways. I am happy for you to say the least. But what about me. I can't eat. It is hard to sleep. The tears keep falling, and there is no one here to hold me. I try to be happy but all I am is sad. My true love is not near me and that is too bad. I know you feel the same. But come November 4th, it will all change. So please forgive me if I seem mad it is not your fault I miss you so bad.

I so think that it is a full moon tonight! I am sitting on here bored to death. Most of the guys who wanna chat just want to cam or talk about sex. I just want to chat. I am only on here for FRIENDS. My day has been ok so far. I am missing husband way too much. I am thinking of shutting down the computer for a few days. This thing depress me even more. Good bye for now.

Ok so I did get the tape. Now I must use it...If you have ever wondered what kids gone wild looks like just come to my house. Nanny 9-1-1 I need you!!!!!!!!!!

This has seem to be therapy for me anyway. So hubby is still in Japan. The kids have gone wild. I am only one person damnit. Stuck here with four kids. God help me. Somebody please rescue me. Ok enough of that. My sister is coming over this weekend to stay with me. That is going to be nice to have someone here. I think in order to have a good weekend I will need a shit load of duck tape. Well kudos for now. I will write more later when I get back from the store. PS...I am just kidding about the duct tape...I swear!

I quit posting because I believe my husband is not reading them. That is the purpose of my blogs anyway.

Well today is just like any other day. I tried to keep busy. There is only so much one can do. I had to go to Cincinnati to get Hannah's birth certificate. Then I had to run to the store. Later this evening I went to football practice. I think Harley is really missing his dad. You can see it in his face. The rest of them miss him too. Don't get me wrong. It seems as if he always has the hardest time with Fred being gone. Every night when I put the kids to bed I tell them that I love them and thier daddy does too. Along with hugs and kisses. As for me, each day is harder than the last. My soul mate is gone. I can not function with him gone. A half of me is missing. Have you ever heard someone say that when they met someone they knew at that instant they were going to marry them? Well I use to never believe that until I met Fred. One day talking to him I just knew. Since we were introduced we were inseperable. Except of course when his jobs would take him out of town. We met in late June of 2002 and were married in December of 2002. This December will be four years. It seems like forever. In a good way! I believe our marriage could handle anything. When we married he had a house. One of those nice ones on the gulf course. We had everything. Within a matter of two months we lost it all. We had to move to my mothers garage. Now look at us!! I Love and Miss you soooo much babby!!! If you read this leave a comment. I will tell you guys more of our story if you like. Just leave a comment and I will tell the story of what happened after living with mom. Goodnight all.

Today I kept myself real busy. I got the girls off to school. Then I got the babies ready and ran a few errans. Then I decided that I did not want to go home. We went to Mc Donalds and I got a coffee and let the babies play for an hour. When we left there it was 11:30. I knew that I had to get Courtney at 1, so I did not want to go home. We went to GoodWill to walk around for a few. We then headed to the Post Office and over to Courtney's school. Then it was off again to the doctors. After the doctors I was ready to go home. At that time it was 2:30. I then had to help the girls with homework. We got done with that around 5pm. I decided I was ready to go again. We went to my best friends sons football practice. And don't you know we did not want to sit there. So we walked the track for about an hour. We did about 5 laps or so. At 8pm it was time to go home. I bathed the babies and did alittle more school work with the kids. Now I am writting on here. You know tonight I think I will have no problem going to bed. I have to run some more tomorrow. Well good night all. Thanks for reading about my day!

I did not get to talk to Fred this morning. We woke up and had breakfast. Then the two oldest went to church. I stayed home with the babies and cleaned. When the girls got home, we then went to watch Jake play football.(He is my neighbors kid.) They won. 18 to 0 against Mairemont. We were there for two games. Now we are home and will just be relaxing for the rest of the night. Hopefully I will get to talk to Fred soon.