GRANDMA IN COURT
>
>
> Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't
> prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting
> attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the
> stand.
>
> He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
>
> She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you
> since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big
> disappointment to me.
> You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk
> about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you
> haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more
> than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
>
> The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
> the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She
> again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
> youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He
> can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is
> one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
> wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know
> him."
>
> The defense attorney almost died. The judge asked both counsellors to
> approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, "If either of you
> idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to the electric chair."
