WHT Q VG K KG's blog: "i want a cowboy"

i ask myself is it worth what you put yourself through all the time just to be happy with the person you love but he does not love you back . tell yourself that and think . hummmmmmmmm i feel my life would not be nothing it i did not have you in it . so come on baby open your doors to your heart and let me in . so we can share are love together and become one life and be happy for the rest of are lifes . and are heart are to stay open at all time .. as the kids grow older are love is still growning deep in love . done by christine

MY BLOOD BOILING CAN’T KEEP THE TEMPER IN TACT THE PAIN CREATED IT THE PEOPLE FEEL IT TAKES OVER MY MIND, MY HEART, MY EYES SOMETIMES I ASK THE QUESTION, WHY WHY PEOPLE LIKE TO MESS WITH MY HEART AND MIND THEN THEY WANT PATIENCE AND TIME FORGET YOU FOR THAT YOU PLAYED WITH MY MIND LIFE HAS BEEN FULL OF STRUGGLES OF ALL KIND BETWEEN FAMILY AND FRIENDS I WISH NO ONE KNEW I WAS ALIVE THEREFORE, SUFFERING WOULDN’T BE AT THE TOP OF MY MIND 'CAUSE AT THE DROP OF THE DIME, TIME IS UP FOR MY LIFE YOU SEE, I DRIVE MYSELF SO SERIOUSLY INSANE THAT WHEN IT'S TIME FOR ME TO REACT, I BLOW UP IN A CRAZE SOME MAY SAY I’M PARANOID SOME MAY SAY I’M CRAZED BUT IF YOU REALLY KNOW ME, I’M A lady GOIN’ INSANE I KNOW THIS SOUNDS CRAZY I KNOW I SOUND WILD BUT IF YOU LOOK IN MY EYES YOU’LL SEE TIME IS RUNNING OUT THE LIFE I’VE BEEN HOLDING IS A LIFE FULL OF LIES I SHOW EVERYONE WHAT'S NOT THERE I SHOW A LIFE THAT’S NOT MINE I JUST WANT TO RELAX FORGET IT ALL OVER TIME BUT APPARENTLY MY EYES ARE GOING BLIND YOU SEE, I THOUGHT I KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING WITH THIS LIFE OF MINE BUT ALL ALONG I WAS A CONFUSED SOUL WITH NO PLACE TO HIDE I BLINDED MYSELF TO REALITY AND TRUE LIFE AND NOW LOOK AT THE CONSEQUENCES I LOST MY TIME SO, TIMES UP; I WASTED A GOOD LIFE NOW WHAT AM I TO DO IF I CAN’T EVEN PROVIDE PROVIDE THE LOVE, THE MIND, THE LIFE WITH A SMILE IT'S ALL BEEN A WASTE A SOUL WITH NO LIFE done by christine

You might be on a redneck fire department if... Your department has ever had two emergency vehicles pulled over for drag racing on the way to the scene. You have naked lady mud flaps on your pumper. Your firehouse has wheels. You've ever gotten back and found out you locked yourselves out of the firehouse. Fire training consists of everyone standing around a fire gettin' drunk. You've ever been toned out on an outhouse fire. That outhouse fire was with entrapment. You've ever let a person's house burn down because they wouldn't let you hunt on their ground. At least one vehicle in the firehouse still has decorations on it from the Halloween Parade and it's January. Your personnel vehicle has more lights on it than your house has lights in it. You don't own a Dalmation, but you do have a coon dog named Sparky. You've ever walked through a christmas display and came up with more than 3 new ideas for a light scheme for your truck. Your rescue truck can smoke the tires. Your department's name is misspelled on the equipment. Your engine had to be towed in the last Christmas Parade. Dispatch can't mention your name without laughing. The local news crew won't put your department on TV because you embarassed them last time. You've ever referred to a light bar as sexy. Your defib consists of a pair of jumper cables, a marine battery, and a fish finder. You've ever taken a girl on a date in a pumper. Your pumper has been on fire more times than it has been to a fire. Your pumper smokes more than the house fire. The only time the trucks leave the station is on bingo night. Your apparatus has carbon monoxide detectors mounted in the cab. You return from a fire with more junk than you arrived with. The Chief's car has a rag for a gas cap. You have tobacco spit stains on the side off your engines this is for all the fire fighters .

To Be In Love Although I have gone beyond right or wrong I have gone to what is pure and real. With every breath I breathe, it tightens At the beauty of knowing what it feels like To be in love. And, although the pain of being away from you Is so overwhelmingly hard to bare I have felt love, I have held you, I have touched you With a touch that can only be felt Or given with entire intensity As the touch I've given to you, and the touch You shared with me. A thousand feelings engross me. Feelings that are indescribable, yet, so fiercely strong, And ruling to my very essence. Should I have? I can ask myself that a million times. Should I have met you? I thought that meeting you would free my Desire for you But it has only amplified the deepest love That comes from within me, for you. And yet, with all this love I feel inside There is also a hidden sadness, A sadness that promises no one tomorrow, That leaves your heart open With amazing clarity of want But closed to know if it will ever be Reunited again. So with this I must tell you That I have loved you As I have never loved another. I have shared not just my body But who it is I am. And no matter where our lives take us You and I have been to a place that... Is ours forever. To be in love done by christine

Mike you need to read this one . There are no stars tonight But those of memory . Yet how much room for memory there is In the loose girdle of soft rain. There is even room emough For the letters of my mother's mother, Clara, That have been pressed so long Into a corner of the roof That they are brown and soft, And liable to melt as snow. Over the greatness of such space Steps must be gentle. It is all hung by an invisible whit hair . It trembles as birch limbs webbing the air. And I ask myself: "Are your fingers long enough to play Old keys that are but echoes: Is the silence strong enough To carry back the music to its source And back to you again As though to her?" Yet I would lead my grandmother by the hand Through much of what she would not understand; And so I stumble. And the rain continues on the roof With such a sound of getly pitying laughter. done by christine

What should I do, When I love two? When I am with one, for the other I long, I can't find a place for my heart to belong. You promised that you would always stay, But now you have gone away. Your love to me was as clear as a bell, You promised that I'd always be your Angel. We used to love each other so very much, but you were blinded by another girl's touch. But now I have found someone new, And he loves me like you used to do. And now you say I am right for you, but with only half my heart do I love you. Now I must choose between both of you, I am so confused, I don't know what to do. What should I do, When I love two? The first thing I think of When I think of you, Is your wonderful smile. The second would be your adorable laugh. I could go on and on, But the list would never end. When I think of the short time That we've been together And of all of the happy memories we've already shared It amazes me to no end And I know that we were meant to be together. I look at you and see overflowing love, hope, and joy As well as charm, strength, happiness and dignity. With all of these wonderful qualities It's no wonder I love you so. I have these feelings, deep inside feelings that I have to hide I don't know if he feels that way too And I don't know what to do When we're together, I feel uptight When he's around I feel so right I dream about what we can do And all the things we can pursue I yearn just to feel his touch And when he leaves, I miss him so much I want to feel his lips against mine And feel our bodies intertwine So for now I'll love him from afar One day I'll express how special you are So until then I will retain this rush And until then I'll contain my crush. Did you ever fall in love with someone, But know they didn't care? Did you ever feel like crying, But know you'd get nowhere? Did you ever look into their eyes, And say a little prayer? Did you ever look into their hearts, And wish that you were there? Did you ever see them walk away, you see them turn and go, And whisper "God I love you, " But never let them know? You'll cry cut to misery and almost go insane 'Cause there's nothing in this world that causes so much pain. If I could choose between love or death, I think I'd rather die, 'Cause love is great, yet hurts so much, And the price to pay is high. So when I say don't fall in love, You'll be hurt before it's through, Believe me 'cause I fell in love with you. I look in the mirror and I see, A person who never stops crying A person that is not me A person that hurts A person in pain A person who lost it A person who is insane A person that worries All day and all night A person who is scared A person in fright A person I don't like A person I don't want to be A person who knows - You will never love me. done by christine .

If I should die tonight in my sleep No one would miss me, no one would care, And if I should slit my wrists with a knife There'd be a party, a gala, a fair. If tomorrow the world were to end And I were to die With my hand on my heart I would say, "Fuck you world and have a nice day." No one cares about the child gone wrong, The little kid sat in the corner I still hurt and I feel pain Even more than you could ever imagine. But one day I hope to find someone To love me and treat me like gold Until the day that happens I struggle through life getting old. done by christine

As you and I walk in the snow holding hands. Watching the kids play in the snow . As we started to play with them in the snow . throwing snowballs at one other getting cold together Then we look at one other are lips touch one other in a kiss . as are eyes meet in the snow i tell you that i love you so much . then you take my hand and say to me lets go home. so you started to run home with my hand to your hand . then you pick me up and in to the warmth of are home . you start the fire and i make the hot coca with the topping . as we cuddle to the fire . as you hold me in your arms . as i looking in to your eyes and tell you that i love you . and smile at you on a cold winters day .. done by christine

how to express whats deep in my head to know what to write so that it is read not sure of emotions or feelings to feel not sure what is online or just what is real trained to believe its a text or a lie the feelings on here sent just to die a fantasy or dream not real but just fake to not be felt anymore click the x then awake looking for real and truth to explore knowing out there there has to be more someone who knows me can see thru my soul someone who trusts i just want to be whole how do you ignore what is so plain to see can you let go and not have it be to know in your mind what you see is for you but not be able to take it and just live it thru restrictions and limits due to a modem and cam distance and doubt hide all that iam to thine own self be true the rest it will come til then its is online internet i come from so look at my cam and read all of my text and then close the box moving on to the next but remember one thing as you shut this shit down iam not a computer iam real and am sound