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First of all this is nothing made to be funny. Not to offend anyone, it's just something that needs to be said. What is a relationship to people nowadays. I mean we all have relationships with people whether it is business or personal. From time to time again I have been in relationships that I didn't even know I was in. For instance, ladies have you ever been in the club and a guy offers to buy you a drink and you accept it and the next thing you know this guy is following you around the dance floor all night because he thinks you accepted his gift that you were his. I call that the temporary club boyfriend, lol Or fellas have you ever had a really cool friend that you flirted with from time to time but never thought about anything serious and then maybe one day you get caught up in a compromising position and the two of you take that relationship the extra step. You wake up the next morning thinking about what you did the night prior and the female friend (who just promoted herself to girlfriend supreme) of yours is already going through your phone answering it and erasing numbers cause she think that you aren't going to need these anymore. lol! Anyone out there should know that I have a lot of female friends but some take it in a more serious way if i talk with them, they might think that I am a pretty cool guy, someone that they can see themselves with in the long run, some who has it together, someone who has been through it all. Truth be told to all of them, I am not the "one". Sure I love talking with females, it kind of unearth my sensitive side. (I used to have no sensitivity at all) What sparked all of this is having a long talk with a friend of mine the other day and she told me that to her I was like a universal remote to women, kinda like a universal remote that works for all televisions. Maybe I am the one everyone wants me to be. Just their own personal made for them man. I can't really call it charming but this is just who I am. All this anyone sees in me actually came from a woman, my first real girlfriend that I had when I was 18. For this person I was her everything and vice versa, together we were exactly each others equal. We did it all, finish each others sentences, knew what the other was thinking and all because she told me off the bat that is what she liked. I did all I could to be compatible with her. And I did it so much that I lost who I was. From that point after me and her went our separate ways. I still tend to cater to females and be who they want me to be. Hence be the reason why so many think that I am the one for them. Fact of the matter is that I could be. But as for right now I like to take my time and see if they are the one for me like they have to look at me and see if I am the one for them. When I start off at the beginning of a relationship, regardless of the type of relationship be it romantic, friendship or purely physical, I have to place a label on what that relationship is gonna be to avoid all confusion. I don't want to come out and say that I wanna marry you or anything like that. I like to let it flow out and see where it goes whether she feels anything for me or not. I have learned over the past few weeks that some people take things a little too far and really have no reason to. I mean sometimes we tend to be planning the future of the relationship, women especially, they start thinking about the future, making a family etc, would he be a good husband, father, etc (well most men think that too in an opposite sense). The men usually think about what is under your clothes (well most women do too), how far can we get with you. Most women want to take care of us and us men want the woman to take care of us. Ok, time to be realistic here and face the cold hard facts of life, relationships are not made or created by talking on the phone or in 3 dates, sometimes not in 8 or 10. The best course of action in beginning any relationship is to take it one day at a time, and expect nothing and you won't be disappointed. Not totally true, since women tend to get attached much quicker than us men do, but if you keep it on a "friendly" level and keep the physical aspects of a relationship at bay, you remove any confusion as a result. I know, I know, I must be crazy as hell for telling you not to have a physical relationship? Not really, men are are about the hunt, they want to hunt you, capture you and if you are an "easy catch", 9 times out of ten, the thrill of the hunt is gone and they move on to better game. Relationships that are worth being involved in take time and effort on both parts. Take the time to get to know the person, their likes, dislikes, little quirks, bad habits, meet their friends and family. Have you ever met someone and thought they were everything, and then met their friends and saw a completely different person and wondered "who in the hell is that?", well, it happens, learn to be observant of their characteristics, the personality change (if any) and how they react around other people. A lifetime is a very long time to commit to someone and how horrendous to find out that the person you fell in love with is not who you thought they were and realized you fell for an asshole. Then what do you do, run as fast as you can, suffer the agony of your blindness or deal with it and try to change them? Hmmmmmm, my guess is that most would run the opposite direction, stop answering the phone or block the person. All of that can be avoided if you keep your eyes wide open to what is happening and more importantly what is not happening in a budding relationship. Take the blinders off and be aware of changes, be open, ask questions and answer them honestly. Understand and remember when any relationship ends, someone always gets hurt and there is no way to avoid that fact of nature. I know I have seen a many hurt before. It was said best that love begins with a kiss, grows with emotions and always ends in tears. Relationships can be everything you want them to be with time and effort on both parts and we all do not progress at the same speed. Take your time, when you have reached a level of comfort with the person of interest where you can talk about anything, they include you in every aspect of their lives and want nothing more than to share every moment of life with you and you feel the same then you have the beginnings of a relationship that must be cared for forever. I feel compelled to ask you please, please, please, never ever, live your life, change your life, and live day to day based on what the other person wants or expects of you. You, are an individual and never should you lose sight of your individuality in a relationship, do not put your family and friends on the back burner, find time for them in your new life. I have actually done that before, take my whole life and lived it for another. Never again, it took a long time for me to find myself again. Your best bet is to focus on the fact that you are bringing someone new into your world just as they are bringing you into theirs and when it is right, everything works in unison. Relationships are part of what builds our character and makes us better stronger people. We are who we are because of past relationships, learn from them and use that knowledge to make this one or the next one the best one or the last one and never stop working at it, the rewards could last a lifetime. Not saying this always work but it works for me. So for everyone out there, I hope you enjoyed this. I hope everybody got to know what type of person I am. This is going to be in more detail in the book that i am writing title "Hated by many, Confronted by none!" Kinda catchy title isn't it? (the book is about my relationships past and present with people) After that one I am going to write "Innocent but Convicted of all Charges!" (this one is just about who you can trust out there) Enjoy
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