My Mother taught me about ....

2012-01-11T13:01:05-08:00

�

I Owe My Mother ....

� **************************************�
1.��My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE�.�
�� "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.. I just finished cleaning."��

2.��My mother taught me RELIGION.��
�� "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."�

3.��My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.�
�� "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"��

4.��My mother taught me LOGIC.��
�� "Because I said so, that's why."�

5.��My mother taught me MORE LOGIC��.��
�� "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."�

6.��My mother taught me FORESIGHT.��
�� "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."��

7.��My mother taught me IRONY.��
�� "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."�

8.��My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS�.�
�� "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."�

9.��My mother taught me about CONTORTION-ISM.�
�� "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"�

10.�My mother taught me about STAMINA� ..�
�� "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."�

11.�My mother taught me about� WEATHER.�
�� "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."�

12.�My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.�
�� "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"��

13.�My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.�
�� "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.."�

14.�My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION�.�
�� "Stop acting like your father!"�

15.�My mother taught me about ENVY.��
�� "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."�

16.�My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.�
�� "Just wait until we get home."�

17.�My mother taught me about RECEIVING��.�
�� "You are going to get it when you get home!"�

18.�My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.�
�� "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."��

19.��My mother taught me ESP.��
�� "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"�

20.��My mother taught me HUMOR.�
�� "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."�

21.�My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT��.�
�� "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."�

22.�My mother taught me GENETICS.��
�� "You're just like your father."�

23.�My mother taught me about my� ROOTS.�
�� "Shut that door behind you.� Do you think you were born in a barn?"�

24.�My mother taught me WISDOM.��
�� "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."�

And my favorite:��
25.��My mother taught me about JUSTICE.��
�� "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you !"�

Only you folks my age understand these profound statements!!!��
But, there is one missing from this list~~My personal all time favorite!!��
��
My mother taught me about CHOICE.��
"Do you want me to stop this car?"

=====================================