Love is such a powerful word. Tearing down walls to get to my heart and in just an instant love can break my heart into millions of pieces.
On the outside I'm so secure, I've got it all together and I know exactly what I want. On the inside I'm lost and lonely, crying myself to sleep, I listen and speak vulgar languages trying to deny my own self.
Looking in the mirror I see every scar, the flaws jump out at me, my eyes crooked, my nose too big, they say theres a surgery for that but I'm not made of money or else I'd be green, like some little alien.
It seems to me that while I lust for this one in particular guy the one I really want comes home soon. He's been away in a war, now he's coming home, it's not love, but rather a lust of how much I can see myself jumping in his arms, being with him, just talking with him about everything.
My current boyfriend would kill me, he's overly jealous, accused me of cheating on him when I gave my stepbrother a hug, hates it when I hang out with my best friend when me and her ride the quads or shoot pool. He thinks that every time me and her are together that we go "boyfriend" shopping. But being with him makes everyone else happy so maybe I should be lonely and unhappy because I hate disappointing people, especially my mom.
Every morning I wake up with a tear stained pillow.
