JeaniePromoterWalk on the WILDSIDEHE IS's blog: "FRIEND"

ADAM SANDLER LYRICS When I'm feeling down And feeling sad You come around And make me glad I got you Oh, my little chicken I love your feet I love your breasts I love the way you eat gravel To help you digest Oh, my little chicken People say you're using me In your heart you're a killer But I know the worst I should fear is A slight case of salmonella So lie right back Don't you cry If an egg can fit in there Why can't I.....mmmmmmm Oh my little Bawk, Bawk, Bawk, Bawk Bawk, Bawk, Bawk, Bawk Bawk, Bawk, Bawk, Bawking Bawk, Bawk, Bawk, Bawking Bawk You're my love My little chicken likes To wear garter belts

ADAM SANDLER LYRICS [Phone Rings] [Mr. Spindel picks it up] [Mr Spindel:] "Hullo!" [Student: Whispering] "Hey Mr. Spindel. How's algebra class going?" [Chuckling] [Mr Spindel:] "Whut!?" [Student: Whispering] "You're in for a big surprise tommorrow during 5th period!" [Chuckling] [Mr Spindel:] "Hey! Who is this!" [Student Hangs up phone] [Dial tone] [Mr Spindel:] "Hullo!" [Dial tone] [Mr Spindel:] "Hullo!" [Dial tone] [Mr Spindel:] "Who is this!?" [Dial tone] [Mr Spindel:] "Hullo!" [Dial tone] [Mr Spindel:] "Answer me!" [Dial tone] [Mr Spindel:] "Who is this!?" [Dial tone] [Mr Spindel:] "Hullo!" [Dial tone] [Mr Spindel:] "For God's sake! Who are you!?" [Dial tone] [Mr Spindel:] "Hullo!" [Dial tone] [Mr Spindel:] "Hullo!" [Dial tone] [Operator recording playing "If you'd like to make a call..."] [Mr Spindel:] "Who is that!?" [Recording continues] [Mr Spindel:] "Hullo!" [Recording continues] [Mr Spindel:] "Who are you!?" [Recording continues] [Mr Spindel:] "Please answer me!" [Silence] [Bleeping noise] [Mr Spindel:] "Oh God! Who is this!?" [Bleeping] [Mr Spindel:] "Please stop it! Why are you doing this!?" [Bleeping] [Mr Spindel:] "WHY!? WHY!?" [Bleeping] [Mr Spindel:] "Just tell me your name." [Bleeping] [Mr Spindel:] "Please." [Bleeping] [Mr Spindel:] "I'm gonna hang up!" [Bleeping] [Mr Spindel:] "I'm warning you!" [Bleeping] [Mr Spindel:] "Hullo!" [Bleeping] [Mr Spindel:] "Whoever this is, I'm gonna hang up!" [Bleeping] [Mr Spindel:] "That's it!" [Bleeping] [Mr Spindel:] "Damn you kids!!" [Bleeping] [Mr Spindel:] "Damn you!!" [Slams down phone] [Phone rings] [Mr. Spindel picks it up] [Mr Spindel:] "Hullo?" [Ted:] "Yeah, Bill." [Mr Spindel:] "Oh, TED!" [Ted:] "I've been trying to get through to you forever. Who have you been talking to?" [Mr Spindel:] "I don't know. So help me God! I don't know!"

ADAM SANDLER LYRICS I'm sitting in my chair watching the TV It's not even on but there's plenty for me to see I just lit some crazy ass shit that my friend overnight mailed to me I'm fucking wasted It's the best shit I ever tasted I think they fucking laced it Cause I'm so damn lambasted Oh my friend came over so I packed him a pipe I told him he better go easy with this shit but he didn't believe the hype He sparked three bows just to show he could take it Two minutes later he was playing backgammon naked He's fucking wasted It's the best shit he ever tasted He's lost in fucking spaced-ed Cause he's so wicked wicked wasted Oh I spent the last two hours hiding under my bed Cause I looked in the garbage can and I think I saw my Uncle Louie's head I'm fucking wasted Well my friend blew a hit into my pet bird's face The bird laughed hysterically and started to moonwalk all over the place He tripped over the toaster wire and fell on his beak He looked at the two of us and he started to speak I'm fucking wasted It's the best shit I've ever tasted My brain's been erased-ed Well fucking fried I'm sitting in the bathtub wanting something to eat I wanted a pizza the bird said Pepperoni would be sweet Delivery guy showed up four hours later, handed me his shoe I said we ordered pizza buddy, what the hell's up with you I'm fucking wasted It's the best shit I ever fucking tasted Oh fucking shit I'm way too baked

ADAM SANDLER LYRICS Schnine He's a pretty good guy He's nice to his neighbors You can count on him to buy your school candy bars He's a real nic guy He's always got the jumper cables He'll take your mail in when you're on vacation He's a good-hearted man Volunteers at the library He'll help you find a book on whales He's a thoughtfull man Rememers your birthday Says God bless you when you sneeze But there's a problem It's not your average problem But it's a pretty big problem His hobby is moyda His hobby is moyda He'll eat a hamboyga Then commit moyda He's a friendly guy He waves to all the joggers Children use his backyard as a short-cut He's a real sweet guy He always recycles Referees the Junior High basketball for no pay He's a great, great man He'll sign your petition Then proceed to compliment your new haircut But there's a problem It's not your average problem But it's a pretty big problem His hobby is moyda His hobby is moyda South of the boyda He's wanted for moyda Here he comes Hey Larry, how ya doing? How's the garden coming? You know, it's interesting I just read at the library That you need to rotate the soil To get real plump, read tomatoes Oh, and one more thing My hobby is moyda Two, three, four I'm a sick man My hobby is moyda My hobby is moyda I'll eat a hamboyga Then commit moyda [Chanting] I never loiter After committing the doity deed of moyda Only Sigmund Freuda Knows why I cannot and will not stop committing moyda Murder, murder, murder, murder, murder

ADAM SANDLER LYRICS Mama was the one who reached down and tied my shoelace. Mama spit on her fingers and used it to clean dirt off my face. Brush your teeth, Q-tip your ear, take off your sister's new brassiere. Watch PBS, not Deputy Dawg, don't you eat that Lincoln Log. Oh mama I still don't believe it's true: The tooth fairy was you. No Way! I love you maaaaaama, more than than paaaastrama, way more than Jeffrey Daaaahma, even more than my NFL paaaaajamas. Mama always calmed down dad when he got too mean. Like the time he almost hit me for stealing his Juggs magazine. Stop your jumping, you'll break the bed. Don't you fill up on the bread. Take those Take those (trying to read cue card) Take ... carrots out of your nose, that's not a hat that's pantyhose. Don't play baseball in your suit, that Magnum PI's very cute. Don't forget Vick's Vapor-rub, stop masturbating in the tub. Thanks for making corn beef hash, and putting powder on my rash. (So much better.) I love you maaaaaama, more than golf with Arnold Paaaaalmaaaa, more than yellow moons in Lucky Chaaaaamaaaas, Def Leppard's drummer only had one aaaaaaamaaa. Oh, Mrs. Nealon, yes it's true, Kevin's gonna sing to you. Come on Kevin. I love you maaaaaama Come on, keep goin'. More than films by Brian DePaaaaalmaaaa. Thanks for being my date to the praaaaamaaaa. Thanks for writing that note to the draft board that said I was gay so I got out of Vietnaaaamaaa. Mom your way better than the World Trade Center baaaaamaaaa. Who's name by the way is Mohamed Salaaaamaaa. I love you even more than Richard Gere loves the Dali Laaaaahmaaa. And Richard Gere was also good in "Sommersby", which was a melodraaaamaa. Oh, all you moms out there oughta know, we kids love you so. Have a Happy Mother's Day. Thank you very much! Thank you! Adam Saaaandlaaa.

ADAM SANDLER LYRICS [M1:] "Hey, it's great to have us all out on a road trip again this is gonna be fun" [all agree] [M2:] "Whoa,do you smell that skunk" [All:] "Yeah [M2:] "You know, even though it stinks it kinda reminds me of growing up" [all agree] [M3:] "It kinda reminds me of smelling weed" [all agree] [M1:] "Hey, it reminds me of smelling a pussy" [all agree] [M2:] "It reminds me of smelling an ass" [all agree] [M4:] "It reminds me of smelling a 60 year old guys ass" [car screeches, he drops out of the car] [M4:] "Hey, screw you guys I am who I am deal with it" [M1:] "I'm glad we got rid of him his was a wierdo" [M3:] "Oh my God, that was a little out there, hey check out a water slide, man, those things always remind me of my 13th birthday party, remember that" [all agree] [M1:] "Hey, it reminds me of that girl I met last year who was a lifegaurd at one of those things, she was unbelievable" [all agree] [M2:] "Hey, it reminds me of that rich girl I went out with and when her dad went out of town we fooled around in his jucuzzi" [all agree] [M3:] "It also reminds me of the time I saw a 60 year old guy slide down one of those things and he was going so fast his bathing suit fell off, and I just stood there at his big beutiful hairy balls flopping around, holy geez I wanted to lick em'" [car screeches he drops out of it] [M3:] "I hate you guys, you tricked me into sayin' that" [M2:] "I always knew that guy was a little wierd" [M1:] "Hey, there's a pizza place it smells awesome" [M2:] "It reminds me of the time I used to work in a pizza place" [M1:] "It reminds me of my first date with this girl named Ginger, I took her to a pizza place" [M2:] "Hey, it also reminds me of the time I ate a slice of pizza, and then went over to a 60 year old man's house and made him fuck me in the ass in front of his kids" [car screeches, he drops out of it] [M2: "Hey don't get all hitey mitey he wanted me to do it" [M1:] "Man they were all crazy, hey, what's that" [Cow:] "Moo" [M1:] "Oh my god, ahhhhhhhhhhh" [car chrashes] "Hey that last skit was written for a reason, if any of your buddy's have fooled around with a 60 year old man, don't throw them out of your car, or you will die, now enjoy the rest of the album."

ADAM SANDLER LYRICS Put your arms around me babe, Can't you see I need you so? Hold me close against your skin, 'Cause I'm about to begin Lovin' you. Spit on your hand and stroke my cock at a medium pace. Play with my balls and tell me how big they are. Honey rub your beaver up and down my face. Now sit on the corner of the bed and watch me whack off. You see that shampoo bottle? Now, stick it up my ass. Push it in and out at a medium pace. Talk about your old boyfriend's dick and how big it was. Now shave off my pubs and punch me in the face. Darling, make me push my dick and balls back between my legs. Call me an ugly woman and take my picture to show all the people you work with. Now pull up my scrotum and take that shampoo bottle out of my ass. Pretend I'm the pizza delivery guy and watch me whack off. Strap on a dildo and make me give you head. Now tell me slow down and do it at a medium pace. I feel so humiliated. I'm about to blow my load. You tell it's time to make love but I can't 'cuz I spewed all over myself. Then you look into my eyes, then you realize How much I enjoy loving you. oh. I'm so sorry I spunked all over my stomach. Maybe next time I'll be better at loving you.

ADAM SANDLER LYRICS "This is a song..." "This is uhh, This is a new song..." "It's through the eyes of one of the greatest people alive, I feel..." "The Lunchlady" [Laughing] Woke up in the morning Put on my new plastic glove Served some reheated salisbury steak With a little slice of love Got no clue what the chicken pot pie is made of Just know everything's doing fine Down here in Lunchlady Land Well I wear this net on my head 'Cause my red hair is fallin' out I wear these brown orthopedic shoes 'Cause I got a bad case of the gout I know you want seconds on the corndogs But there's no reason to shout Everybody gets enough food Down here in Lunchlady Land Well yesterday's meatloaf is today's sloppy joes And my breath reeks of tuna And there's lots of black hairs coming out of my nose In Lunchlady Land your dreams come true Clouds made of carrots and peas Mountains built of shepherds pie And rivers made of macaroni and cheese But don't forget to return your trays And try to ignore my gum disease No student can escape the magic of Lunchlady Land Hoagies & grinders, hoagies & grinders Hoagies & grinders, hoagies & grinders Navy beans, navy beans, navy beans Hoagies & grinders, hoagies & grinders Navy beans, navy beans Meatloaf sandwich sloppy joe, slop, sloppy joe sloppy joe, slop, sloppy joe sloppy joe, slop, sloppy joe sloppy joe, slop, sloppy joe Well I dreamt one morning That I woke up to see All the pepperoni pizza Was a-looking at me It screamed, why do you burn me And serve me up cold I said I got the spatula Just do what you're told Then the liver & onions Started joining the fight And the chocolate pudding Pushed me with all its might And the chop suey slapped me And it kicked me in the head It's called revenge Lunchlady Said the garlic bread I said what did I do To make you all so mad They said you got flabby arms And your breath is bad Then the green beans said You better run and hide But then my friend sloppy joe came And joined my side He said if it wasn't for the Lunchlady The kids wouldn't eatcha You should be shakin' her hand And sayin' please to meet ya She gives you a purpose And she gives you a goal You should be kissin' her feet And kissin' her mole Now all the angry foods Just leave me alone And we all live together In a happy home Thanks to sloppy joe, slop, sloppy joe sloppy joe, slop, sloppy joe sloppy joe, slop, sloppy joe sloppy joe, slop, sloppy joe [Spoken] Well me & sloppy joe got married We got six kids and we're doing' just fine Down in Lunchlady Land

ADAM SANDLER LYRICS Where's my Peggy Sue? I could use a Rosalita If there's a Long Tall Sally out there I'm dyin' to meet her Why can't I hear Beth callin' me? Why can't I be the one to make Sara smile? I wish I was arm in arm with Jean genie Walkin' down the aisle Oh yeah, all right But I got no Mary Jane There's no Sloopy or Dancin' Queen I'm just a fool in the rain Waitin' on my Billie Jean I want an Angie, a Mandy, a Candy-O A devil in a dress of blue A Rosanna, Diana, a sweet Caroline I'd even take a Run-Around Sue Oh yeah, all right Well, I never got to scream for a Layla I never saw Mary-Anne walkin' away I never danced on the sand with a Rio Or woke up with a Maggie May I dialed 867-5309 But there was no Jenny Jenny Oh, why can't I get myself a brown-eyed girl When Willie Nelson loved so many? And why does Jack have Diane? And why does Billy Joe have Bobbie Sue? And everybody had Roxanne Except you-know-who I want an Angie, a Mandy, a Candy-O A devil in a dress of blue A Rosanna, Diana, a sweet Caroline I'd even take a Run-Around Sue Well I'd take any ol' Suzy Q I got no reason to be picky She can be a Goody-Goody-Two-Shoes Or she can be my Darling Nikki Oh, Brandy would be such a fine girl And so would the sweet Judy Blue I guess I sound just like that other fella 'Cause you know I wish I had Jessie's girl too Oh yeah, all right Well, I'd die for a kiss from Allison Even though I know she'd break my heart Or give me a Lo-lo-lo-lola Minus the extra part I want an Angie, a Mandy, a Candy-O A devil in a dress of blue A Rosanna, Diana, a sweet Caroline I'd even take a Run-Around Sue You know I'd even take a Run-Around Sue Well, I'd even take a Run-Around Sue Oh yeah, all right

ADAM SANDLER LYRICS [Sounds of Basketball being shot around] [Sandler:] "Hey man, I'm joining a religious cult." [Allen:] "Now, that's ridiculous." [Sandler:] "Well, I'm joining it, so you gotta sign up too." [Allen:] "What are you talking about?" [Sandler:] "Hey, don't fuck me on this, man, just sign up." [Allen:] "No, I'm not going to join a cult!" [Sandler:] "I can't believe you're pulling this shit on me after Monday night --" [Allen:] "What? [Sandler:] "-- I wanted to watch Monday Night Football and you wanted to watch that other show and we watched your show -- I did that for you!" [Allen:] "Yeah, well, you kept flippin' back to the game." [Sandler:] "I WANTED TO SEE THE FUCKIN' SCORE! Whadda you gotta do that's so fucking importnat you can't join the religious cult with me?" [Allen:] "Well, I was gonna go sunbathing." [Sandler:] "Oh, boy, no no, I don't think you should do that. Because this guy, Russell -- he's the leader-guy of the cult --" [Allen:] "-- yeah --" [Sandler:] "-- he was rambling on during one of the speeches about the sun being bad, like the beast can't come out because the sun's too bright and the sun hurts his eyes or something -- you show up all sunburned and that guy's gonna get pissed at you and me!" [Allen:] "Well, I'm not in the cult, so I don't have to worry about pissing the leader guy off!" [Sandler:] "Look, I'm -- starting to believe in some of the stuff the cult guy's been saying -- some of it makes a lot of sense! [Allen:] "Well, good, but I don't want to join the cult. We can still hang out; I just won't be in it with you." [Sandler:] "The point is, I'm not gonna have time to hang out with you because I'm gonna be fuckin' busy with this fuckin' cult!" [Allen:] "So I'll visit on weekends -- we'll work it out." [Sandler:] "No, the weekends are like the busiest time -- that's when we go to flea malls and fuckin' malls and talk people into joining, man!" [Allen:] "Can I join for just a little while? I told my dad I'd go visit him in Florida in three weeks." [Sandler:] "Well, just, we'll ask then, but we gotta join now." [Allen:] "What's the hurry?" [Sandler:] "There's a girl I wanna meet there, what the fuck's your problem?" [Allen:] "Well, I mean I don't really have to believe in this stuff, do I?" [Sandler:] "No, no, just fuckin' tell everybody you believe in this shit -- when they say the sun sucks, go, "Yeah, fuck the sun, I fuckin' hate it too, long live the fuckin' beast." [Allen:] "I don't know, man. This is crazy." [Sandler:] "Look, they're gonna give you clothers, a free haircut, you're gonna get food --" [Allen:] "-- it's not gonna be one of those weird haircuts, is it?" [Sandler:] "It's gonna be a haircut, all right? You said you need a haircut, they're gonna fuckin' cut your hair. You're going in, saving twelve bucks, just fuckin' do it!" [Allen:] "Do you think the hot girl has a friend for me?" [Sandler:] "Yeah, sure, and if she doesn't, she'll go out and recruit one for you!" [Allen:] "Well, all right. But, hey, if I don't like it, I'm going to escape, man." [Sandler:] "OK, that's up to you." [Three weeks later!] [Chanting repeatedly] "The night time is the right time! The night time is the right time!" [Sandler:] "Hey buddy, are you glad you did this?" [Allen:] "Oh, this is the best thing I ever did. Thank you." [Sandler:] "You're not mad at them making you, uh, kill your father, are you?" [Allen:] "You know, it's like they said. It was the only way to save him." [Sandler:] "You're a good guy." [Allen:] "You're a better one." [Chanting resumes]