Over 16,514,291 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?

I don't feel as thought I have to explain my actions, but I can give a general summary.

For personal reasons, I've cleared out the majority of my list. I probably like you, we're probably friends. In fact, we probably text each other or have eachother on Facebook. I didn't delete you because I dislike you in any way.

I did it for peace of mind. You are more than welcome to re-add me if you feel as though I have jilted you in some way. I assure you, my "list" here does not determine my friendship with people. I don't believe I need to have you here to be your friend, but if you feel otherwise, by all means, readd me. It's to my discretion if I accept.

As for others, we probably stopped talking a long time ago. 

For any one who hasn't figured this out and is having issues replying to messages, it's pretty straight forward.

Don't click on the message from your bartab, just go to your inbox.

Mark all as read.

Now when you go into the messages, you can click "reply" and send a message.

The new system they have in place actually works. Too bad it's extremely glitchy.

Hey, you. Yes, you. 

I'm going to cut to the chase: flirting with me makes me want to block you. I don't want to have to block you, but I'm not here to be your object of desire, your plaything, your online relationship, or your reason for existence. Aside from not understand quite what you see in me, I'm simply not interested. I don't want to be picked up, I don't want to plan a future with you, I'm not interested in meeting you, and I have no desire whatsoever to see your cock.

Surprised? Why?

If you walked up to me in the street, I can guarantee you wouldn't say, "hey sexy, how big are your tits?" or "is your daddy a thief? Because he must have stolen the stars to make your eyes sparkle." or "Am I in heaven? Because you my dear are an angel." Your opening line wouldn't be to unzip your pants and show me your cock in broad daylight. If you asked me out for coffee and I politely declined, you wouldn't call me a cunt, slut, ugly fat bitch, ho, whore, skank, fuwhore, blingslut or whatever else just seems to roll off your tongue here.

Your flirting makes me uncomfortable. I get awkward and laugh a lot. I'm not here to flirt. I'm not here to cyber either, so get that out of your head right now.

After I bat away your attempts at flirting, sometimes you persist. "Hey baby" becomes a common phrase. I'm not your "baby". In fact, I'm no one's "baby". At least not right now, and if I were, I guarantee I wouldn't be yours. I don't believe that relationships can pop up out of thin air simply because you met at an online bar. Maybe if we talked for a couple years and I got up the nerve to meet you, and we had a real "first date", something could happen - I'll admit that much. But you know what, that's not you. You won't make it past the first message, let alone two or three years of talking down the road. Why? Because your opening line shows me that you're a disrespectful pig who thinks everything with legs and a vagina wants to see your cock. We don't, thanks for offering, refrain from offering again.

If you can't stimulate me intellectually, you'll eventually get cut. If all you talk about is Fubar, trust me, we have nothing in common.

After I ignore you, or polietly tell you I don't like your sexual innuendos and can we please just be friends, you sometimes ignore me and continue. You wonder why I get angry, irritated and stop talking to you. I am not just photos on a website. I'm a real person with thoughts, feelings and reactions. I don't enjoy being talked to like a whore. In fact, if that's how you talk to women, I'm not at all surprised you're trying to jack it to girls online and paying for naked photos with bling packs. I don't fancy you acting like we're in a relationship when we've talked twice. I don't enjoy being called babe, baby, sexy, honey, or any other pet name that would be better suited for a couple - which we are not.

Friendliness is sometimes just friendliness. It's not secret flirting. I don't play games. If I like you, have feelings for you, think it's possible that I want to meet you, see you, get to know you, I will tell you. If I don't, chances are, it's because I don't. I don't want to procure a relationship right now, I have a lot on my plate. If I choose to be in a relationship in the near future, it's because I've found a gentleman who treats me properly and doesn't act as if I'm an object.

Despite having all the usually warning signs, including a massive neon-lights "FUCK OFF" sign on my forehead, sometimes you don't get the hint. I'll be blunt, a bitch, cruel even. Now, what did you see in me? Because you shouldn't. Run away.

 

Best wishes,
Jessica 

Warning Label 2011

I previously wrote this out but I feel the need to make some changes to it, and more to the point. Public because, well, this is why I didn't add you.

WARNING: Consumption of this product should be used with extreme caution. Overuse of this product may believe you to think it is interested in you when it is not. Will not result in drowsiness. Will explode under pressure. Keep out of reach of children. It is important that you take or use this exactly as directed. Do not skip doses or discontinue use unless directed by your doctor. This medication may upset your stomach. Take it with crackers, bread or a small meal. Do not drink alcoholic beverages when taking this medication. This drug may impair the ability to drive or operate machinery. Use care until you become familiar with its effects.

SECTION A: GENERAL 
i. I am flirtatious by nature but this does not mean I am attracted to you in any way, shape or form. I think flirting is fun. I flirt with everyone. I flirt with veganism. I flirt with cigarettes. I flirt with drugs and alcohol. I flirt with commitment. I flirt with technology. I flirt. Get over it. 
ii. My priorities are offline and not online, unless it refers to my job, which involves an extensive amount of time of online work. Only a few people know what my job actually entails, and no, I will not share it with you. 
iii. I treat you like a puzzle and usually give up and throw it in the trash if it proves to be boring. Sorry. Not really. 
iv. I'm a Leo which traditional astrology will tell you all these lovely things, but the reality is that I'm lazy, vain, spoiled, selfish and stubborn. I'm also an exhibitionist and probably a bit of a flirt hoar. This is offset by my personal dissatisfaction for how I look at all times. It's a type of BDD. Google magic, my friends. 
v. I hate confrontation and will avoid it at all costs, whether childish or immature. This is because if I do confront you, it is with murderous rage. You probably want to avoid this.

SECTION B: RELATIONSHIPS 
i. I shouldn't have to tell you to respect me, and I know that respect is earned not automatic. However, it is one thing to be neutral in terms of respect versus outright disrespect when we've never interacted. Sending me dirty messages and "compliments" about [enter explicit activities here] with me are not welcomed and simply irritate me. I do not have "slutbag whore" stamped on my forehead, and I don't want to be talked to like one.
ii. Run, now because you're not going to get anywhere with me. 
iii. I'm the assassin in the relationship. My Mars is in Capricorn. This is all you get. 
iv. I have this magical quality that men refer to, but I think it would be more akin to some kind of haze you are under. Why you fell for me, is beyond me. Unless you are me. Then it makes more sense. 
v. All the men in my life that stick around are gay. Plain and simple. Unless they have some ulterior motive. 

SECTION C: FRIENDSHIPS 
i. You are all individuals and thus, so is our friendship. If you haven't figured out that I will not go into a public battlefield to intervene between two friends, then you are a moron, and we are probably not friends. I will, however, go to bat for a friend when the person on the receiving end is someone I don't know and don't talk to. 
ii. It's not a second chance if you've had a thousand but that doesn't mean I won't give it. I am a strong believer that everyone who enters and exits my life did so for a reason and I try to learn from it. I also think growing and transforming is part of a person, and if they have "wronged" me in some way, I'm willing to let them into my life again. This may be naive of me, but I don't care. Its how I operate. 
iii. I'm a secret keeper and don't have any desire to share your secrets with the world. That doesn't mean I want to hear them, but if you share, I will listen. Everything that is said to me stays between us. I'm not always granted this same respect. 
iv. I love my friends more than I love myself. This says a lot, as I'm a Leo. It also means that my friends (and family for that matter) will always come before any guy. 99.9% of the time, they were there first. 99.9% of the time, they will be there when the guy leaves because of Section B. 
vi. I'm a shitty friend in the eyes of those who do not consider me a true friend. Because of Section A:ii, I do not sit around chatting all day, or texting all day. If it is a real emotional emergency or otherwise, I will drop everything. I mean, everything. If its to whine that I talked to so-and-so more than you yesterday, then I'm probably ignoring you. 
vii. I'm an amazing friend if you treat our friendship like a two-way street. This means I understand you have a life, and you understand I do. This means I make the effort to talk to you, you make the effort to talk to me. I don't do one-way streets.

SECTION D: FUBAR
i. I don't rate people
 often. At this point, I would probably be long gone if I didn't enjoy talking to the friends I have here. That being said, I sometimes attempt to level and everyone who's ever helped, I truly thank for that.
ii. Bling doesn't buy you friendship. Pretty self explanatory. Nothing of monetary value, really. 
iii. I am only here for friends. I'm not here to procure a relationship offline, I'm not here to date, I'm not here to cyber, I'm not here to flash you on cam, and I'm not here to talk about our hypothetical future in the real non-fubar world.
iv. I don't like snoops. If you come to my page purely to snoop around and then create anonymous accounts to send me threatening messages, you seriously need a life. 

Take at your own risk. Do not exceed the recommended dosage. Side effects may include snarkiness, sarcasm, bitchiness, irritation, anger, amongst others.

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