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Good Bye

morning is a requiem to tranquillity, in his bedroom cathedral of cruel light pain stalks awareness like a cat leaps, claws nerves cant move, nailed to the cross of another day get out of bed gets half way I must I cant, falls back and cries, lays back and sighs fumbles under his pillow for an antidote of memories, stories and photographs, theres one when he could walk hear, see a world more than intersecting walls tries to get up from, trapped, in the paralysis between vertical and horizontal more than photographs cant nailed to the cross of a another day today, like any day gets out of bed has to ... gets half way gets .... half ... way cant remembers ... when he was a soldier an officer, the Polish cavalry re-wrote Cervantes a thousand don quixotes their horses crushed by German tanks a thousand unknown soldiers seeds in furrows of blood their memory flowers in his eye shot he fell somehow survived, a prisoner of war, then refugee selling bootleg vodka and stolen cigarettes reading gogol by candlelight dead souls, playing jazz ... ah, ... it all falls through a hole ... getting old is getting more holes in your head for more of you to fall through but sunlight is irresistible even through eyes shut against pain, through near deaf ears hears carillon birdsong, unfolds the impenetrable mystery of hope unfurls his heart, arms open he greets his son, grandson beloved granddaughter they never age... my wife is beautiful, smiles, remembers, children, beauty, love, immortality is impermanence, like music the next note will always preserve what has gone before, what will be ... gets half way remembers ... his trumpet, piano, jazz at the Trocadero Monk, the Duke, Cool sits up doesnt fall the next step finds the rhythm, gets up must find that trumpet and blow he will ... music, like children seeds of our immortality, fruit of memories. walking now, with feet of clouds a smile crescendo, now a laugh, fades into light and silence, a receding shadow, a last goodbye ©KinkyScreams 2005
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