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97.5 KMOD....TULSA'S ROCK STATION! HERE'S THE LINK; http://2005.kmod.com/main.html (it's a kickass local rock station here in Ok. I listen to it everyday,if you've heard of "R.D MERCER" WELL,THIS IS HIS HOME STATION,COME CHECK IT OUT,IT FUCKIN ROCKS! The Legend Continues Phil Stone and Brent Douglas... still whupin' ass after all these years Every Morning Catch Phil & Brent and the rest of the Morning Zoo every weekday morning from 6-10 and don't forget the Best of the Morning Zoo Saturday mornings Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Here's How It All Goes Down; Mondays: it's Morning Zoo Weatherman Dick Lexia with the five day forecast and the Top 11 list Tuesdays: win valuable prizes if you can Stump the Zoo. General knowledge trivia only please. Good Luck!! Wednesdays: learn a little something you probably didn't want to know with Phil's Phast Phacts and get a behind the scenes look at the Phil & Brent Show with Producer Brett's Weblog Thursdays: join Gaseous and Upchuckus for another edition of Greek Theatre and Roy Damn Mercer will be whuppin' somebody's ass! Friday: get your spiritual kharma aligned with Doctor Gene Squatt and find out what's going on at Roy D's double-wide and get a few fishing tips with Roy D Mercer's Fishing Report Personality Links Roy D. Mercer www.myspace.com/roydmercer www.realtonejukebox.com Roy Dam Mercer If you’ve followed the storied life of Roy D Mercer and his family, then you already know that Mercer is the most famous codger you’ve never seen. He’s spent the past decade abusing unsuspecting folks on the phone, seeking satisfaction for various wrongdoings, and offering up healthy doses of “pop-knots” and “ass-whuppin’s.” “Its long been legend that Roy D Mercer was conceived under a shower of welding sparks and now, it seems that legend may actually be fact. Here’s the story as told in Roy’s own words: ‘Mama and Daddy was workin’ on the Hoover Dam back in the late ‘20’s or early ‘30’s. Daddy was a welder and mama hauled them weldin’ rods. You know there’s just somethin’ ‘bout two folks up on a scaffolding by theyselves… it’s hot, and they got them big weldin’ goggles on an’ such, and nature just took it’s course. They was a team, welder and weld-rod holder. ‘Course she held more than just his weld-rod from what I understand. I come out 9 months later with a full-growed set a’ teeth and doubled up fists.’ There’s no telling where the adventures of Roy D. Mercer and his family, including wife Sharon Gene, son Raymond, step-daughter Lateesha, and their little dog Bon Jovi, will take them next, so we’ll just have to sit back and open up a bag of pork rinds while we all wait in eager anticipation. So you want to be more like Roy D. Sure, you're overcome by the big man's charisma; his unquenchable thirst for life; his devotion to family; his surefire ability to find a suitable scapegoat; his empathetic sensitivity matched only by his emphatic refusal to accept responsibility. You've listened the the albums, over and over again. You've increased your caloric intake by 300%, raised your blood pressure, and shortened your temper. Might we also recommend a refusal to be hampered by the overly-strict rules of the English language. Below are just a few of Roy's more memorable turns of phrase. Read them. Memorize them. Live by them. It ain't funny. I'll knock a lung loose. I'm gonna be on you like ugly on a Baldwin brother. You're about to git yer dough popped. I'll be on you like rust on a pump handle. I'm gonna tear you a new corn chute. I'll kick yer ass so hard you'll have to clear yer throat to fart. I'm tougher 'n a two dollar steak. I'll be on you like a rat on a cheeto. I'm gonna git a hunk outta you big enough to clog the drain. I'll tear into you like a hobo into a bologna sandwich. I'm gonna wipe the floor with ya, then whup yer ass for not gettin' in the corners. I'll put a popknot on yer head big enough for a calf to suck on. I'm gonna hit ya so hard, yer kids'll be borned dizzy. I'll be on you like ugly on a baboon's ass. . I'll beat you like pancake batter. I'm gonna tear into you like a mountain lion into a baby goat. You're gonna be worse than the alligator was when the lake went dry. I'll tear into you like a stray dog into an alley dumpster. I'm gonna kick yer ass so hard you can whistle through yer hemorrhoids. I'll be on you like Bobby Knight on a point guard. I'm gonna be on somebody like stink on an Adam Sandler movie Kick your ass so hard you can cough and fart at the same time You gonna be laughin' out the other side of your face over there I'm gonna put a pop knot on your head so big you're gonna need a support garment I'll be on you like red ants on a spilt snowcone The fella that's getting ready to dot both your eyes I was gonna come over there and grab you by the matza balls and wouldn't let go till it thunders I was getting ready to come over there and box your ears You ain't bigger than a pop corn fart I'll jump right square in the middle of ya, stomp a mudhole and stop it dry I'll be getting on you like a boar hog on a corn cob She's ready to knock a pop knot on your head big enough to need a birth certificate I'll whup your ass so fast it'll make your head spin Kick your ass so hard you'll be able to apply Preparation H with a toothbrush I'm getting ready to kick somebody's ass so hard you're gonna eat dingleberries in your Cap'N Crunch I was getting ready to be on you like a cockroach on a HoneyBun It's gonna be nothing for me to get down there to clean your clock. You went off like a Roman candle fresh bought. Get on you like dried gum on a park bench I'll work somebody a new corn shoot down 'er Tear into you like a dad gum cordouroy into a hemoroid I'll be on you like ants on a fish head Punch you right between the running lights I'm gonna put a pop knot on your head big enough to have an "umbiblical cord" Be on somebody like ugly on a baboon's ass She's gonna be on your chin like melted pizza cheese My wife was getting ready to tear you up like a mountain lion into a baby goat I'm gonna be on you like a wet fart on satin undies I'm gonna beat somebody like a stray dog I'm gonna tear into somebody like a hobo does a balogna sandwich I'm getting ready to knock a bunch of pop knots on your head you could navigate with I'm getting ready to be on you like Old Testament on somebody's ass Getting ready to put a pop knot on your head big enough to have it's own social security number I'm getting ready to be on somebody like a piss ant on a bed roll Look like you ain't bigger than a bar of soap Me and you getting ready to go to fist city ALL I CAN SAY IS....GO CHECK IT OUT! IT'S AN AWESOME RADIO STATION TO STREAM RIGHT NOW YOU CAN LISTEN TO OZZY'S NEW CD ON THERE BEFORE IT COMES OUT, JUST CLICK ON THE "OZZY SNEAKPEAK" & U CAN LISTEN TO THE WHOLE CD IT FUCKIN ROCKS!Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
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