Applegenie's blog: "Jokes"

17) "I CAN HAS DA NASTY WIT U?" 16) "Anonymity makes me even more handsome." 15) "Your *dot* has me anything but calm." 14) "Do you swear under penalty of perjury that you are neither employed in law enforcement nor by NBC?" 13) "Why don't you come down to my basement apartment in my mom's house and see me sometime?" 12) "I dunno. Do u *want* me 2 b 16?" 11) "I'm 13, really cute, and certainly not an undercover agent of any sort." 10) "i wud luv 2 get u ROF, even if u don't L." 9) "In cyberspace, no one can hear me scream your name." 8) "I've fully rebooted from my last relationship." 7) "Hey, my wife's going to be at some convention, any chance you could hitch a ride to Chappaqua next week?" 6) "If I said you had a beautiful port replicator, would you hold it against your camera?" 5) "My AIM says IM the one for you." 4) "My name is Misty, and I speak Klingon." 3) "I had to drop out of college because the $250,000,000 software company I started in my dorm room was taking up too much of my time. Can I buy you a PC?" 2) "Do u like me? Text '1' for 'Yes,' '2' for 'No.'" and the Number 1 Bad Internet Pickup Line... 1) "Hey wait, are you an FBI agent? Because that's even hotter." Courtesey top5.com

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. 'We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!!' The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.' The agent said, 'Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home.' The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came out with tears in his eyes, 'I tried, but I can't kill my wife.' The agent said, 'You don't have what it takes. Take your wife home.' Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. 'This gun is loaded with blanks' she said. 'I had to beat him to death with the chair.' MORAL: Women are crazy. Don't mess with them.