Texas Tramp Stamp's blog: "Hum...its time"

Well, life is GREAT, what can I say? I've got a great guy in my life (FINALLY) that just adores me. This is the best feeling. It's been along time coming. Alot of crap has happened in the past year and I really need a good end of the year. My love life has been, umm-well, for the best words-EXHAUSTING for both me and everyone that has been in my life. Between Misty and Lois, those two poor girls have been thru hell and back (and they are both married! Thank goodness for single friends girls--we keep you on your toes!) I am so ready to settle down and just let this man love me so much that I can't even think about my past. It's just so not worth it. I have been really thinking about all of the crap that I've been allowing into my life---so many negative things. I think I forgot about what I wanted out of my life. Just to be able to raise great kids, have a man that LOVES me, and have a life that makes me think that I'm the luckiest woman on the earth to be able to wake up everyday! Anyone who really really knows me, can tell you about my life. It's been kinda crappy but I have alot of faith that God is blessing me with the people in my life. He puts them there and I decide who to keep in it. I'm so thankful for my kids, my friends, my Joshy Poo, and my family-even though I really don't care to be around most of them....I still wouldn't be who I am, without each of them touching my heart and teaching me something different. I've learned alot of lessons from my friends--Misty and Lois--YES! I DO learn something from you each time you tell me "Wanda, don't do that!" "Wanda, that's a bad idea!" "Wanda, your getting in over your head, you won't be able to swim!"--YES ladies, I DO listen to you, but I have to learn it all by myself---Wanda is STUBBORN--and you both know that. That is what makes me be me and what makes you both love me so much! I can't even let you know how much you mean to me, but I really do try! Well....I'm ending this.....I am saying a prayer for my family, friends and for my personal situation. I know if this is God's will then it WILL happen! I love you all and thanks for being there for me!

Well....I think I'm officially screwed up. Just when I think I know where my life is going and I take a leap it comes back and shows itself that it maybe wasn't the right thing. I mean, hell....when you want to be with someone and you think they want to be with you, then what is the problem. There SHOULDN'T be one. Two people come together, they see if it can work--usually both of them know after a few short days if it will be a go or not. I feel like an idiot when I jump into things that I think are so right and how could they not be, because it seemed all the puzzle pieces were fitting together. Well....I'll say right now, that my puzzle pieces are scattered all over the state of Texas and I'm going to have to either get them together soon or just throw the whole damn thing away. I do know officially remember why I try to keep myself so guarded--just so that I don't get hurt. I've walked the line with a man that I was truly in love with, gave him two beautiful children and still told him to tear his ass--there was the door. And since that time, seems like I've been doing that alot. I mean FUCK, how hard can it possibly be to find a man that loves me--doesn't just say it, but shows it too. One that wants to wake up to me by his side, one that wants to go to bed with me by his side. One that when I'm watching a movie, wants me to put my head on his chest, just so he can play with my hair and have me close. That isn't too much to ask, but funny, I guess I can't find it. And yes, I'm a good person. I go outta my way to make sure my friends/family have whatever they need. So I guess for right now, there isn't much that I can do about anything. Decisions, decisions, decisions. Someone has to make them and then figure out what and where I'm going to do from here. I know that God doesn't give you more than you can handle, but right now, gesh, I feel like superwoman with everything that is going on. I'm ready for life to slow down!

You know...love is such a fucked up thing.....its odd how you think that you find someone that is just great for you and for some ODD reason, it just doesn't work out....I tell my friends that I got thru men as often as I do underwear, but I just don't get it! Maybe I'm alittle too picky when it comes to what I want, but is there really anything wrong with that? Hell, marriage one sucked and I didn't want any of that every again....One of the last guys I dated, things were okay for a few weeks..then it was all over....there wasn't any time for me to say..oh my gosh..what happened..NOR did I want too..he was outta my life and YES...I was on to the next guy....Hum..just seems that maybe I've had things alittle fucked up in my mind...but good news for me..I think I'm all straight on it..and its time to settle down.....WOOHOO! Go me! HAHA...now lets see just how long that really lasts and see if I can find a guy that can truely make me HAPPY! Ready or not..here I come! MUAH!