Mom

2009-10-19T15:20:22-07:00

Mom went to the lung Doc today. They told her and my oldest sister it was either lung cancer or an infection.� They are going back in Feb to have another CAT scan and if it has grown they will do a biopsy. Her chances for cancer are high since her younger sister died of lung cancer. Maybe it's just me,but I don't get the waiting thing. Why not check it now and not months down the line?� There will be no treatment for it,because she is to frail to survive that,but waiting makes no sense to me. Not my choice and I respect that.

Tired

2009-10-10T12:02:01-07:00

I am tired,physically and mentally. My mother can't harldly hear,is blind in her right eye and now can't remember something five mins after she asks you. I don't even know what i am doing half the time anymore. There is no one to talk to about it that sees it like I do. My sisters don't have a medical background and don't see where this is leading. Few of my friends even see her this way. I am supposed to be fine all the time,it's my job. My temper is short with my kids and they are hating me for it. I can't concentrate anymore and I sometimes just want to give up. I can't just take my kids and leave,who is going to take care of my mother? My sister can't do it alone and the other sister is no help. She is too busy off living her life and not giving a crap per usual. I think,maybe I should just go see a therapist,at least when I leave her office,I really wont care that I don't live up to any ecpectations. At least she is listening to me and giving me the advice I need and not the other away around. Not that anyone reads my blogs so I really didn't put this here for anyone but me. I don't need or want anyones advice,nothing is going to change because it can't right now. I am just venting. I am tired and really don't care what anyone thinks of or about me on here anymore.