ASIANHOTTIE DNO's blog: "me just being me"

thoughts of you and me linger in the air i know your there i can feel you i hear you calling out to me i try to reach for you but ur not here. you know all i wanna do is be with you i know you feel that way too my heart is bleeding and i feel crushed cuz i can't feel ur sweet loving touch i count the hours till you wake cuz i don't know how much loneliness i can take i am ur wife and you are my life the beat of my heart and the air that i breathe you are my everything my world, my life my body, my soul i am reaching for you will u take my hand to the deepest end?? will yiu stay and drown with me?? you are my gaurdian angel and for that i am so grateful. there's no question i love you forever baby with all that i am i give my self to you for now and forever comments plz

i know you don't feel good today i know your love is miles and miles away i know u are bleeding inside longing and yearning to be with him you would do anything to make it happen crying and weaping all the time not able to breathe it feels so cold and lonely like theres nothing left i am sorry you feel this way i know you are broken i know you are shattered i know you are torn to pieces and it feels like no one cares once again i am sorry you feel this way listen well and you will hear him calling out close ur eyes and you will see him look inside and you will feel the love he has that will stand the test of time and be true that's one thing for certain he loves you. **just had to get it out and this is the result hope you guys can understand that i was talking to my heart** comments welcome

THIS PAST SUNDAY STARTED OUT AS A NORMAL DAY I LEFT MY HOUSE WITH MY BEST FRIEND MARINA AND WE DID MORNING ERRANDS BEFORE WE PICKED UP HER OLDEST DAUGHTER. WE HAD A GREAT TIME AS ALWAYS. BUT THAT DAY WAS SPECIAL CUZ IT WAS MY ROOMMATES BIRTHDAY. WE PLANNED A SURPRISE PARTY AND EVERYTHIN. I ONLY HAD LIKE 2 AND A HALF HOURS OF SLEEP BUT I WASN'T DRIVING SO IT WAS ALL COOLCUZ I COULD SLEEP. (I NEVER DRIVE LOL) SO WE PICKED UP HER DAUGHTER AND CONTINUED ON WITH OUR THINGS WE HAD TO DO. BY THE TIME WE GOT TO THE PARTY IT WAS ALMOST GONNA START AND WE HAD A GREAT TIME WITH LOTS OF FOOD AND EVEN HULA (TRADITIONAL HAWAIIAN DANCE) IT WAS REALLY NICE AND MY ROOMMATE WAS SO SHOCKED I'LL NEVER FORGET THE LOOK ON HIS FACE LOL...(U KINDA HAD TO BE THERE) WHO KNEW THAT ON OUR WAY BACK LIVES WOULD CHANGE FOREVER?? I WAS SUPPOSE TO LEAVE THE PARTY WITH MY ROOMMATE BUT I DECIDED TO GO WITH MARINA CUZ I WANTED TO KEEP HER COMPANY FOR THE RIDE TO DROP OFF HER DAUGHTER (WHO DANCED AT THE PARTY) SO WE DROP OFF HER DAUGHTER AT MARINA'S SISTERS HOUSE.AND WHAT HAPPEND NEXT CHANGED MY LIFE FOREVER..... WE BACKED UP IN THE DRIVE WAY THEN HALFWAY STICKING OUT IN THE ROAD AS WE WERE MAKING THE TURN TO LEAVE A BLUE TRUCK WAS COMING STRAIGHT FOR US. THEY HIT US HARD ON THE PASSENGER SIDE (WHERE I WAS SITTING) AND THE PASSENGER BACK DOOR RIGHT AT THE MOMENT I LOOKED OUT THE WINDOW AND CHECKED IF MARINA WAS OK THANK GOODNESS WE ARE FINE WITH MINOR INJURIES BUT ALSO AT THAT MOMENT I SAW THE FACES OF ALL THE PEOPLE I LOVE AND CARE ABOUT MY 2 YEAR OLD BABY MY LOVE JAMES ECT (YOU GUYS GET THE POINT) I AM SO THANKFUL TO BE ALIVE FOR MY LIFE FOR MY LOVE, FOR MY DAUGHTER AND FOR ALL OF MY FRIENDS. IF THERE IS ONE THING I HAVE LEARNED FROM ALL OF THIS IT IS NEVER TAKE YOUR LIFE FOR GRANTED VCUZ IT COULD BE TAKEN AWAY IN ONE SINGLE INSTANT. NOW IT'S TIME FOR ME TO HEAL MENTALLY FROM ALL THIS. I GET NIGHTMARES AND EVERYTHING, WE FOUND OUT THAT THE DRIVER THAT HIT US WAS HIGH. I NEED TO HEAL MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY FROM ALL THIS. I HARDLY SLEEP NOW CUZ EVERYTIME I CLOSE MY EYES I SEE THE TRUCK HITTING US. IT IS SCARY TO KNOW THAT I CAME SO CLOSE TO LOSING MY LIFE. SAPPHIRE ALMOST LOST HER MOTHER JAMES ALMOST LOST HIS FUTURE WIFE. AND MARINA'S FAMILY WOULD HAVE BEEN DEVASTATED IF ANYTHING HAPPEND TO TO HER, THERE IS DEFINATELY A GOD AND HE WAS WATCHING OUT FOR US THAT DAY I LOVE YOU ALL . COMMENTS PLZ

OKAY SO I'VE BEEN UP ALL NIGHT LONG TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF THINGS I'VE BEEN THRU RECENTLYPERSONALLY WITH THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN MOM AND ME. THOUGH IT IS SAD I KNOW NOW THAT I JUST NEED TO LET HER GO AND MOVE ON. I AM LEARNING THAT LETTING GO IS MUCH MORE DIFFICULT WHEN I KNOW DEEP DOWN IT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO TO KEEP MY SANITY. BUT THE HARD THING FOR ME IS THAT SHE IS MY MOM. I KNOW THAT LATELY I'VE BEEN POSTING REALLY DEEP EMOTIONALLY STRONG BLOGS I'M SORRY FOR THAT BUT PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT THESE ARE MY TRUE FEELINGS AND IT HELPS ME TO LET THEM GO AND FREE MY HEART IF I WRITE.I'M A WRITER IT'S JUST WHAT I DO. SO WITH THAT BEING SAID LET ME CONTINUE. TONIGHT I DID MY NORMAL ROUTINE BY CALLING JAMES AT 6AM HIS TIME AND MIDNIGHT HERE, THE ONLY THING DIFFERENT WAS THAT FOR THE FIRST HALK OF OUR CONVO I JUST CRIED AND CRIED CUZ OF ALL THIS. HE WAS GREAT AND JUST STAYED ON THE PHONE WHILE I CRIED, HE REASSURED ME IT WAS OK TO CRY AND THAT THINGS WILL BE OK, I KNEW I LOVED HIM BEFORE BUT TONIGHT I REALLY FELL IN LOVE WITH HIME EVEN MORE, IT'S FUNNY HOW SILENCE CAN BRING 2 PEOPLE CLOSER TOGETHER, ANYWAY I WAS AND AM TRYING TO HEAL MYSELF THRU WHAT I LIKE TO CALL MUSIC THERAPY. SND HAVE BEEN BLOGGING SPECIAL SONGS ALONG THE WAY. WHILE DOING SO I CAME ACROSS THIS ONE SONG CALLED LOVE WILL ALWAYS WIN PART OF IT GOES **NO WAY OVER IT, NO WAY AROUND IT IF WE WANT IT WE HAVE TO GO THROUGH IT* THAT IS SO TRUE AND IT ALSO REMINDED ME THAT THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON. SO EVEN THOUGH THIS HURTS ME LIKE HELL IT IS ALSO TEAVHING ME TO BE A STRONGER WOMAN AND A BETTER MOTHER TO MY CHILD. AND I'M SURE MOM IS LEARNING A LESSON FROM THIS ASWELL. TY TO ALL OF YOU FOR UR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND SUPPORT TTHRU SUCH A ROUGH TIME. I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH. U ALL KNOW WHO YOU ARE COMMENT PLZ

U TOLD ME SO MANY TIMES IT WASN'T OKAY TO CRY SO MUCH SO THAT I WANTED TO DIE U TREAT ME MEAN U TREAT ME CRUEL WHY IS ALL I ASK OF U THERE IS NOTHING LEFT INSIDE CUZ U KNOW MY SOUL HAS DIED YOU PUT ME DOWN HOPING I'LL STAY ALL I WANT TO DO IS RUN AWAY THESE TEARS I SHED ARE REAL SO WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LET ME DEAL I DIDN'T MEAN TO CRY BUT ALL I WANNA DO IS DIE THIS IS HOW YOU MAKE ME FEEL MY HEART BROKEN SPIRIT GONE LOOK AT THE DAMAGE U HAVE DONE U TELL PEOPLE I MAKE U PROUD BUT REALLY U ARE IN THE CLOUDS U SCARRED ME FOR LIFE KNOWING SOMEDAY I WOULD BE SOMEONES WIFE BUT YOU DON'T CARE WHY WOULD YOU DARE YOU KEEP HURTING ME NOT HEARING MY PLEA I CRIED TEARS FOR THE FIST TIME CUZ YOU ARE ON MY MIND WISH I COULD SAY I LOVE YOU WISH I COULD FORGIVE YOU DAMMIT MOM I JUST WISH YOU CARED ENUFF TO HEAR ME I WANT TO END IT WITH YOU AND SAY I LOVE YOU BUT I JUST CAN'T I'M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING IT'S OK CUZ IT'S ALL ON ME I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER BUT THESE TEARS I CRIED FOR THE FIRST TIME ARE RAW AND REAL AND IN THE END THEY ARE CAUSED BY U THESE TEARS ARE REALONE LAST THING NOW U HAVE TO DEAL COMMENTS PLZ

I AM SUPPOSE TO BE YOUR DAUGHTER I'M SUPPOSE TO BE UR PRIDE YOUR JOY SO WHY DO U HURT ME I'LL NEVER KNOW YOU SAID U LOVED ME IS IT TRUE?? IF YOU LOVE ME WHY DO I FEEL SO BLUE?? I AM SUPPOSE TO BE YOUR DAUGHTER I'M SUPPOSE TO BE UR PRIDE UR JOY SO WHY DO YOU HURT ME I'LL NEVER KNOW IT'S NOT UR FAULT IT'S ALL ON ME SO WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE AND JUST LET ME BE. SOMEONE LOVES ME THIS I KNOW BUT I AM BROKEN I AM NOT WHOLE I AM SUPPODSE TO BE YOUR DAUGHTER I AM SUPPOSE TO BE UR PRIDE UR JOY SO WHY DO YOU HURT ME I'LL NEVER KNOW SO MUCH ANGER SO MUCH PAIN IS WHAT I FEEL SO MUCH SORROW IT FEELS LIKE IT WILL RAIN I AM USUALLY SO STONG SO WHERE OH WHERE DID I GO WRONG I AM SUPOOSE TO BE UR DAUGHTER 1 AM SUPPOSE TO BE UR PRIDE UR JOY SO WHY DO U HURT ME THIS I'LL NEVER EVER KNOW I SEARCH FOR A WAY OUT BUT ALL I HAVE IS SELF DOUBT WHY U HURT ME SO I WILL NEVER KNOW DO U FEEL MY HURT DO YOU FEEL MY PAIN?? YOU ARE SELFISH AND THINK IT'S ALL IN VAIN I STILL LOVE YOU THOUGH I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'VE ONLY CAUSED ME PAIN ALL MY LIFE WHAT DID I DO?? WHY DOU HURT ME SO THIS IS THE ONE THING I GUESS I'LL NEVER KNOW

SHE IZ REALLY A SWEETHEARTGO ADD HER AND RATE AND FAN TOO PLZ TY ~?ß?????_??g???~

@ fubar

Hello There Nice Person Did Anyone Ever Tell You, Just How Special You Are The Lig ht that You Emit Might even Light a Star Did Anyone Ever Tell You How Important You Make Others Feel Somebody out here is Smiling About Love that is so Real Did Anyone Ever Tell You that Many Times When They were Sad Your E-mail made Them Smile a bit In Fact It made Them Glad For the Time You Spend Sending Things And Sharing whatever You Find There are No Words to Thank You But Somebody, Thinks You're Fine Did Anyone Ever Tell You Just How Much They Like You Well, My Dearest Friend Today I am Telling You I believe that without a friend you are missing out on a lot!!! Have a nice day, and I'm glad we are friends!!!

Theres been a few time durning my days that if when things go great you always have a great feeling that something best will happen to you. But then something gets in your way and it all turns to dust. Then you just give up hope! I always have times when I just want to give up and just not care at all. Like noone cares, noone gives a hell about what you think. Thats why I dont bother with some people. I never depend on them. Because to me right now... If I worry about the people who is just going to bring me down then I wont get no where ahead to make things happen. So I dont bother with anyone who dont understand of what im trying to do for my self to make things happen. Well anyway... Even tho I feel like giving up! And even tho I feel worried about whats going to happen for me as I get older? Still yet I try to push my self to move on and get ahead to where I want to be. I just wish tho I have never messed up in the pass. Then I could of get somewhere along time ago. But its never too late for me. Im still young and I trust my self that I can get to the things I dream of having. Now I love it here in hawaii and Hawaii is just wonderful, and full of life and beauty. But to tell you something. I really just wanna leave. I really just wanna get alway from everything that is just making me unhappy. I know you may say... im running alway from my prob. And its not like that or im I trying to sound it like that. Its just to calm down for awhile and get things started in my living. Then when I have things in order. I should fly back to hawaii and fine my own pad. Doing that would be a nice start. And seeing the world is another as well. One of my first place out of the U.S. would be Paris! I love to see whats like over there. Or disney land would be another great site lol. I wanna meet mickey mouse haha =P And later when things are good for me and I saw everything and done everything I need it to do. I want to one day get married and have a family +_+

Her dad was a drunk Her mom was an addict Her parents kept her Locked in an attic Her only friend was a little toy bear It was old and worn out And had patches of hair She always talked to it When no one's around She lays there and hugs it Not a peep of sound Until her parents unlock the door Some more and more pain She'll have to endure A bruise on her leg A scar on her face Why would she be In such a horrible place? But she grabs her bear And softly cries she loves her parents But they want her to die she sits in the corner Quiet but thinking, "Please God, why is my life always sinking? " Such a bad life For a sad little kid She'd get beaten and beaten For anything she did Then one night Her mom came home high And the poor child was beaten As hours went by Then her mom suddenly Grabbed for a blade It was sharp and pointy One that she made She thrusted the blade Right in her chest, "Youeserve to die You worthless piece of s&*t! The mom walked out Leaving the girl slowly dyeing She grabbed her bear And again started crying Police showed up At the small little house Then quickly barged in Everything quiet as a mouse One officer slowly Opened a door To find the little girl Lying dead on the floor It must have been bad To go through so much harm But at least she died With her best friend in her arms A child dies every day from child abuse. And if you have an ounce of pity in you for Auroura (the little girl), and you hate child abuse with a passion, you will repost this and help out those abused children, and let them know that someone cares for them. It doesn't take that long only about 10 seconds so please just do it. She was only 5 and never loved