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Family

I spend my time in my room.   My computer is there, as is a tv, the only things I dont have are a refridgerator and microwave.  T says forget it.  For that matter, so does G.

 

We dont have face to face conversations.  Each of us has a computer and we Yahoo each other, rather than walk to another room.  It makes things easier.  Kinda.

 

We do eat dinner together, which is nice, and we usually smoke a cig together before we do clean up and what ever else needs done.

 

Here is the problem.  They complain about me isolating.  The truth of the matter is that we all isolate.  G and M shut their door most of the day, T DJ's on fubar any chance she gets.

 

The dogs even isoolate, although they are usually at least two of them together, they still prefer their own company than us, UNLESS it is feeding time, or bed time.  Four of the dogs sleep sleep with t, and buddy sometimes sleeps with me, which means he gets most of my pillows.

 

It really isnt that bad.  I come out of my room when I need ice tea, coffee.  Tami wonders around the house checking on people.

 

The dogs wonder around the house during the day, usually wanting attention, or to go out.

I may as well warn you, this will be an ongoing series..... Last night, or early this morning, 'W' came home for a few days. Now, at 2:30 I woke up and had to go use the facilities, and was summoned to the kitchen by 'T' to explain some of the new things about her new computer. Nothing really hard to understand, it has a built in tv tuner, am/fm spdif etc. I think the fact it had its own remote control kinda threw her for a loop. Meanwhile, 'C' woke up and wondered into the kitchen, got excited about 'W' being home, screamed in joy, and set the dogs off. Shadow got her with a size 13 paw. Around 0430 everyone else went to bed. Now I stayed awake waiting for the FUBAR FOUR aka the dogs, to come in demanding to be let out to play. It never happened. So, around 9:30 I decided to lay back down. BIG MISTAKE. 'C' came to my door hollering for me. Evidently, she felt her mother was not qualified to get her a bottle of water out of the case. At this point I need to explain something. To begin with I am NOT a morning person. Hell, I am not a afternoon person that often. I pride myself on the fact that I have taken grouchy to an art form. So, when you combine that with the lack of sleep, you have a creature that has forgotten how to be human, and considers anything breathing to be a target for his rage. I lay back down and the phone rings, 'W' is needing information about a motherboard to construct another computer in the house to extend the network... Since I have the unused, brand new motherboard, why not? Now, my son, 'TMF' came out with my grandson 'lT.' Now, 'lT' brings out another side of Shadow. You see, Shadow automatically goes into the 'my baby' attitude. So, this means that the baby gets cleaned, protected, and basically causes Shadow to make a complete fool of himself. (and you thought babies made adults act like idiots) Of course, 'T' has taken complete charge of the baby, 'W' is now more or less a bump on a log. And, I, the grandfather, has been regulated to excess baggage. I have come to the conclusion that women fell that men have no common sense when it comes to infants. Not true, I have discovered the little guy likes coffee, dislikes cigarette smoke, and loves pulling beards. Now, tomorrow is going to be interesting. 'T' is having 3 teeth pulled. This means that she is going to be in rare form. It also means the rest of us will be in the killing zone. Did I mention 'T' has returned to her old job and Jack-n-Jill donuts? This change has made it even more important to have fresh coffee made when she gets home at 7AM. It also means that no dishes are in the sink, laundry is at least in the laundry baskets, dog food dishes are full (it doesnt matter if they were full when you went to bed, they better be full when she gets home or you may not eat for a day or two) Now, working a 1030 to 630 shift overnight would have most people ready to sleep when getting home.... 'T' is not most people. Upon arriving home, depending on what mood she is in, she could go on a cleaning rampage, decide to do some major construction work, detail plans for her next days off which will means trying to cram a months worth of stuff into two days. Also at this time, 'T' announces what sounds good for dinner when she wakes up. This is usually something called 'whatever.' I have never seen 'whatever' sold in stores, nor have I seen it in cook books, so if you know where to buy it or how to make it, let me know. And, thank the gods, the rest of the household finally understands why my sleep pattern is a mess. I go to bed at 10 or 1030, and at 230 the dogs wake me, and every hour after that it is the same thing, "we want to go out and play." It wouldnt be so bad, but, they announce their desire for early morning play time by bouncing on whatever part of my body is available. I really think that someday, someone is going to look in my room and see me pummeled half to death with paw prints all over my body.

The Cemetary Zoo

This household consists of 2 adult human (?) males, 2 adult human females, 1 three year old female, appears to be human, an 20 month old pit/lab male, 2 1/2 year old cocker spaniel/chow/red healer/ dumbmation (this is a dalmation that chases cats and runs into trees) and rat terrier, and one 4 year old rat terrier, and on 1 year old white, curl tailed, brown spotted critter that appears to be a canine of some sort.... With that said, I have to point out that one of the males, who shall remain nameless, drives a truck and is gone all but 3 or four days a month, leaving me, the eldest of the bunch, alone to deal with the rest of the household. Now, before you say, "How bad can that be?" let me point out, you do not know 'T' when she hits one of her bitchy spells, or goes on a cleaning rampage. 'M' seems alright, but is prone to bouts of insanity brought on by 'C' her three year old daughter. As for the canines, lil red is afraid of trucks, any trucks, within a one mile radius of the house, Buddy hates any of the dogs getting in his face, Shadow either guards the food dish OR sits in front of the heater insuring that he is warm while the rest of the people in the room gets the left overs, and 'C' is your typical 3 year old demon child possessed by some she devil. An example of 'T' on a bitch fest begins with something along the lines of 'Where is..' 'Who did...' or 'WHY IS THERE NO FRESH COFFEE?' the last is reason to vacate the county. 'T' exists on coffee, I sometimes believe she could do without air as long as she had her coffee. Now, when 'T' goes on a cleaning spree, nothing is safe or sacred. Locked doors will not keep her from her demented desire to organize and clean, after which, you will never find what you are looking for because 'T' has filed it according to some system only she knows. 'M' is a fairly decent individual who seems to allow her mind to take nose dives into the gutter with the least provocation. No matter what is said, she will, without a second passing, have turned it into a picture that is indecent, immoral and possibly impossible. And being the mother of a 3 year old, you can see the looks of absolute confusion as her brain argues with itself on the merits of pulling her hair out by the roots and run screaming into the hills. (I hate to tell her, and I haven't, but that confusion doesnt stop until the child is out of the house and living on their own.) 'C' is an adorable 3 year old little girl, blond, blue eyed and possessed by some demon. She has the ability of any child, that as soon as they are not being watched closely, can find, get into, and instigate some incident which has the adults bouncing off the walls, and the dogs running for cover. As I said, this is the ability of any child her age, but sometimes I wonder, should I tell her mom this is only the beginning? Now, Shadow, the pit lab guards food bowls, sticks, balls, anything with the fierceness of his wolf ancestors. However, turn on a water hose and he turns into an acrobat of superior talent and dexterity. Of course, he has his tender side as well, like when he decides he needs to be held. Imagine waking up in the middle of the night with a 65 pound dog on your chest licking your face who has just ate dog food.... Lil red has the most acute hearing, she can hear a truck of any size up to a mile a way. We know when the garbage is being picked up, the neighbor has gotten home who lives a half mile up the road, or the school buses run. The signs are simple, whining, a whining bark, and if the truck is delivering propane, a puddle on the carpet. Buddy, the rat terrier is the alpha male of the dogs, and the smallest. He hates for anyone to get into his face, the result of being attacked a year ago, insists on sleeping on a pillow under the covers, and if he had his way, would be eating McDonald's for breakfast lunch and dinner. Then we have lucky, the demon child. This cute, fuzzy, innocent looking dog has stolen pants, underwear, socks, pajamas, blue jeans, tennis shoes, dish towels, blankets, basically anything not nailed down and promptly destroys it. Now, the stealing of the pants, underwear and socks was to prevent 'T' from going to work. Otherwise he contents himself with attacking feet, sliding face licks at all hours of the night, midnight pounces for the hell of it, and dragging one of three of his security blankets around... yes, three, a sheet, a quilt he destroyed, and a towel he has partially destroyed. Now we have 'W' who drives the truck. Or as I sometimes refer to him as, "He who leaves me in the loony bin." You see, when he is home, for the most part everything is normal, BUT, as soon as he leaves, the insanity begins again. He actually refuses to believe it when I try to explain it to him. As for me, I am spending my time designing a house that can be built in which my room lies behind a series of protective barriers, beginning with a 3 ton vault door, followed by steel bars, a lion pit, shark pool, an Indiana Jones style boulder trap and finally a magnetically sealed door. Of course, I am also making plans just in case those defenses are breached... but as of yet, I have not been able to contact the Klingon embassy concerning the purchase of a surplus Bird of Prey frigate....
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