Freak's blog: "Freak Thoughts"

This new error is just annoying and beyond frustrating. I don't get even the why it's come into place. Why worry about slowing down how fast people rate? Why not focus more on the people using script programs to cheat? It's just very annoying when you're trying to rate all of a friend's pics. Yes I understand you can just click through the "rating too fast, sorry ignored" error BUT then you have to click back to the pic that was ignored. Then you have to hope and pray you don't get that error AGAIN. There are times I've had to try and rate a pic FOUR times for it to not give me that error. I've sat there and let the entire page load, I've slowly moved the cursor to click and still get the error. I've tried all sorts of things. Clicking the next picture box instead of clicking the pic itself to go to the next pic. Still get the error a lot. There are brief times it will seem to work almost like it used to. I can rate 20-40 pics without that error. And then suddenly while rating the SAME SPEED I can get that error every other pic. What's the point of VIPs being able to rate twice as much now when it takes you pretty much an entire day to do that. This site used to be a lot of fun. Come on here, rate away and really be able to help a friend out (or myself) in a short period of time. But now it's more of a frustration then anything else. And for me it starts to make me go...well why bother spending money on something that annoys and frustrates me?? The other reason this frustrates me is because there are plenty of days where you have numerous friends that are running autos. So now it's almost like you have to select only one to try and rate or you rate less of each person's pictures. Usually changes are supposed to be for the good...this one isn't. And oh if you ask support...you just get told..."If you having a problem rating photos.. slow down and let the page load fully.. if you keep getting the bouncer check.. clear your catche, cookies and temp files and restart your browser..."

I know I've wrote about this guy in here before. I'm friends with his cousin and that's kind of how I got to know him on another site. We talked a lot, flirted a lot and really were hitting it off. So it got to the point where a few times a bunch of us were going out. Which is normal from those of us who know each other on this other site. Every now and then we'd go to a bar and party and hang out. A few of those times he was supposed to show up. The first time he supposedly did show up, got so drunk because he was nervous to meet me and hadn't eaten all day and stuff that his friend who came with him had to take him home. Another time he ended up getting into some trouble. Then another time I had left because it was about 1 in the morning and I guess he must have showed up probably not even 20 minutes after I left. Then yet another time him and his buddies got caught up with playing beer pong and stuff and ended up being too drunk to drive to the bar everyone was at. And now on facebook I get a friend request. I didn't recognize the last name but then I clicked and I see his pic asking if I remember him and he knows that he sucks. It's almost like why?? We've texted and it's never happened. For a while he avoided it cause he didn't feel good enough to meet me. He had no car, no real job or place of his own and stuff. I'm just...ugh I don't know.

So I started thinking about class reunions. Which I guess is a bit odd since I'm a few months late on that since technically my 10 year reunion was last year. Part of what got me thinking about it is the fact that recently family members seem to be taking a bigger part on sites like Facebook and such. My oldest brother being one of them and today he was talking about how he's reconnected with a lot of friends from high school and even people that know of him because they knew one of our other brothers (I have 3 brothers all total). Now it also gets weird cause now that we're all graduated myself and my oldest brother share reunion years. The only difference is he's 10 years ahead. So last year was his 20 year and my 10 year. And I thought about how really reunions for the most part suck for me. The reason why is the school I graduated from...I hold no ties to it. I went there for basically one year of half days. I was one kid in a school of over 2000. My senior class alone had I think 450 that graduated. I was basically a nobody. I was shy (shush it, I used to be really shy) so I really didn't become good friends with anyone there. So to go to a reunion for my class would be pointless. It also sucks because the reunion I'd feel the best going to is for the 2nd high school I went to. I went there for almost 3 years (basically half of my freshman year until after my junior year). But it sucks because reunions are usually more for that graduating class. So really I wasn't part of the graduating class for SHAPE even though that's mostly where I spent my high school life. Fort Knox is another one that holds a lot of my life but the reunions for that aren't much better than Euclid (where I did graduate). See I went to Fort Knox schools from kindergarten through half of my freshman year. Yes I know that's unheard of for a military brat but it happened. Fort Knox was my home but yet that graduating class of 98 really probably held few people that I had actually started high school with. I'm not sure what the hell the point of all of this was except for me rambling and thinking about the past a bit I guess. ~Edit~ Oops! Okay so I had to edit this because I didn't make it clear. All of my brothers graduated from Fort Knox. That was the high school they started with and finished with. I was the only one who went to different high schools (3 all total with the last one being a civilian school).

So most people never saw this...minus people on my family list. Almost 2 months ago I came across a poem I had started writing. I didn't even remember it BUT it was my handwriting. lol The odd thing is it was basically a porn-ish poem. Nothing really hardcore but kinda funny. Until now I forgot that I needed to finish it. And so tonight that's what I did. And here it is...the finished version. lol Once upon a time there was a boy who was horny all the time, He’d do all the little girls in the front or the behind. Perverted as can be he thought of all the ways they could be fucked, Even being so horny he’d settle for a girl who’d swallow after she sucked. Porn after porn the horny boy he’d watch on his big screen, Stroking and jacking like a maniac to a threesome with anal scene. Moans and groans from the porn chicks filling his ears, Afterall he loved seeing girls taking it in their rears. The horny boy stroked and stroked as he started to cum, Wishing there had been a girl there who wanted to swallow some.

Some people on this site need to grow up. I'm going to be a bit vague on this because unfortunately some good friends of mine are tied into this same thing. Otherwise I'd be putting this "thing" on blast big time. This is now the second time I've gotten a friend request. Both times once I hit accept I get blocked. Why the hell bother? Seriously. And if people wanna doubt me I've got screen shots. I had just accepted friend requests without really paying close attention to them since I figured it was the people I had just rated back. Well one of them must have been the 2nd request from this one profile. I didn't notice it but when I accepted them all and then refreshed I noticed a certain bulletin on my board and I was like wait that page just blocked me like 2 days ago after I accepted them. WTF!?? I did a screen shot of the bulletin on my board which it wouldn't be there unless someone had been on my friend's list. I don't block many people unless I really feel a need but it's going to get to the point that I block this one profile. I don't have time for childish games. If someone doesn't want me on their list...fine. Go about your life and I'll keep going about mine. I swear some people are here are less mature than my nephew who is only 8 years old.

Eh I'm in a funk of a mood. I know pretty much the reasons why. Some of which I won't get into. I'm not going to talk to anyone about it because I already know the things people would say to me about it. So I'm just gonna push on and work through it. The other things are just typical for this time of year. This month for years now has been a very emotional time of year. Tons of family birthdays, 2 deaths of people very close to me (okay one was my dog but she was more human than most people I know) and then just missing other people who passed away during other times of the year. Just unfortunately got a lot on my mind and it's kind of wearing me out. It took forever to sleep last night cause of my mind racing.

Sometimes bitter people really need to find better things to do. I've been a member on another site for years (about 4-5). I've had my share of haters on here and I've dealt with them on MY profile. I've never been one to feel the need to hide behind a fake profile to attack someone on that site. I figure whatever I have to say to you...I'll say as me. So with that being said. There are some people on that site who think they are so cool. They attack and rip on anyone for no reason really. Just because they feel the need to. They've done it before and it's okay for them. Granted with that comes some ass kissers who are like yay!! Get them! Rip on them! And believe anything these people say even when there is no proof to what they claim. The one is just beyond bitter. She's a big girl which hey nothing wrong with that cause lord knows I ain't skinny. So she's one of the main ones who rips on people and has recently. So on a message board someone decided to rip on her. Well one pic they used they had gotten off of my profile from a photobucket link I have on there. Mind you this link has been on there since September. I had forgotten about it. Well now the bitter one is claiming I made this fake profile and posted this pic ripping on her. Um excuse me? If I wanted to rip on you I'd do it as ME, not some fake name. Now mind you she posts a blog ripping on me with her supposed proof and posting pics of me and all this crap. Like going oh yeah remember when you wanted to bang this guy and he wouldn't bang you? Um sorry but the guy you listed I never wanted to bang. lol The ironic thing is SHE's the one who wanted him and he wanted her best friend. And she claims now that I made another fake profile to defend myself in the blog. Mind you I wake up to see all this has gone down and I'm like wtf?!?? First off...if I was going to go to the lengths of making a fake profile to rip on someone, I'd make a fake photobucket account as well. Duh. Maybe she's too retarded to do that but that's what I would do. Secondly if I was doing that why the hell did I create the one account more than a year ago??? And the one that defend me was made 3 months ago. Wait...was I that smart that I anticipated her finding out it was me so I pre-made this profile to defend me? And I knew she'd blog so I had this all ready and waiting?? It's just annoying cause it's like wow, okay you need the drama in your life but leave me out of it. I've got my own issues to deal with and don't need to deal with the "schoolyard bullies" which is basically what some of them are or try to be.

I've thought about writing this blog for a long time now. About a month ago or so I wrote a blog that I regret writing. I wrote it when I was hurt and pissed off. So I ended up saying things I didn't really mean. Unfortunately too many people read it before I took another look at it and deleted it. Some people knew who it was about, some didn't. The fact is the person I wrote it about...I'm still glad I was friends with them and got to know them. Despite what might be happening, what might happen and so forth...they were there for me a lot and I do appreciate it. One thing in life I've tried to do more often is admit when I'm wrong. Even though I'm just now writing this blog I've told people involved that I was sorry, even the person it was about I've said sorry to. And I truly meant it. There's more to this entire situation then anyone knows but that's where it's staying. The other things involved people don't really need to know. If people changed how they saw me...that's their choice. There will always be things those people didn't know about the situation. I just know writing or even saying things (verbally or even text) when you're hurting and mad is just never a good idea. You say things you don't mean at all. And the fact is once it's said (typed, etc)...you can't take it back. It's out there. That sucks because no matter how sorry I am for what I said...I can't unsay it.

Normally I don't care what other people do with their lives. If they wanna get no sleep, drink, have tons of one night stands or whatever...go ahead. It's your life. Not mine. BUT there are some things in life that I do draw the line on. I'm kind of pissed at a friend right now. I feel a bit disrespected by them. I'm not going to say who it is, if it's someone on here or that I know in real life or anything like that. I'm not even going to say if it's a guy or girl. This person before has said something about drinking and taking pain pills. I told them flat out it was a stupid thing to do and that's how people get addicted. Go look at a ton of celebs. Go ask Scott Weiland about that. Go ask Jeff Conaway about that fun little mixture. Or better yet...watch VH1's Celeb Rehab and you can see how f'd up Jeff is from drugs and alcohol. And he's one that is hooked on the pain pills. Go look into how many actors, singers, etc have DIED from doing pain pills and alcohol. The reason why I'm fired up is earlier today I get a text from the person going something about 7 vicodins and 6 shots of jack all before 1 PM yummy. No. If you're going to do that type of stupid stuff...I don't want to know. And you push me into a spot where I go wow this person knows I think that's a stupid thing to do and they do it and tell me? Maybe it's the lack of sleep that's making this bother me more...but I doubt it.

I swear people just continue to amaze me. I've wrote about my one friend before. The one who started off this year looking like he had anything from 6 months to 2 years left to live thanks to cancer. But then surprisingly he beat it somehow...by some miracle! His wife has been...eh I'm trying to think of a nice way to put it...not very supportive, not very caring, emotionally cold, etc, etc. Even after he beat the cancer...he got a blood clot in his lung and had to get emergency surgery when the one thing they put into his chest as an IV got infected. Anytime we've gone any real length of time without talking...it's been because he was in the hospital. Last I heard from him was back in September. His birthday was coming up so I texted him once saying oh someone's birthday is coming up soon. Nothing. Normally I hear back within a day. The day of his birthday...sent a happy birthday text. Still nothing. I let like 2 weeks go by and just sent a hey text. Nothing. Another week went by...I sent a text saying hey I'm starting to get worried cause I haven't heard from you. STILL nothing. I let more time go by and just kept hoping for the best. Today I sent another text saying hey. Mind you it's been almost a month since my last text to him. I've heard NOTHING from him. Anytime that much time went by...something bad was going down for him. I've been fearing omg maybe he died and his buddy forgot to tell me. So I go on myspace and get a message from another of his buddies that I've talked to. "Oh he wanted me to tell you he's fine and to stop texting him. He's trying to work on things with his wife and he'll let you know when things are cool". Um...okay that's fine and dandy...but thanks a lot for making me worry for almost 2 MONTHS that something bad happened again. Thanks for not being able to take a minute to text back and go hey I'm fine, just working on the family life I'll get in touch with you soon. Something. Anything! It pisses me off because him and I have had a close friendship. We both truly trust each other and don't trust many people. For him to pull this is just screwed up. I responded back fine I won't text him anymore. I had just been worried since this entire year whenever I didn't hear from him...it was because of being in the hospital or sick. The only positive is I'm so tired today I can't even get the energy together to really feel strongly about this. I know I'm pissed and hurt by it.