coloringhumans's blog: "I don't want to dream."

     Where does Love go?

When two people (a Couple) call it quits and throw in the towell.

     Where does Love go?

Love itself is everlasting. So Love never goes away. Human emotions

make it seem as if Love has indeed gone away.

     By masking Love with hurt and anger, these two emotions can

make even the strongest of Loves seem as if it has fled.

     The Couple:

Cut to the core by hurt and blinded by anger, go their seperate ways.

     Where does Love go?

     Love the hidden, is split in two and goes with each person. As the

feelings of hurt and anger subside. Love that was hidden appears, and

finds that it has been split and seperated from itself. Each of the two

people feel the loss that Love is experiencing, wanting, yearning to be

reunited with the other half of itself.

     Pride and stubborness cause the two people to remain apart. Love

the most determined of the human emotions. Pokes and prods the heart

to forgive and thus be reunited .

     The one thing Love has no control over, is a god given traight in all

 of the human race. That being Freewill. The right to forgive or remain

bitter. Love - or matters of the heart, seldom in this instance. Both of the

people lose.

     LOVE realizes that it is to remain seperated from itself, and banks the

fire. Cooling to embers, it will lie dormant. Until Love is found again. Or untill

the person/ persons die, with that death Love will die also....

     Where does Love go?

                                                    Kenny

Ya know? That in our times of hurt and suffering ; At least in the times that I am experiencing, there is a beauty inside of the pain, that stays hidden from view, untill when the pain is so deep, that it has cut you to the very core of your being. This beauty that was hidden, rises from the wound and acts like a balm to the soul. Weather in words, or in art. The pain is flushed from the open wound, taking with it; all the vile, and repulsiveness of what was originally hurting you. I don't care what others think when I say this: But LOVE Sucks. Why as humans do we have to suffer these feelings ? I see alot of other people that do just fine without it. Or so they say. Are those the people that end up old and alone sitting on the park benches feeding pigeons bread crumbs? Feeble, withered, sitting in a wheel chair, in some unknown resthome looking out the window, waiting for someone to showup that never will. Because of having given up on Love. There are no children, or grandchildren, not even a spouse or life parnter. All that remains- A bitter resentful person, waiting to die. Wondering what it was in his .. her life that caused such emotional pain, that it was worth being alone into eternity. WHY? Where did the days of youth go? Spent working all hours of the day, so as to be able to put to rest the agony of the love gone wrong. Untill finally alone you end up. Sitting in the wheel chair. Waiting, for someone to show up that never will. A deep saddness envelopes the soul. Anguish stored up through all the years, escapes as a cry from your lips. A tear, from the corner of your eye runs slowly down your cheek. Your mind reaches back in time, to a different era when Love had flowed like a mighty river through your soul. To a young man and woman, just starting out on a journey with life together. Talk of children and a future. Happiness. And then on a fatefull day betrayal. It doesn't matter male or female. What happened, was enough for a spirit to completely give up on the thing called LOVE. A heart withered to a dry husk, thorn bushes grew, walls were erected, signs posted: No Trespassing, Keep Out, No Solicitors. God wasn't even allowed. A person, another human being. Became an outcast, because they blamed the wrong thing in their pain. LOVE was blamed. If it weren't for love I would not feel this way, my life would still be as it was, if it weren't for this stuff called love. Who needs it......With that the person removed all signs, feelings and emotions relating to the dreaded thing called Love from their life and destroyed what life they had remaining. Sitting in a wheelchair. Waiting for someone who will never come. Waiting alone to die.......... Now if that doesn't give you something to go HMMMmm. about. While I was writting this; so man thoughts ran through my mind. I know that I wrote Love Sucks. I am still of that opinion. It does Suck. But would I really want to end up like the person above. HHHhhEEEEEeeeeLLLLLLLllllll NO! I actually Like being in love with someone and all the feelings associated with it. I could go for days about all the plus things there are with being in love. But once you have experienced it, ya kinda get addicted to it. Love may suck in the bad times. but in the good times it fucking Rocks. I want the farie tale again. I want the romance I want the feeling of being In LOVE with a woman again. The risk is well worth it. AHHHh well. WTF Ladies beware. SMILES FROM THE HEART AND PEACE OUT. KENNY

Category: Life It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for,and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive. It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain,mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstacy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful,to be realistic,to remember the limitations of being human. It doesnt interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from it's presence. I want to know if you can live with failure,yours and mine,and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon,"YES!" It doesn't interest me where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children. It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Saying Goodbye...... How do you say goodbye? To all the people you Love. To all of the friends, that have shared your life, and made you feel complete. How do you tell them? From the first moment, you felt their spirit touch yours. They have meant the world to you, and how large a part of your life they were. Will they know the depth of your love for them? Will you still feel my love when I am gone? I pray that you will. Yet, how do I say goodbye? The journey, I am taking is for me alone. I will carry with me the Love I have received from all of you. It will sustain me in my darkest hour. I'm not leaving you forever, I'm just going on ahead. Carry me inside your heart, then I really won't be gone. Then when you take your journey, I'll be waiting at the end of the trail for you. Remember all the happy times, and of the joy that we have shared. Even if it was a small amount, it was a universe to me. If you find that you need me, just think of me, I'll be there. Feel my gentle touch, a soft cool breeze may caress your face, that's me from up above. I Love you all. With all my heart. How much you'll never know. So I won't be saying that cold closed word. Instead it's till we meet again. Kenny

Giving up.... I've reached out to you, and I touched your soul.The inner sanctom that was your own; became mine. You chose to share that special place with me, as I did with you. Was it real ? Or once again ;did I chase a dream, only to be alone when I woke once more. The days are endless when one travels alone in this world. Dreading the night , for once more I must sleep. The pain returns as I see you again. Because I know that in this dream, though you are here now;when I wake you will be gone. In my sleep I wither. Becoming a husk of the person I should be. Because all that I've given is gone. My cup lays empty on the table. The tears stain my pillow where my head lies as I sleep, as I woke, in the last moments of my dream. You turned your back and walked once more from my life. My heart torn from it's resting place. The pain of loss. The sorrow, of having known that it would indeed end. Vestiges of hope, now lay in a heap at my doors opening. Fluttering, like a books pages left to long untended. Cursed is the day. That love is tossed out with the daily trash. 1,000,000 heartaches. I can try no more. The Farie' Tale has ended. Such sadness, clouds blot the blue sky, making the world even less friendly, forbodding and dark. From the fire of my pain. One day. When the ashes have finally given their last bit of heat up to the universe. I pray that hope. Like a flower in the spring, will break through the buried heart of earth, and burst once more in my life. To Love once again. Setting the stage..................... For another dissapointment ? Kenny