DragonHeart's blog: "Kidney stone...."

So it seems that everything I touch turns to shit, and everyone I care about, I push away. What in the hell is wrong with me? I hate thinking of myself, but, for the first time in a long time, I can't seem to get past a point where I can help anyone with out thinking of myself. I don't know what to do. I realized that I do care for someone, but, she and I rushed things, and I am hoping that we can start over, but I think I may have hurt her, and its killing me. I know I care for her, and I do love her, however, she and I did go too fast, and I think she and I should stop to think about things before going any farther, if we can. I do pray that I have not hurt her, and if she reads this, you are an amazing woman, you are so beautiful, but we did rush things, considering we can't see each other, and I am sorry, but I don't know if we would be as happy in person as we are online, and till we can know this, we need to start over as friends, and build from there, I am not saying that I don't love you, I do, but, we need to see how that truly works out.

Well, I had a fun start to the new year. On New Years eve, I went to the ER, thinking I had a kidney infection, which is something, sadly, that I am used to. Well, I get to the ER and was hurting so bad that I could barely walk from my car to the ER doors, and I have never hurt that bad before. Skipping the boring bits, they did a CT scan of my kidneys, just incase there was something else going on, besides the kidney infection (which I did have). Well, they decide to keep me over night so I could get fluids and a couple rounds of strong antibiotic, when I get to my room, the ER doctor informs me that he found a 2 inch stone in my left ureter right where it meets the bladder..... Great..... This is a good time to point out, I have never had a stone before, so, my first one, I went big I guess. After being removed, it was found that he could not find my ureter (the stone passed overnight I'm guessing because it was completely in my bladder at this point)and so, I am now sitting here with a tube in my back because the ureter was still not flowing. This coming Tuesday, they are going to see about getting it open and flowing again from behind the blockage. Sounds fun eh? I will say, I hope anyone that reads this had a better New Year than I did, and I am sure that there are yet others that had worse, and for those that had a worse New Year, I truly do wish them the best.