tammy

this is too funny ????????

2008-05-09T03:06:08-07:00

----------------- Bulletin Message ----------------- From: ~*Love & Let Go*~ Date: May 8, 2008 4:22 PM I LOVE YOU HONEY

A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years.

He breaks into a house to look for money and guns.

Inside, he finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed
and ties him to a chair.

While tying the homeowner's wife to the
bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up
and goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: 'Listen,
this guy is an escaped convict.

Look at his clothes! He's probably
spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years.

I saw how he kissed your neck.

If he wants sex, don't resist, don't
complain...do whatever he tells you.

Satisfy him no matter how much
he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous.

If he gets
angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey.

I love you!'
His wife responds: 'He wasn't kissing my neck.

He was whispering in
my ear.

He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if
we had any Vaseline.

I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too.

FOR MARK

2008-04-14T01:52:31-07:00

imikimi - Customize Your World LOVE MY HUBBY.

my dog

2008-01-12T23:12:57-08:00

Today january 12 my dog emma had her babies she only had two the first one died the secound one is ok its the most amazeing thing too see she has good mother instinks the both were girls thier chihuahuas sooo small harley the daddy is so proud we named the first one hanna may it rest in peace the secound one we named hope shes all tan just like the daddy .i hope she will be strong and stay alive .good job emma

DOLLY????

2007-08-25T01:38:59-07:00

Dolly Parton... and Queen Elizabeth.... ...die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven. Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them gets in. The Angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to Heaven. Dolly takes off her top and says, "Look at these -- they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please the angels to be able to see them every day, for eternity." The Angel thanks Dolly, and asks Her Majesty the same question. The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, shakes it up, and gargles. Then, she spits into a toilet and pulls the lever. The Angel says, "OK, your Majesty, you may go in." Dolly is outraged and asks, "What was that all about? I show you two of God's own perfect creations and you turn me down. She spits into a commode and she gets in! Would you please explain that to me?" "Sorry, Dolly," says the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a ROYAL FLUSH... ...beats a PAIR - no matter how big they are!

BUBBA DIED FUNNY

2007-08-25T01:35:18-07:00

Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty badly. The morgue >needed >someone to identify the body, so they sent for his two best friends, >Cooter >and Gomer. The three men had always done everything together. > >Cooter arrived first, and when the mortician pulled back the sheet, Cooter >said, "Yup, his face is burned up pretty bad. You better roll him over." > >The mortician rolled him over and Cooter said, "Nope, ain't Bubba." > >The mortician thought this was rather strange, so he brought Gomer in to >confirm the identity of the body. > > Gomer looked at the body and said, "Yup, he's pretty well burnt up. Roll >him over." > >The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, "No, it ain't Bubba." > >The mortician asked, "How can you tell?" > >Gomer said, "Well, Bubba had two assholes." > >"What? He had two assholes?" asked the mortician. > >"Yup, we never seen 'em, but everybody used to say, 'There's Bubba with >them >two assholes.'

look its my new puppy harley

2007-07-12T01:18:26-07:00

- Get Your Own

life and thoughts

2007-07-06T05:06:13-07:00

well lets see yesterday i had to go to cincinnati to take care of some family buiness i have not been thier in 8 months i live in the country now and its sad to say i hope i never see the city for life i want to die in any country field than the city the last of my family live in city my aunt she dyeing .of cancer she made me realize my brother ken will lose his legs in a month which i thank he will not make it cause he thanks his world is over thank hes right. my daughter is always in pain with her back . me well i lost 30lbs cause i just did dont no way my husband is sick cause he dont take care of his self so if you dont love yourself you dont love your family my son was always sick now healthy as can be i think it was 13 years of the fucking city that made him sick all the time so i realilze no matter what family you have you will always go alone. teens today if they dont like thier grandmas or parents or family they just go get new moms grandmas and family i am sure some will disagree with me thats ok but just my thoughts God gives us one mom one dad and thats it. my dad was a ass but god took care of that. my mom well she was all god gave no matter what. she did her best she died of cancer on thanksgiving and i did not need to go get a new one or a new grandma and that will be what she will always know .i lost alot of family some to death some to the I got a new family i just hope that all the grandmas and mother dead or alive can see how easy thier life long love can be replaced.in the now adays world me im stuck in the old world were god gives only one mom and one dad and thats it good or bad thats it as for brothers sisters hepews nices they are the new world of I got a new family and i wish you well but they need to remember you cant change the roots god give you as for me ill take what he gives me and go out alone when he says its my time to go and my kids will no i did love them and always will well those are my thoughts for today .

THIS MAN IS FUNNY

2007-07-03T15:22:51-07:00

FUNNY AS HELL

2007-07-03T15:10:26-07:00

My Resignation

2007-06-30T01:46:30-07:00

My Resignation I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old again. I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks. I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them. I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day. I want to return to a time when life was simple; when all you knew were colours, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care. All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset. I want to think the world is fair; that everyone is honest and good. I want to believe that anything is possible. I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again. I want to live simple again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and the loss of loved ones. I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, and a kind word; truth, justice, peace, dreams, imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow. So . . . here's my checkbook and my car-keys, my credit card bills and my 401K statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood. And if you want to discuss this further, you'll have to catch me first, cause........ ......"Tag! You're it."