sexy mommy of 09 fuowned by SATAN's blog: "just some nita thoughts"

just like tha title say it's fuckin christmas and i'm sittin here pissed off and all bymyself...how fuckin great is that...i wounder how fuckin bad you have to be to not even be invited home for christmas...instead i get to sit here alone on someone else computer and do nothing.........MARRY CHRISTMAS NITA

well my one of my best friends is havein a baby and tha other is gettin married...how sweet is this...i mean i really happy for them...but that again...it kinda makes me feel like crap ya know...but i am happy for them...it's all good...i am tha god mother and maid of honor tho...that rocks!!

so far i like to think my life has been simple...when i was younger i was a nobody...i got older got a lil cuter...i got more friends...and my name was out there...good and bad..i have great friends(sometime)but most of tha time...and my family be chilin when they want too...but tha one thing i have never really had was a special boy that made me feel like he was just for me...i see my girl with a new guy that hates me but loves her so to make up for hatin me he gets her whatever she wants..or tha one that will wait for tha crimal to get set free(long story)but still it's love...and i have had guyz who said tha words...but didn't mean it...i mean i haven't been a real relationship in so long cuz of all that bullshit...and when i do find someone i would like to give it a chance with it's not tha same for him...maybe i'm suppose to be alone...every lil girl has her dream of gettin married and bein a mommy but for me that seems like that's just what it is a dream...i even had someone tell me i was a rare breed cuz most girls my age are in a long term relationship...married...or workin their way to rulin tha world...(their words)...so figured i start lookin out for me more...so i'm lookin for better jobs...new apartment...new car...and then i guess i'll just have to wait and see who comes my way...it's just hard not havin someone to hold..to kiss..to love on..idk...i guess i just don't like to wait..i'm not lookin but god it would be nice to know when i'll have one..oh well!! and that's my first blog