Jinxd's blog: "How Random Can I Get ?"

Got a call today from my 13 yr. old, seems she got a letter from Duke University. They have a program that searches for gifted and talented children all over America and they offer courses,workshops, and resources for them. They are offering to give her the ACT test because she scored so high on the TAKS test. Needless to say, I am MOST impressed with my daughter and how frikkin smart she is and her dedication to her education. The test won't be until after the Christmas holidays so I have plenty of time to prepare myself for having a teenager that is smarter than I am in the house. This is just too cool, I was smiling from ear to ear when she was reading the letter to me, I have big hopes for her as she gets older and starts to figure out what she wants to do with her life. She is an awesome kid, I just wish I could do more for her right now. I know one thing for sure, no matter WHAT it takes, she IS going to college. I don't care what she wants to study, as long as she lives up to her potential I will be the happiest mom on the planet. I love you DayDay !!!

My mind is a tortue device. I trap myself with my own thoughts and fears. They keep me prisoner here in the dark . I do not share my feelings easily, they have been suppressed too long . I want to help others but I cannot help myself . Thoughts of wanting to die, waiting for it, plannning for it over and over. Wanting it's release. I don't want to feel anymore. I want to be released of love, hate, anger, fear, anxiety, guilt . They have a hold on me , my true self . Will I ever find someone who will dig deep, beyond all that and find who I really am ? I want to have the eyes of a child for just one more day, to see things with hope again . To be loved unconditionally, to have someone love me because of my faults, not in spite of them . Do not pity me, I am speaking my truth for nobody to hear.

You wander around the graveyard of my soul and look at all the pretty stones there But you never stop to read any of them to see what has passed The stones lie flat and broken all around you Nobody is there to put them right again , or to care for them To clean off the dirt and polish them to like new again They are crumbling to dust The letters upon them are faded and hard to read But they are there if you care to look My self esteem lays to the right My dignity to the left My compassion is straight ahead The stone for Love is no longer there It was removed long ago when it was destroyed by a careless vandal There was nothing but a pile of rubble when he was done It will be a long wait for it to be replaced I refuse to let another stone be placed here My graveyard will grow no more

Dark house, dark lonely grave, Within your walls under Yew boughs There is quiet sleep, And not a trace of care But deep forgetting on a man's being falls... There is nothing , not a creature calls Unless those fragile airs That stirs the little leaves, Say something to the secret mound Of many burials... Dark house, your hours have never known The hurry and the passion of our days. Within that heart of stone Love never beat, nor hate could live. Nothing at all is left, Unless in that damp cell The dead may have a dream he cannot tell..

Little Johnny Badass's neighbors had a baby.Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When mother and baby came home from the hospital,Johnny's family was invited over to see the baby.Before they left their house,Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.His dad also told him that if he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears he would get the spanking of his life when they came back home.Little Johnny told his dad he understood completely.When Johnny looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby." The mother said, "Why,thank you,Little Johnny." Johnny said, "He has such tiny hands,a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see well?" asked Little Johnny."Yes," the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision." "That's great," said Little Johnny,"cuz he'd be shit outta luck if he needed glasses."