iamgoingtodome's blog: "LOVE ME"

MY LIFE AS I SEE IT NOW! FOR A LONG  TIME  I WAS   JUST GOING THEW  EACH DAY AND HOPING IT  WAS NOT A  DREAM! NOW I SEE WHAT WAS PASSING ME BY! FOR I LONG TIME I HAD NOE HOPE AND NO  ONE TO  GIDE ME THEW  WHAT I WAS GOING  THEW! ALL A LONG ALL I NEED TO DO WAS THINK ABOUT   WHAT  GOD  WAS TEACHING ME  AND  PRAY  AND  WHEN I DID   BOTH OF THESE THINGS AT THE    SAME TIME I  LIFE  CHANG  SO FAST I  HAD TO BEATH IN AND  OUT TO CATCH MY BREATH ! NOW I SEE WHAT  WAS  GOING  ON ! AT   THE  TIME  EVERY THING  WAS  GOING  ON  I WAS ONLY LOOKING  AT  IT ON ONE  SIDE  AND  NOT LOOKING  AT THE   BIG   PICTURE! NOW I SEE CLER AND LOUD! THINGS HAPPEN TO  PEOPLE   AND  WE   JUST HAVE TO HAG ON  AND  SEE WHAT GOD  WILL DO TO HELP US  OUT OF    WHAT  WE  ARE  GOING THEW! I   STILL  HAVE A LONG   WAY TO  GO   AND I KNOW I AM A   WORK IN PROGRESS! JUST  BELEAVE THAT!

MY HART IS BROKEN INTO A THOUSAND PEACES! NOT SURE  WHAT I AM GOING TO DO! I  CARE  HOME  FROM CORT AND FOUND MY DUTER  PACKING UP AND READY TO LEAVE ME  HIGHT AND  DRY! NOT SURE WHAT SHE IS  DOING  WITH HER LIFE! I AM  IN SO LOST AND MISS MY GOOD  MORING  GRAND  MAW IN THE  MORING! NOW I AM  CLEAING UP AFTER  SHE MOVED OUT!  SO MAD  TO SEE THE  MESS ! NOW I AM  JUST LEFT  WITH THE  MESS  SHE  SHE  MADE! AND  THE BILLS  SHE OWES! NOT GOING TO BE  ABLE  TO  SEE MY GRAND  BABBY ANY  MORE! EVERY ONE LEFT ME IN MY   TIME OF  NEED!

TO BE BETRAYED BT THE ONE  YOU LOVE? THAT IS  WHAT IS ON MY MIND! AS MOST OF  MY FOLLERS  KNOW I AM IN THE PROCES OF GOING TO THE GRAND JURY! NOT  GOOD!Y FIRST  TIME  AND  HOPE  FOR IT  TO BE  MY LAST TIME1  WHAT HURTS THE   MOST IDS I  HAS  BETRAYED MY MY ONLY CHIL AND  TROWN UNDER THE  BUS!  LOVE IS A  SRANG  THING! IF  THAT IS LOVE I  DO  NOT  NEED IT IN  MY LIFE!  THE OTHER  PART  THAT  HURTS THE  MOST IS SHE IS  HAVING MY  FIRSY GRAND  SUN! I AM  HAPPY AND  THEN I AM  SAD!  WHAT TO DO I LIKE TO   BE ABLE TO SEE MY ONLY GRANS  SUN I AM  GING TO HAVE! ON THE  OTHER   HAD I  LIKE  TO KICK  HUR   TO THE  CURVE  AND   GO   ON   WITH MY  LIFE  AS IIKNOW IT! I AM  SO  SAD   AND I AM  SO LOST!  ALL THE PEOPLE  THAT I  THIUGT WOULD  BE THERE FOR ME   ARE NOT! TIME  GFOR ME  TO   MOVE  ON  AND  PICK   BETTER PEOPLE  AS MY  FRIENDS!  SO  SAD  AND  LOST   WHAT  TO   TO?/

IS LIFE A LOSING  GAVE! SOME SAY IT  IS HOW   YOU  PLAY  THE GAVE! WELL I WAS NEVER GOOD AT PLAYING  GAMES! NOW I HAVE TO PUT ON MY  GAME  FACE AND START TO PLAYTHE GAME OF  LIFE!  EVER HEARD  THE SAYING  GOD NEVER GIVES  YOU MORE THAN YOU  CAN HANDLE! WELL MY PLATE IS  FULL! GOD IS  TRING TO TELL ME   SOMETHING! I NEED TO  SEE  WHAT IT IS HE IS TRYING TO TELL ME! LIF IS  SO  SHORT AND NEVER A GIVEN THING! SO I GESSI LIFE TODAY FOR TODAY ANS  SEE WHERE  THAT  TAKES ME!

IF  YOU HAVE NEVE  BEEN TO JAILL LIKE ME! YOU ARE IN  FOR A RUDE AWAKING! GOING TO JAILL WAS  ALL  MOST  THE WORST THING I  HAVE  EVER  BEEN  THEW AS AN  ADULT!  I HAVE TO SAY THE  WORST THING I EVER WENT  THEW  WAS BEING BEATEN  ALL MOST TO DEATH AND RAPED BY MY KIDS DADDY!  NOW  AS   FOR  JAILL IT WAS  BAD!  ALL YOU ARE TO   THEM   IS  YOU  SINN #  AND NO  NAME! YOU  GET  WHAT YOU GET ON  THERE TIME AND  NOT  YOUR! EVERY THING  YOU DO IS  UP  TO  THEM!  GOING TO  JAILL OPNED MY EYS UP! NOW I AM  LIKE SO SCARED TO SEE A  JAILL CELL ANY  MORE!   WHEN I WENT  IN  I WAS  WITH A  GIRL WHO STARVED   HER  CHILD  TO DEATH AND  A GIRL  WHO STABED  HER  BOY FRIEND INTHE  NECK  AND SOME  GIRL IN ON A  MAGER  DRUG  BUST  WHEREI LIVE  AT1  NOT TO PRITTY TO  WATCH OR LISSEN TO  GIRLS  THOW UP AND  WITH DROW  FROM DRUNG  LIKE HURRON!  YOU NEVER GET TO SLEEP OR SHOWER  WHEE I WAS   TILL THEY GIVE   YOU   YOU  MUNKY  SUTE AND A  TOWLE  WITH  COULD  TAKE  FIVE DAYS OR  MORE!  BOTY DID  THE  WHOE  THING  SUCK AND  STILL SUKC  FOR ME! I   MY SELF  AN LOOKING  AT TEN  YEARS IN PRISSON! IALL I AM  DOING  NOW IS  GOING  BACK AND   FORTH TO CORT  AND  WHO KNOWS  WHEN  THAT WILL  STOP! WICH I   HAD THE  $$ FOR A LAWER!  WHAT I WOULD  DO  TO  HAVE  A GOOD  LAWER!

WHAT IT FILLS LIKE TO HAVE SOME ONE THINK I AM SO BEATUFULL! CAN NOT BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW I FRISL!  SOME ONE WHO CALLS AND CHECKS ON  ME  EVERY DAY! SOME ONE WHO CALLS AND SAYS GOOD MORNING BABY! SOME ONE WHO CALLS ME  JUST O LISSEN TO ME AND SOME ONE WHO LOVES ME  SIGHT UNSEN! SOME ONE WHO THINKS IAM ALL THAT! I NEVER GET THIS LUCK  AND I HOPE I STAY THIS WAY! LOVE IS A GRAND  THING! LOVE CAN MOVE A MOUNT AND BILD A BRIG  ALL AT THE  SAME TIME! LOVE THE  WAY  HE  MAKES ME FILL! HOPE IT NEVER ENDS!

FREEDOM! WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO YOU?  HERE LATLEY MYNE MEANS EVERY THING TO ME! YOU CAN HAVE IT ONE DAY AND THE NEXT  IT IS GOHN! NEVER TAKE FORGRANTED ANY THING OR ANY ONE HAVE IN YOUR LIFE! LIFE IS SO SHORT AND CAN CHANG IN A BLINK OF AN EYE OR JUST A BAD DISION YOU MAKE! ONE DAY YOU  ARE OUT INT THE REALL WORLK AND THE NEXT  YOU ARE LOCKED UP AND EVERY THING  IS TAKEN AWY FROM YOU! THEN ALL YOU ARE IS SIN # AND YOU WATE TO SEE WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO  YOU!  ONCE YOU ARE IN THE LEAGAL SYSTEM IT IS  SO HARD TO GET OUT OF IT! PEOPLE NEVER LOOKAT YOU THE SAME  WHY THEY USED TO AND PEOPLE NEVER TRUST YOU AGAIN! LIFE AS I NO IT  HAS CHANGED AND IAM CHANGING TO  ! HAVE TO!

YES I SAID IT  LIFE CAN CHANG IN A BLINK OF AN EYE! I WAS MAKING  PLANS FOR A BETTER LIFE FOR ME! WAS PLANING ON MOVING OUT OF WHERE I LIVED FOR ABOUT 16 YEARS!  WAS GOING TO CHANG  MY LIFE AND DO BETTER FOR MYSELF! I  HAD MADE ALL THESE PLANS AND  WAS GOING TO LIVE A BETTER LIFE! NOW I HAVE TO PUT ALL THOSE PKANS TO A STOP AND SEE WHERE THE LEAGLE SYSTEM IS GOING TO TAKE ME! GOT MY SELF IN A JAM AND I HAVE TO GET OUT OF IT! LIFE CAN CHANG IN A BLILK OF AND EYE! YOUR FREDOM AS YOU KNOW IT  CAN BE TAKEN AWY FROM YOU! LIFE IS TO CHORT AND IT CAN CHANGE IN A BLIK OF AND EYE!

JUST FOUND OUT FOR THE HOLIDAY THAT I AM GOING TO BE A  GRAND  MA!  NOT  TO HAPPY ABOUT THAT ! I FILL I AM  TO YOUNG  AND  WISH  SHE  HAD WATED TILL  SHE WAS MARED  AND  HAD HER OWNE  LIFE1! TO  LATE NOW! SHE   HAS  A JOB  AND LIKES IT   SHE  IS  NOVING  OUT  OF  MY HOME TO BE WITH  HER STEP DADDY! I AM SAD NOW! I  BE ALL  ALONE AND HAVE  NO  ONE! SHE ALL READY FOUNF  HER A LIFE  COACH  AND IS PLANING  A  POOL  SIDE BABY SHOWER! OF  CORSE WITH OUT ME!  SHE IS  DUR  BEFOR  MY BIRTHDAY! AROUND  AUGUST 15  ANF  MY BIRTHDAY IS   TH 26 TH OF  AUGUST!  THAT  WILL   BE NICE! I KNOW I AM  GOING TO BE KNOCKED OUT OF THE  LABER ROOM ! I WILL LIVE  ! I WOULD LIKE TO  HAVE  MY OWNE  PICKS   BUT WILL  HAVE TO GET THEM  WHEN  SHE  GET OUT OF THE  HOSPITAL! ALLLREADY  BEEN  NOCED OUT OF THE  DR  OFFICE VITS AND THE  FIRST  ULTER  SOUND! IAM  SAD   BUT LIFE  GOES ON AND I  WILL HOLD  MY  HEAD  UP  AND  HOPE SHE  GOES THEW  SOME OF THE THINGS I  HAD  TO  GO  THEW  WITH  HER!~  LIFE IS   TO SHORT  FOR   WHAT IF   SO I  HAVE TO GO  ON AND   MAKE  MY OWNE  LIFE!

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SOME TIMES I THINK ABOUT WHAT IT  WOULD LIKE TO SEE MY BIRTH MOM AND  DAD!  MY MOM IS ON HER  3  MARAGE  AND IS  60 YEARS OLD  AND  STIL  LOKKS  GOOD! MY DAD  HAVE  NOT  SEAN  HIM   SINCE THE  STATE  CAME  AND  TOOK  US ALL AWAY! I THINK ABOUT   HIM  AND  THIKS I  MAY  BE  MUCH  BETTER OFF  WITH OUT  HIM IN MY LIFE! I AM  THE OLDEST OUT OF 6 HOLE  SIBLING  AND  2  HALF!  I  HAVE  A  SISTER  AND ONE  BROTHERE  WHO  LIVE  NEAR ME! WE  TALK  SOME  TIME  AND  HANG  OUT  SOME TIME!  SO  I   HAVE  TO  SAY  FAMILY  IS  WHO  YOU  MAKE IT!  BELEAVE THAT! FRIENDS  COME  AND  GO IN MY LIFE!