Well you read about my daughter. It was a really great trip. The thing was that was the first time we have seen each other since she was a baby. Even though we have been talking on the phone, e-mails and chatting online, you would expect that first meeting after so many years to be akward. but it wasn't we clicked, It was fantastic. It was like we had been together almost every day of her life. That was really amazing, I wasn't expecting that, but sure glad it worked out that way. The guilt I have felt all those years for not being in my kids lives was gone for a while (I know it wasn't my fault I wasn't in their lives but I felt guilty all the same).
Now here is the problem. Since she has left I feel a bit depressed still. The guilt is back, I expected that for a day or so, but now it has been over 3 days. I just want to sleep all the time. Dealing with a constant headache. Don't feel like getting online, or talking to anyone, don't feel like doing my school work, which I have to do, because I have let myself get behind.
Now we all deal with depression at one time or another. For some it is just a medical condition. but not for me. I have always been able to shake it off. My number one cure has always been to force myself to do something physical. Well I have tried that and it works for maybe 30 minutes. It isn't like I will never see her again. I will within the year that is for sure, one way or another. We are still talking all the time.
I guess this feeling will fade in a few more days, and I will be ok. but I just wanted to get it off my chest.
