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bigrob209's blog: "Jokes"

created on 05/01/2007  |  http://fubar.com/jokes/b78805
WORSE YET WIREDEST PICKUP LINES, JOKES AND POEMS SOME MIGHT WORK CHECK THEM OUT I like your style I like your class but most of all I like your ass I'm a cool girl, in a cool town it takes a real mother fucker to put me down Kissing is a habit Fucking is a game Guys get all the pleasure Girls get all the pain The guy says I love you You believe its true But when your tummy starts to swell, He says 'to hell with you' 10 minutes of pleasure 9 months in pain 3 days in hospital A baby without a name The baby is a bastard The mother is a whore This never wouldn't have happened If the rubber wouldn't have torn Guys are like roses, Watch out for the pricks. Smoke a smoke Not a butt Fuck a virgin Not a slut. Sex is bad Sex is a sin Sins are forgiven So stick it in. Holy mother, full of grace Bless my boyfriend's gorgeous face Bless his hair that tends to curl Keep him safe from all the girls Bless his arms that are so strong Keep his hands where they belong Bless his dick, the one i sucked Bless the bed, in which we fucked And if my Mom happened to walk in Bless the shit I'd be in. Sex is when a guys communication enters a girls information to increase the population for a younger generation do you get the information... or do you need a demonstration Men are like public toilets They are either engaged or full of shit! If guys had they periods They would compare the size of their tampons! Mental anxiety, Mental breakdowns, Menstrual cramps, Menopause... Did you ever notice how all our problems begin with MEN! Hearts and roses and kisses galore, What the hell is all of that shit for? People get mushy and start acting queer, It is definitely the most annoying day of the year. This day needs to get the hell over with and pass, Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid's ass! I'll spend the day so drunk that I just can't speak, And wear only black for the rest of the week. Guys act all sweet but it soon will fade, For all they are doing is trying to get laid. The arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hit, Because I think love is a big crock of shit! So here is my story, what else can I say? Love bites my ass... Fuck Valentine's Day! Roses are red, Violets are corny, When I think of you Ohhh baby I get horny, Eat me, Beat me, Bite me, Blow me, Suck me, Fuck me, Very slowly, if you kiss me, don't be sassy, Use your tongue and make it nasty! Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm in love but not with you... When we broke up you thought I cried But all it was... Was another guy, You told your friends that I was a trick, I told mine that you had a weak dick... I said I loved you And you thought it was true, But guess what baby?! You got played too!!

I used my head

I used my head Three guys made a competition to see who would make a girl scream louder in bed. The first one went in, meanwhile the other two stayed out and listened to the girl moan for a bit. The second one went in and the girl screamed a little bit harder. When the third one went in, the girl SCREAMED! and SCREAMED! About an hour later the girl came out moaning. The first guy asked "Wow, how did you do that?" The guy, all tired and wet replied "I simply used my head".

Care To Go Upstairs?

Care To Go Upstairs? A newlywed couple returned to their apartment after being on their honeymoon. "Care to go upstairs and do it?" the husband asked. "Shh!" said the bride "All the neighbors will know what we're about to do. These walls are paper thin. In the future, we'll have to ask each other in code. For example, how about asking, 'Have you left the washing machine door open' instead?" So, the following night, the husband asks, "I don't suppose you left the washing machine door open, did you?" "No, I definitely shut it," replied the wife who rolled over and fell asleep. When she woke up however, she was feeling a little frisky herself and she nudged her husband and said, "I think I did leave the washing machine door open after all. Would you like to do some washing?" "No, thanks," said the husband. "It was only a small load so I did it by hand."
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