Others speak for me so much better

That Spider

2013-05-18T10:42:32-07:00

That Spider crawling up your neck

Whispering raspily that something is wrong

Stop what you are doing

Don't walk across the street

Just because the green light tells you

That you can

The green light was designed

By someone else

Out of context

Therefore cannot be trusted

Don't go on automatic and put your foot

Into the roadway

Until you have looked both ways

Or a careening car

Will surely mow you down

Without mercy

A machine

Programmed to do

What it's master tells it

Losing control in absentia ironically

Regardless of consequences

REACTS to the math it is given

Never trust a machine to do

What a Spider can do

Another Lucid dream that woke me up

2013-05-09T14:33:26-07:00

I was in a treehouse

And I saw a Cheetah roam around below

Thought immediately

Why is that Cheetah there & then thought

OMG that means other cats are here

And before I could protect myself

A lion grabbed my head in it's mouth

I yelled for help but like all screams do in dreams

The yell was silent

I got away some how

Have no idea how

But a work client said

"I think you are bleeding...you need to see a doctor"

I felt my head and yes it was bleeding

That didn't bother me

My skull was movable tho so then I became alarmed

I called for an Ambulance

Blood on my hand

My brain was in danger not my body

So I acted accordingly

I am never worried about my body

My brain I protect

And I felt my skull move as I poked it

Fascinated that I had survived an animal

That tried to kill me

As I waited for the Ambulance

Knowing I would be fine anyway

War of the sexes secret handbook

2013-05-09T10:55:58-07:00

Heads up for men:

We know when you are lying (and trap you by letting you think you got away with it)

We know when you are angry (and use that knowledge to manipulate you)

We know when you are afraid (and resent your denial and inaction)

We know when you are weak (and try to strengthen you so we don't have to for fucking ever & ever)

We know when you are lost (and pull over to the gas station for fucking directions because you won't)

We know when you fuck up (and keep that in our memory bank for a future argument)

We know when you are a man (and no longer treat you as a child to be coddled)

�

Heads up for women:

They know when you are lying (and slowly over time accept it finally)

They know when you are angry (and hope it will go away after your period ends)

They know when you are afraid (and try to make you more afraid so that you will cling to them)

They know when you are weak (and revel in that...Sir Galahad etc...)

They know when you are lost (and take you on a journey that you did not intend nor ask for)

They know when you fuck up (and think it's cute)

They know when you are a woman (and no longer treat you as a child to be coddled)

�

It seems to me that both sexes have only one thing in common...we stop treating each other like children when we know we are dealing with a fucking grown up.

Yeah that happened

2013-05-04T22:51:23-07:00

I keep thinking I have found

A fellow Alien

And that we will miraculously have some kind of understanding

It will not happen

In the way I hope

So then I must define hope

Depressing

I have never been a fan of hope

such a passive thing

Yes, worth going through but OH MY GOD

So mind numbingly boring

And the poor sod who needs to keep my interest

I feel sorry for you

Really I do

My interest lasts as long as it does

Which means not very long

Your body talks

2013-05-04T16:40:58-07:00

Your body talks to you

Like a far off memory

Of stories told with

A kind soft voice

And yells sometimes too

But it is yours

To do with what you want

Either listen or ignore

Your body

The kindest friend you have

It carries you around

Say thank you occasionally

New Mantra..dammit y'all catch up?

2013-04-21T20:21:43-07:00

I love me

I love my body

I love my choices

I love the results

I love that I break rules

I love myself

I love life

Pay fucking attention to that shit...

2013-04-21T14:31:27-07:00

Fear of NOT being watched over indicates a distrust of oneself in general

And ones motivations in particular

A subconscious loathing of desire

Of self really

A perpetual childhood

Waiting for PERMISSION

From whomever you place above you

Disastrous mistake of course

Yet so many make it

Remember as a child what you made for other people

In hopes of approval

And what you made for yourself

Because you just had to

Which did you cherish & keep?

THAT will tell you who you are

And why you are here

More than anything else really

No god, lover or offspring can tell you that

That is something that you have told yourself

Very loudly & clearly

Pay fucking attention to that shit

Life is not an accident

2013-04-07T12:17:56-07:00

An accident

Blood

Broken glass

Twisted metal

Crying

Pain

Life is not an accident

It is a privilege

Ticking off

2013-04-07T02:32:51-07:00

So yeah

Got that ticked off my list

It was like being a virgin

Terrifying yet compelling to males

In particular

And all I wanted was

Satisfaction

After 3 years of waiting

Got it

He will never stalk me

Never bother me

It was just......

Satisfying

Perfect in it's singularity & purpose

Done...for now

Greetins from my "AUNT" part 5

2013-04-03T11:43:46-07:00

Hildy!

How did we lose touch?

Just came across this from 3 years ago.

Would love to hear from you.

Xoxoxo

Terrell

Re: Oh boy oh boy......

LOLOLOLOL...I suspect that my last email to you took some time to digest!....you are ahead of schedule though....most people it takes at least 5 years....hee heeeeee. I am doing splendidly. Ezra and I are starting a small clothing line. His goal is to first off create his own Production Company and then later swim with the sharks in dictating culture through Fashion.....I am sooooooooooo proud of him!

�

Always Love & respect for YOU!

�

Hildy