Stacey's blog: "Grimms Fairytales"

I will tell you something. I saw two roasted fowls flying, they flew quickly and had their breasts turned to heaven and their backs to hell, and an anvil and a mill-stone swam across the rhine prettily, slowly, and gently, and a frog sat on the ice at whitsuntide and ate a ploughshare. Three fellows who wanted to catch a hare, went on crutches and stilts, one of them was deaf, the second blind, the third dumb, and the fourth could not stir a step. Do you want to know how it was done. First, the blind man saw the hare running across the field, the dumb one called to the lame one, and the lame one seized it by the neck. There were certain men who wished to sail on dry land, and they set their sails in the wind, and sailed away over great fields. Then they sailed over a high mountain, and there they were miserably drowned. A crab was chasing a hare which was running away at full speed, and high up on the roof lay a cow which had climbed up there. In that country the flies are as big as the goats are here. Open the window that the lies may fly out.

In the time of Schlauraffen I went forth and saw Rome and the lateran hanging by a small silken thread, and a man without feet who outran a swift horse, and a keen sharp sword that cut through a bridge. I saw a young ass with a silver nose which pursued two fleet hares, and a lime-tree that was very large, on which hot cakes were growing. I saw a lean old goat which carried about a hundred cart-loads of fat on his body, and sixty loads of salt. Have I not told enough lies. I saw a plough ploughing without horse or cow, and a child of one year threw four millstones from Ratisbon to Treves, and from Treves to Strasburg, and a hawk swam over the rhine, which he had a perfect right to do. I heard some fishes begin to make such a disturbance with each other, that it resounded as far as heaven, and sweet honey flowed like water from a deep valley to the top of a high mountain, and these were strange things. There were two crows which were mowing a meadow, and I saw two gnats building a bridge, and two doves tore a wolf to pieces, two children brought forth two kids, and two frogs threshed corn together. I saw two mice consecrating a bishop, and two cats scratching out a bear's tongue. Then a snail came running up and killed two furious lions. There stood a barber and shaved a woman's beard off, and two sucking-children bade their mother hold her tongue. There I saw two greyhounds which brought a mill out of the water, and a broken-down old horse was beside it, and said it was right. And four horses were standing in the yard threshing corn with all their might, and two goats were heating the stove, and a red cow shot the bread into the oven. Then a hen crowed, cock-a-doodle-doo. The story is all told, cock-a-doodle-doo.

There was once on a time a maiden who was pretty, but idle and negligent. When she had to spin she was so out of temper that if there was a little knot in the flax, she at once pulled out a whole heap of it, and strewed it about on the ground beside her. Now she had a servant who was industrious, and gathered together the bits of flax which were thrown away, cleaned them, spun them fine, and had a beautiful gown made out of them for herself. A young man had wooed the lazy girl, and the wedding was to take place. On the eve of the wedding, the industrious one was dancing merrily about in her pretty dress, and the bride said, ah, how that girl does jump about, dressed in my hurds. The bridegroom heard that, and asked the bride what she meant by it. Then she told him that the girl was wearing a dress made of the flax which she had thrown away. When the bridegroom heard that, and saw how idle she was, and how industrious the poor girl was, he gave her up and went to the other, and chose her as his wife.

There was once an old woman, but you have surely seen an old woman go a-begging before now. This woman begged likewise, and when she got anything she said, may God reward you. The beggar-woman came to a door, and there by the fire a friendly rogue of a boy was standing warming himself. The boy said kindly to the poor old woman as she was standing shivering thus by the door, come, old mother, and warm yourself. She came in, but stood too near the fire, so that her old rags began to burn, and she was not aware of it. The boy stood and saw that, but he ought to have put the flames out. Is it not true that he ought to have put them out. And if he had not any water, then he should have wept all the water in his body out of his eyes, and that would have supplied two pretty streams with which to extinguish them.

There was once a sorcerer who was standing in the midst of a great crowd of people performing his wonders. He had a cock brought in, which lifted a heavy beam and carried it as if it were light as a feather. But a girl was present who had just found a four-leaved clover, and had thus become so wise that no deception could stand out against her, and she saw that the beam was nothing but a straw. So she cried, you people, do you not see that it is a straw that the cock is carrying, and no beam. Immediately the enchantment vanished, and the people saw what it was, and drove the magician away in shame and disgrace. He, however, full of inward anger, said, I will soon revenge myself. After some time the girl's wedding-day came, and she was decked out, and went in a great procession over the fields to the place where the church was. All at once she came to a stream which was very much swollen, and there was no bridge and no plank to cross it. Then the bride nimbly took her clothes up, and wanted to wade through it. And just as she was thus standing in the water, a man, and it was the sorcerer, cried mockingly close beside her, aha. Where are your eyes that you take that for water. Then her eyes were opened, and she saw that she was standing with her clothes lifted up in the middle of a field that was blue with the flowers of blue flax. Then all the people saw it likewise, and chased her away with ridicule and laughter.

The Lord God had created all animals, and had chosen out the wolf to be his dog, but he had forgotten the goat. Then the devil made ready and began to create also, and created goats with fine long tails. Now when they went to pasture, they generally remained caught in the hedges by their tails, whereupon the devil had to go and disentangle them, with a great deal of trouble. This enraged him at last, and he went and bit off the tail of every goat, as may be seen to this day by the stump. Then he let them go to pasture alone, but it came to pass that the Lord God perceived how at one time they gnawed away at a fruitful tree, at another injured the noble vines, or destroyed other tender plants. This distressed him, so that in his goodness and mercy he summoned his wolves, who soon tore in pieces the goats that went there. When the devil observed this, he went before the Lord and said, your creatures have destroyed mine. The Lord answered, why did you create things to do harm. The devil said, I was compelled to do it, inasmuch as my thoughts run on evil. What I create can have no other nature, and you must pay me heavy damages. I will pay you as soon as the oak leaves fall, come then, your money will then be ready counted out. When the oak-leaves had fallen, the devil came and demanded what was due to him. But the Lord said, in the church of constantinople stands a tall oaktree which still has all its leaves. With raging and curses, the devil departed, and went to seek the oak, wandered in the wilderness for six months before he found it, and when he returned, all the oaks had in the meantime covered themselves again with green leaves. Then he had to forfeit his indemnity, and in his rage he put out the eyes of all the remaining goats, and put his own in instead. This is why all goats have devil's eyes, and their tails bitten off, and why he likes to assume their shape.

A peasant had a faithful horse which had grown old and could do no more work, so his master would no longer give him anything to eat and said, I can certainly make no more use of you, but still I mean well by you, if you prove yourself still strong enough to bring me a lion here, I will maintain you, but now take yourself away out of my stable. And with that he chased him into the open country. The horse was sad, and went to the forest to seek a little protection there from the weather. Then the fox met him and said, why do you hang your head so, and go about all alone. Alas, replied the horse, avarice and fidelity do not dwell together in one house. My master has forgotten what services I have performed for him for so many years, and because I can no longer plough well, he will give me no more food, and has driven me out. Without giving you a chance, asked the fox. The chance was a bad one. He said, if I were still strong enough to bring him a lion, he would keep me, but he well knows that I cannot do that. The fox said, I will help you, just lay yourself down, stretch yourself out as if you were dead, and do not stir. The horse did as the fox desired, and the fox went to the lion, who had his den not far off, and said, a dead horse is lying outside there, just come with me, you can have a rich meal. The lion went with him, and when they were both standing by the horse the fox said, after all, it is not very convenient for you here - I tell you what - I will fasten it to you by the tail, and then you can drag it into your cave, and devour it in peace. This advice pleased the lion, he lay down, and in order that the fox might tie the horse fast to him, he kept quite quiet. But the fox tied the lion's legs together with the horse's tail, and twisted and fastened all so well and so strongly that no strength could break it. When he had finished his work, he tapped the horse on the shoulder and said, pull, white horse, pull. Then up sprang the horse at once, and drew the lion away with him. The lion began to roar so that all the birds in the forest flew out in terror, but the horse let him roar, and drew him and dragged him over the country to his master's door. When the master saw the lion, he was of a better mind, and said to the horse, you shall stay with me and fare well, and he gave him plenty to eat until he died.

There were once three apprentices, who had agreed to keep always together while traveling, and always to work in the same town. At one time, however, their masters had no more work to give them, so that at last they were in rags, and had nothing to live on. Then one of them said, what shall we do. We cannot stay here any longer, we will travel once more, and if we do not find any work in the town we go to, we will arrange with the innkeeper there, that we are to write and tell him where we are staying, so that we can always have news of each other, and then we will separate. And that seemed best to the others also. They went forth, and met on the way a richly-dressed man who asked who they were. We are apprentices looking for work. Up to this time we have kept together, but if we cannot find anything to do we are going to separate. There is no need for that, said the man, if you will do what I tell you, you shall not want for gold or for work. Nay, you shall become great lords, and drive in your carriages. One of them said, if our souls and salvation be not endangered, we will certainly do it. They will not, replied the man, I have no claim on you. One of the others, however, had looked at his feet, and when he saw a horse's foot and a man's foot, he did not want to have anything to do with him. Then the devil said, be easy, I have no designs on you, but on another soul, which is half my own already, and whose measure shall but run full. As they were now secure, they consented, and the devil told them what he wanted. The first was to answer, all three of us, to every question. The second was to say, for money, and the third, and quite right too. They were always to say this, one after the other, but they were not to say one word more, and if they disobeyed this order, all their money would disappear at once, but so long as they observed it, their pockets would always be full. As a beginning, he at once gave them as much as they could carry, and told them to go to such and such an inn when they got to the town. They went to it, and the innkeeper came to meet them, and asked if they wished for anything to eat. The first replied, all three of us. Yes, said the host, that is what I mean. The second said, for money. Of course, said the host. The third said, and quite right too. Certainly it is right, said the host. Good meat and drink were now brought to them, and they were well waited on. After the dinner came the payment, and the innkeeper gave the bill to the one who said, all three of us, the second said, for money, and the third, and quite right too. Indeed it is right, said the host, all three pay, and without money I can give nothing. They, however, paid even more than he had asked. The lodgers, who were looking on, said, these people must be mad. Yes, indeed they are, said the host, they are not very wise. So they stayed some time in the inn, and said nothing else but, all three of us, for money, and and quite right too. But they saw and knew all that was going on. It so happened that a great merchant came with a large sum of money, and said, sir host, take care of my money for me, here are three crazy apprentices who might steal it from me. The host did as he was asked. As he was carrying the trunk into his room, he felt that it was heavy with gold. Thereupon he gave the three apprentices a lodging below, but the merchant received a separate apartment upstairs. When it was midnight, and the host thought that all were asleep, he came with his wife, and they had an axe and struck the rich merchant dead. And after they had murdered him they went to bed again. When it was day there was a great outcry. The merchant lay dead in bed bathed in blood. All the guests came running out, but the host said, the three crazy apprentices have done this. The lodgers confirmed it, and said, it can have been no one else. The innkeeper, however, had them called, and said to them, have you killed the merchant. All three of us, said the first. For money, said the second. And the third added, and quite right too. There now, you hear, said the host, they confess it themselves. They were taken to prison, therefore, and were to be tried. When they saw that things were going so seriously, they were after all afraid, but at night the devil came and said, bear it just one day longer, and do not spurn your luck, not one hair of your head shall be hurt. The next morning they were led to the bar, and the judge said, are you the murderers. All three of us. Why did you kill the merchant. For money. You wicked wretches, you have no horror of your sins. And quite right too. They have confessed, and are still stubborn, said the judge, lead them to death instantly. So they were taken out, and the host had to go with them into the circle. When they were taken hold of by the executioner's men, and were just going to be led up to the scaffold where the hangman was standing with naked sword, a coach drawn by four chestnut horses came up suddenly, driving so fast that fire flashed from the stones, and someone made signs from the window with a white handkerchief. Then said the hangman, it is a pardon coming, and pardon, pardon, was called from the carriage also. Then the devil stepped out as a very noble gentleman, beautifully dressed, and said, you three are innocent. You may now speak, make known what you have seen and heard. Then said the eldest, we did not kill the merchant, the murderer is standing there in the circle, and he pointed to the innkeeper. In proof of this, go into his cellar, where many others whom he has killed are still hanging. Then the judge sent the executioner's men thither, and they found it was as the apprentices said, and when they had informed the judge of this, he caused the innkeeper to be led up, and his head was cut off. Then said the devil to the three, now I have got the soul which I wanted to have, and you are free, and have money for the rest of your lives.

Seven swabians were once together. The first was Master Schulz, the second, Jackli, the third, Marli, the fourth, Jergli, the fifth, Michal, the sixth, Hans, the seventh, Veitli. All seven had made up their minds to travel about the world to seek adventures and perform great deeds. But in order that they might go in safety and with arms in their hands, they thought it would be advisable that they should have one solitary, but very strong, and very long spear made for them. This spear all seven of them took in their hands at once. In front walked the boldest and bravest, and that was Master Schulz. All the others followed in a row, and Veitli was the last. Then it came to pass one day in the hay month, when they had walked a long distance, and still had a long way to go before they reached the village where they were to pass the night, that as they were in a meadow in the twilight a great beetle or hornet flew by them from behind a bush, and hummed in a menacing manner. Master Schulz was so terrified that he all but dropped the spear, and a cold sweat broke out over his whole body. Hark, hark, cried he to his comrades, good heavens. I hear a drum. Jackli, who was behind him holding the spear, and into whose nose some smell had risen, said, something is most certainly going on, for I smell the powder and the match. At these words Master Schulz began to take to flight, and in a trice jumped over a hedge, but as he just happened to jump on to the teeth of a rake which had been left lying there after the hay-making, the handle of it struck against his face and gave him a tremendous blow. O dear. O dear, screamed Master Schulz. Take me prisoner, I surrender, I surrender. The other six all leapt over, one on the top of the other, crying, if you surrender, I surrender too. If you surrender, I surrender too. At length, as no enemy was there to bind and take them away, they saw that they had been mistaken, and in order that the story might not be known, and they be treated as fools and ridiculed, they all swore to each other to hold their peace about it until one of them should speak of it by mistake. Then they journeyed onwards. The second danger which they survived cannot be compared with the first. Some days afterwards, their path led them through a fallow-field where a hare was sitting sleeping in the sun. Her ears were standing straight up, and her great glassy eyes were wide open. All of them were alarmed at the sight of the horrible wild beast, and they consulted together as to what it would be the least dangerous to do. For if they were to run away, they knew that the monster would pursue and swallow them whole. So they said, we must go through a great and dangerous struggle. Boldly ventured, is half won, and all seven grasped the spear, Master Schulz in front, and veitli behind. Master Schulz was always trying to keep the spear back, but veitli had become quite brave while behind, and wanted to dash forward and cried, strike home, in every swabian's name, or else I wish you may be lame. But Hans knew how to meet this, and said, thunder and lightning, it's fine to prate, but for dragon-hunting you are always late. Michal cried, nothing is missing, not even a hair, be sure the devil himself is there. Then it was Jergli's turn, and he said, if it be not he, it's at least his mother, or else the devil's own step-brother. And now Marli had a bright thought, and said to Veitli, advance, Veitli, advance, advance, and I behind will hold the lance. Veitli, however, did not obey, and Jackli said, tis Schulz's place the first to be, no one deserves that honor but he. Then Master Schulz plucked up his courage, and said, gravely, then let us boldly advance to the fight, thus we shall show our valor and might. Hereupon they all together set on the dragon. Master Schulz crossed himself and prayed for God's assistance, but as all this was of no avail, and he was getting nearer and nearer to the enemy, he screamed, oho, oho, ho, ho, ho, in the greatest anguish. This awakened the hare, which in great alarm darted swiftly away. When Master Schulz saw her thus flying from the field of battle, he cried in his joy, quick, Veitli, quick, look there, look there, the monster's nothing but a hare. But the swabian allies went in search of further adventures, and came to the moselle, a mossy, quiet, deep river, over which there are few bridges, and which in many places people have to cross in boats. As the seven swabians did not know this, they called to a man who was working on the opposite side of the river, to know how people contrived to get across. The distance and their way of speaking made the man unable to understand what they wanted, and he said, what, what, in the way people speak in the neighborhood of treves. Master Schulz thought he was saying, wade, wade through the water, and as he was the first, began to set out and went into the moselle. It was not long before he sank in the mud and the deep waves which drove against him, but his hat was blown on the opposite shore by the wind, and a frog sat down beside it, and croaked, wat, wat, wat. The other six on the opposite side heard that, and said, oho, comrades, Master Schulz is calling us. If he can wade across, why cannot we. So they all jumped into the water together in a great hurry, and were drowned, and thus one frog took the lives of all six of them, and not one of the swabian allies ever reached home again.

Three army surgeons who thought they knew their art perfectly were traveling about the world, and they came to an inn where they wanted to pass the night. The host asked whence they came, and whither they were going. We are roaming about the world and practising our art. Show me just once what you can do, said the host. Then the first said he would cut off his hand, and put it on again early next morning. The second said he would tear out his heart, and replace it next morning. The third said he would gouge out his eyes and heal them again next morning. If you can do that, said the innkeeper, you have learnt everything. They, however, had a salve, with which they rubbed themselves, which joined parts together, and they constantly carried with them the little bottle in which it was. Then they cut the hand, heart and eyes from their bodies as they had said they would, and laid them all together on a plate, and gave it to the innkeeper. The innkeeper gave it to a servant-girl who was to set it in the cupboard, and take good care of it. Secretly, however, the girl had a lover, who was a soldier. When therefore the innkeeper, the three army surgeons, and everyone else in the house were asleep, the soldier came and wanted something to eat. The girl opened the cupboard and brought him some food, and in her love forgot to shut the cupboard-door again. She seated herself at the table by her lover, and they chatted away together. While she sat so contentedly there, thinking of no ill luck, the cat came creeping in, found the cupboard open, took the hand and heart and eyes of the three army surgeons, and ran off with them. When the soldier had done eating, and the girl was taking away the things and going to shut the cupboard, she saw that the plate which the innkeeper had given her to take care of, was empty. Then she said in a fright to her lover, ah, miserable girl, what shall I do. The hand is gone, the heart and the eyes are gone too, what will become of me in the morning. Be easy, said he, I will help you out of your trouble. There is a thief hanging outside on the gallows, I will cut off his hand. Which hand was it. The right one. Then the girl gave him a sharp knife, and he went and cut the poor sinner's right hand off, and brought it to her. After this he caught the cat and gouged its eyes out, and now nothing but the heart was missing. Have you not been slaughtering, and are not the dead pigs in the cellar, said he. Yes, said the girl. That's fine, said the soldier, and he went down and fetched a pig's heart. The girl placed all together on the plate, and put it in the cupboard, and when after this her lover took leave of her, she went quietly to bed. In the morning when the three army surgeons got up, they told the girl she was to bring them the plate on which the hand, heart, and eyes were lying. Then she brought it out of the cupboard, and the first fixed the thief's hand on and smeared it with his salve, and it promptly grew to his arm. The second took the cat's eyes and put them in his own head. The third fixed the pig's heart firm in the place where his own had been, and the innkeeper stood by, admired their skill, and said he had never yet seen such a thing as that done, and would sing their praises and recommend them to everyone. Then they paid their bill, and traveled further. As they were on their way, the one with the pig's heart did not stay with them at all, but wherever there was a corner he ran to it, and rooted about in it with his nose as pigs do. The others wanted to hold him back by the tail of his coat, but that did no good. He tore himself loose, and ran wherever the dirt was deepest. The second also behaved very strangely. He rubbed his eyes, and said to the others, comrades, what has happened. These are not my eyes. I don't see at all. Will one of you lead me, so that I do not fall. Then with difficulty they traveled on till evening, when they reached another inn. They went into the bar together, and there at a table in the corner sat a rich man counting money. The one with the thief's hand walked round about him, made a few jerky movements with his arm, and at last when the stranger turned away, snatched at the pile of money, and took a handful from it. One of them saw this, and said, comrade, what are you about. You must not steal, shame on you. Eh, said he, but what can I do. My hand twitches, and I am forced to snatch things whether I will or not. After this, they lay down to sleep, and while they were lying there it was so dark that no one could see his own hand. All at once the one with the cat's eyes awoke, aroused the others, and said, brothers, just look up, do you see the white mice running about there. The two sat up, but could see nothing. Then said he, things are not right with us, we have not got back again what is ours. We must return to the innkeeper, he has deceived us. So they went back the next morning, and told the host they had not received what was their own, that the first had a thief's hand, the second cat's eyes, and the third a pig's heart. The innkeeper said that the girl must be to blame for that, and was going to call her, but when she had seen the three coming, she had run out by the backdoor, and not come back. Then the three said he must give them a great deal of money, or they would set the red cock on his roof. - The symbol of a red cock for fire is of remote antiquity. - He gave them what he had, and whatever he could raise, and the three went away with it. It was enough for the rest of their lives, but they would rather have had their own rightful organs.