Man i don't know why i always let this stuff happen to me. I'm finally getting my life under control and i just go and screw everything up. I need to just calm down and let things fall into place instead of trying to force a square into a circle.
Ok so i recently ended a four year relationship and that was bad enough. now it's only been like 5 weeks since we ended it and i'm already having feelings for someone else. (that makes me feel horrible in it's self.) and he's at a stage in his life where he doesn't want to become attached to any one becuase he's got a LOT of shit going on right now. i'm trying to be understanding and be there for him as a friend cause we've known each other for years now but it's so hard to do that when i have feelings of more then just friendship towards him. He is completely aware of my feelings for him. and he knows i would do anything for him and i feel like he's taking advatage of that. but i'm too afraid to say anything to him cause i don't want to ruin what we have. even if it isn't healthy.
This is causeing problems in other aspects of my life like with my mom. She doesn't like him from when we were good friends back in high school, and is trying to keep me away from him. which in all honesty she prolly should. he really isn't the best person for me to be with. especially when he has his own problems. and i have a couple other friends that used to be friends with him and they don't get along anymore from stuff that happened way back in highschool as well. so now they are avoiding me, and when we do see each other they say little to nothing to me and deny any accusations i make. This is just really hard on me and i'm stressin out over it. i guess i'm makin a mountine out of a mole hill. I just need to give it time and not try to force it like i said before. It's really important to me that we are friends because i care so much about him. But it bothers me that my other friends are being childish about it.
