Four Years on fubar · see all
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. now here are the rules from the male side
These are the rules:
-Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. don't try to change that.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
-Subtle hints do not work!
-Strong hints do not work!
-Obvious hints do not work!
-JUST SAY IT!!
1. "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. in fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think your fat, you probably are. don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted teo ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done... not both... If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. All men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default sellings:
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutly anything you wear is fine, Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discusssuch topics:
1. You Have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping
You never really know how short life is until you walk
through life as a service member. We do what we are told, no matter how much we despise it. Leaving loved ones behind, so that we can defend the rights of perfect strangers and not expecting a thank you for what we do. You can look in our eyes and see the pain and the horror that we carry in our hearts, and yet we still dont expect a thank you. our lives mean nothing to some but the men and women who are with us through all the pain and hurt that we go through. We never want anyone to feel sorry for us but we never expect a thank you. we watch our buddies die and still we never ask for any thing. The lives of our buddies mean more to us then our own lives. And we would give our own lives so that a fellow service member would make it home to tell our story. They give us these meaningless medals to show how brave we are but to us we are not brave but just doing what we need to, to make it home to our families.the people who we care so much about, and for the rest of you we still dont ask for a thanks. so if you read this im not asking for anything but just know that if my life should end i do it for you, so that you will never have to experience what my life is dedicated to. And that you can live your life as if nothing will harm you because myself and the rest of our service members will be making sure that you will always have that freedom.
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