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Ponderings

I sit here- in the dead of Texas summer- hoodie on with hood over my head, blanket across my legs, houseshoes on, a/c totally turned down, and I am freezing my ass off!! Doesn't make sense. Can only mean I am getting sick- or that I am sick already. Fuckin great- just what I need after all the rest of the BS goin on in my life. I cannot afford to miss work for ANY reason, so I will have to go in there and fake it and hope no one notices my shivering or my flushed face. I HAVE been wanting some time off, Goddess, but NOT like this!! Lol!! Funny how life twists and turns, though, isn't it? The one you thought you wanted turns out not to be the one you truly wanted at all- the fight you thought lost turns into a victory- thinking your heart broken, you find it filled with more joy than you could possibly imagine. And all that thanks to one that seemed to wait patiently for you to come to your senses. And through it all, that four-letter word [that really has more than four letters] hoovers like a pesky skeeter around your psyche: Patience. Ah, but we Irish don't really have that word in our vocabulary, do we? Goddess has to drum it into our heads like war drums before a battle! But in those stolen moments when we get it, we understand a little of Her purpose, a smidgen of Her wisdom. *sigh* So tired. Probably will not stay up much longer- need to rest before the next battle. My body feels like it has been in a saddle for days. So I go to sing- loud and strong as I always do when I feel awful. It helps sometimes- if I can raise my tempurature with my song, it helps break whatever fever I may have. Warned y'all I'm a strange lot. So, 'til next time, my minions..... Blessed Be )O(

Land of the Free?


Wake up and pay attention!

Turn Up Your Speakers & Listen!


Why do people commit suicide?

Suicide

Why do people cut themselves?

Bleed

Why do girls become anorexic and bulimic?

Anorexic

Why do kids bring guns to school?

Kill

Why do kids get depressed...so they start using meds, and abusing them?

Meds

Why do girls feel the need to act like sluts to impress guys?

Slut

Why cant people show their sexuality freely, without worrying about being judged?

Lovely

In the Bill Of Rights, it says we have FREEDOM OF SPEECH! So why are we so afraid to speak up for ourselves?

I KNOW WHY!

Shh!

Evil


"Whores"

Plastics

"Geeks"

Losers

"Goths"

Darkness

"Emos"

andfadetoblack

AND THAT’S NOT EVEN HALF OF THEM!

Society in general

Earth

thetruth

IS THIS AMERICAN?

Child Abuse

IS THIS THE NATION FIGHT AND WE LIVE IN WARS TO SUPPORT?

Trapped

I AM SICK OF IT!
Stereotypes, and everything else.
I want to live in a good place, without suicide, rape, murder, and JUDGMENT!

Killing is wrong

IF THIS HAD ANY AFFECT ON YOU REPOST IT!


No, a ghost will not rape your dog.
You wont have relationship problems
No you won’t die in 7 days.
BUT you will have the guilt on your shoulders that you didn’t try to get the message across.
I want to stop the madness.
If I only reached out to 1 or 2 people that’s fine.
At least MY conscience is clear...HOW ABOUT YOURS?

--You have to click 'Reply To Poster', and then copy and paste in a different bulletin or you won’t get the whole bulletin…

The posting reads: “Chris Benoit was replaced by [Johnny Nitro] for the ECW Championship match at Vengeance, as Benoit was not there due to personal issues, stemming from the death of his wife Nancy.” According to a Wikipedia.org report published after FOXNews.com made inquiries, the edit was reversed just under one hour later with the comment: "Need a reliable source. Saying that his wife died is a pretty big statement, you need to back it up with something." The posting apparently was made in reference to Benoit's scheduled appearance on Sunday night at an Extreme Championship Wrestling event in Texas. An employee from Wikipedia.org told FOXNews.com that he called and left a message with investigative authorities in Fayetteville, Ga., at around 11 a.m. EDT on Tuesday, after the posting was brought to the attention of the St. Petersburg, Fla.-based Web site. “I chat with other editors on IRC — Internet relay chat — and somebody pointed it out to me on a relay chat and that it came from a Stamford connection, and that it took place at midnight Eastern Standard Time on Monday morning,” said Wikipedia.org volunteer coordinator Cary Bass. “I called and left a message with the police department.” The computer-generated time and date stamp of the Benoit entry are listed as 4:01, 25 June 2007. Wikipedia.org lists its entries according to Universal Time, also known as Greenwich Mean Time. Further investigation, according to Wikipedia.com, shows that one hour after the first edit reversion, another anonymous edit by 125.63.148.173 using unwiredAustralia.com.au, a wireless Internet service provider, was made adding about the aforementioned personal issues: "which according to several pro wrestling websites is attributed to the passing of Benoit's wife, Nancy." That edit was reverted less than 20 minutes later, with the following comment: "Saying 'several pro wrestling websites' is still not reliable information." The second edit was made by a computer in Australia from a wireless network, according to Wikipedia.org. A message left by FOXNews.com with Lt. Tommy Pope of the Fayette County Sheriff’s Department was not immediately returned. Investigators so far have ruled the Benoit killings as a double homicide-suicide. Wikipedia.org claims to be one of the largest reference Web sites, and is written collaboratively by users from around the world. Approved users can make submissions and change entries that are posted on the site almost immediately. Bass said the site is constantly monitored to correct inaccuracies. Bass said when there is a high-profile case, such as the Benoit killings, Wikipedia.org limits postings to registered users, which is now indicated at the top of the Benoit entry. According to the listed history on the Benoit entry, the computer used to post the 12:01 a.m. entry had a Stamford, Conn., Internet Protocol — or IP — address, a numeric designation that is assigned to every computer with an Internet connection, and that same address has been used to post about a dozen other messages on the site, dating back to May 16, 2007. In related news, FOXNews.com also has learned, through widely posted Web reports, that former pro wrestler Sherri Martel, who was found dead on June 15, was linked to former wrestler Kevin Sullivan — ex-husband of Nancy Benoit. Martel, who had a reputation as one of the top managers in pro wrestling, was found dead at her mother’s home in near Birmingham, Ala., on June 15. She was 49. Investigators, who have not yet determined Martel's cause of death, say foul play is not suspected but that Martel did not die of natural causes. The Associated Press contributed to this report.
A week to the day before pro wrestling wife Nancy Benoit was found murdered in her suburban Atlanta home, the body of former pro wrestler and manager Sherri Martel was discovered in her mother's Alabama home, the cause of death unknown. Martel, a pro wrestler in the WWE Hall of Fame who went by the ring name "Sensational Sherri," and who later managed the likes of "The Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase, Ric Flair and "Macho Man" Randy Savage, was found dead by her husband Robert Schrull at her mother's home in McCalla, Ala., on June 15, according to the Tuscaloosa News newspaper. Click here to read how Nancy Benoit's death was posted to the Internet hours before police found her body. Linking Martel to the deaths of Nancy and husband Chris Benoit and their son Daniel is former pro wrestler Kevin Sullivan, a man once married to Nancy Benoit and who also was Martel's friend and booker. Following World Wrestling Entertainment's announcement of Martel's death, wrestling Web sites quickly began speculating about case. Dave Metzler of Wrestling Observer Live told his audience that she did not die of natural causes, saying "this was not a typical wrestler's death," according to reports. But Capt. Loyd Baker of the Tuscaloosa County Metro Homicide Unit told the Tuscaloosa News that foul play was not suspected in her death. "The cause of death is pending her autopsy and toxicology report," he said June 19. An officer in the homicide unit told FOXNews.com that those results could take months to be finished. Martel began her career in the early 1980s and later went on to manage more than 15 wrestlers including Ric Flair and Jake "The Snake" Roberts. “Everyone respected her," said Bruce Mitchell, a columnist for the Pro Wrestling Torch newsletter and Web site, told the Tuscaloosa News. "She was an attractive lady, but she wasn’t just eye-candy. "She was really a pioneer and a trailblazer." One popular wrestling site, PWTorch.com, reports that Kevin Sullivan, then married to Nancy, tried to pair Martel with wrestler Ric Flair as part of a scripted Nicole Brown/O.J. Simpson ring drama, but that "work" was abandoned. PWTorch.com writes that in early 1996, Martel became involved in a strange "work" — or scripted — feud between Sullivan and wrestler Brian Pillman. The match reportedly got out of hand, and spilled into a backstage confrontation involving Martel and the then-Nancy Sullivan. Reports of the incident say that the argument escalated with Martel spitting on Nancy Sullivan. Martel reportedly was later fired. Several wrestling blogs reported that Martel had a drug problem and had entered a 21-day rehab program, but investigating police would not comment. PWTorch.com quoted her in 2005 saying, "I slip back every now and again, but I am trying my best." Kevin Sullivan, meanwhile, spoke earlier this week FOXNews.com, and expressed shock and sadness over the death of his former wife in her suburban Atlanta home. Sullivan married the former Nancy Daus in 1985. The couple was still married in the 1990s when a scripted rivalry between Benoit and Sullivan in the now-defunct World Championship Wrestling (WCW) resulted in Benoit as the victor on the mat. However, a real romance blossomed between Benoit and Nancy, who eventually split with Sullivan and married Benoit in 2000. From his home in Tavernier, Fla., in the Florida Keys, where he owns and runs a gym called Froggy’s Fitness with his wife, Linda, Sullivan said he had not spoken to his ex-wife since their split. He told FOXNews.com he learned of the grisly crime, which reportedly took place over several days, from television news on Monday evening. “It’s surreal,” said Sullivan, who did not have children with Nancy Benoit. “She was a nice person. We just went our separate ways. She was nice and very loving and I’m sure she was a good mother.” Sullivan said he did not know Benoit well outside the ring. “I never associated with him, so I really don’t know his personality,” he said. … “[But] I’m sad for all three, especially the child.”

Fear

After the circumstances surrounding Benoit's death were released, the only thing I could think of was my best friend. The rages have been getting worse- I've been told too many times the lie "ran into the wall, no biggie." But I know. Her boyfriend's a pill addict and very abusive- mentally usually more than physically. He's out of work, stays home with their son so they can save on daycare, and when I met him, was the coolest guy.... Yet when he got laid off his job due to a disability, he- changed. The pills became his escape and shortly turned him into a monster. Her brother has moved in with them- more for his reasons than any of this- so I have some peace of mind knowing he's there. Yet I made her promise NEVER to be alone with her boyfriend after yesterday- even told her "you have a key to my place- go there even if I'm not there if you have to." I have tried to get her to leave- given her solution after solution, number after number, even offered to have someone escort him by gunpoint to the nearest bus station. Yet the same thing: "once such-and-such happens he'll be okay." I do not understand. I have- visions..... Have told her about them.... Can only pray she heeds their warning. I have done all I can.

wtf?

Ok, went to wal-mart to do my shopping, pick up cigs, and they freakin CARD me!! I mean, I'm wearing NO make-up and have my hair stuffed in a black pageboy cap- so, all I could do is smile when they saw my ID and saw their expression upon realizing my age. Hee-hee! Anyhoo it is HOOOOOOOOOOT and HUUUUUUUMID so even after that short trip, I am getting in the bath and putting on my new Tinkerbell jammies and doin my nails while watching Pulp Fiction for the millionth time! Found some REALLY cool nail art that will be purrrrrrrfect with my black polish :) What's for dinner you ask? Purrrrrhaps a Royale avec fromage!! :p
But The Lakehouse was good. *sniff* Damn you Tonia....!

i am so dorky

well, i am editing previous blogs because i figured out if you use the same playlist over and over, just erasing the song, it UPDATES that playlist automatically. so, i've got missy elliot backing a dragon fight and that is just NOT gonna work. so..... if you see blogs you've seen before, chalk it up to me being not the most technologically proficient person on this site :p thanks for your patience- now back to your regularly scheduled blog....

How can a mother do this?

HUDSON OAKS, Texas - A young mother who may have been depressed apparently hanged three of her small daughters and herself in a closet using pieces of clothing and sashes, authorities said Tuesday. A fourth child, an 8-month-old daughter, was also found dangling in the closet but was rescued from the family's mobile home. "It's horrendous. That's all I can say," Parker County Sheriff Larry Fowler said. The woman was identified as Gilberta Estrada, 25. The infant, Evelyn Frayre, was in good condition at a hospital, Fowler said. Authorities did not immediately identify the other children, ages 5, 3 and 2. After Estrada failed to show up for work, her sister, who lived nearby, forced her way into the locked residence in the Oak Hills mobile home park, about 25 miles west of Fort Worth in this rural community of 1,600 people. The sheriff said the sister rescued the infant when she realized the baby girl was still alive. The sheriff said the hangings appeared to be murder-suicide because the trailer's doors were locked from the inside and a relative said the woman had been depressed. The young mother and her girls were last seen alive Monday evening, he said. The sheriff said Estrada had won a temporary restraining order in August against Gregorio Frayre Rodriguez, who was believed to be the father of the infant and some of the other children, after an attack on Estrada. The sheriff said Estrada and Rodriguez had stopped living together in February. Tuesday was the first emergency police call to Estrada's trailer, and authorities said there was no evidence that Rodriguez abused the girls. A telephone listing for Rodriguez could not immediately be located. "I just got a big kick out of watching the kids play over there on her porch, and today it's sad, very sad," neighbor Joyce Harris said as other trailer park residents milled about on their porches, some crying and talking softly about the deaths. Estrada's trailer was dilapidated, with paint peeling off the brown and white mobile home. Cactus plants and a rose bush decorated the front. Toys and a bicycle littered the back yard. Texas has seen a number of child killings by mothers in recent years. Less than five years earlier, another Hudson Oaks family was torn apart when Dee Etta Perez, 39, shot her three children, ages 4, 9 and 10, before killing herself. Andrea Yates drowned her five children in the family's Houston bathtub in 2001. In 2003, Deanna Laney beat her two young sons to death with stones in East Texas, and Lisa Ann Diaz drowned her daughters in a Plano bathtub. Dena Schlosser fatally severed her 10-month-old daughter's arms with a kitchen knife in 2004. All four of those women were found innocent by reason of insanity. Yates initially was convicted of capital murder, but that verdict was overturned on appeal. ___
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