On Everything.

Why I'm Not On Alot Anymore.

2009-09-02T22:10:51-07:00

Well, school started two weeks ago and i have five classes to take and a part-tome job I have to go to four to five days a week, seven to eight hours a day. So, as you can see, I will be very busy until around Thanksgiving perhaps haha. I'll try to reply to anyone and anything whenever I get soem free time. I have been missingyou all and will miss you still. I am very sorry about this, but it's life, right? Take care!

Possible Eviction....the reason the day is not good for me.

2009-05-21T16:53:19-07:00

Ok so, two months ago I accidently hit a ceiling spriner in my apt. outdoor storage closet and it flooded. Fire fighters came and shut it off anf the complex came and fixed it. Now, i am being charged for the broken sprinkler and damages done to rooms which i didnt think possible since the closet is outside and they arent my roooms. $718 for a college student on her own, living off of fin.aid in this economy. The situation is dire, and now i have to appeal to them through a lawyer, asking to see the bills for the reapir to see if the are ligit and/or they can be lowered and disputed. Right now, im going to have to ask people who are barely my family for moeny for somethign i did wrong, i hate having them in that situation for something i did. But, if I get evicted, i will have to pay $480 for the place i got evicted from until my lease is up in a year AND pay for the rent of wherever it is I go. I need prayers. This is the reason i am down and the day is not good for me.

There I Am

2009-05-21T16:09:04-07:00

Oh, but I am a shell, peel me open and sew me back up.
Pull my strings and I swear I'll unwind,
Tear�my wings and I'll try to fly.
Won't rush me, I'm stuck.
We'll take it this way,
Don't blame me I'm late.

Not Enough

2009-05-21T16:08:22-07:00

Contentment is not enough for me,�I want to be happy, entertained and free.�To take happiness instead of waiting would be fair, for I search for it and its never there.�I wait and sit and sit some more, but never does a smile knock on my door. Lonely, and never truly enthralled, I envy those who have that all. I want to kick and scream and slam the door, but only for the want of more. What it is, I think I know, but none of them shall ever though. It crouches and hides and waits for me, depression,�tis thee, and only for me. And now these solemn words I write, are never to be read, but kept out of sight. For pleased eyes and light souls, it will never�show, for only the lonely truly know...

For Today

2009-05-21T16:07:34-07:00

The days pass by and nothings changed, I speak, I laugh, I sit in boredom, I meet people�I cant touch, sometimes hear their voices, but so faint and so far away. I'm restless now, I've nothing else to do, my place is filled, yet I'm lonely still.�I dont know what to do with myself, this way, so�I guess�I'll�just stay content for now.�Feels cold, warmth never stays long, but it always feels�fine when it visits, it does. Wrap up in it and run around screaming. �And it �would be so good��if�I could just stay this way for today.

Brown Eyes

2009-05-21T16:06:54-07:00

I've always liked green eyes or blue eyes, probably because most of us do not have them. It wasnt until recently that I decided that I like brown eyes too. The dark brown ones that everyone seems to have and that no one gets complimented on unless it is by the owner of a green or blue pair. It was when I learned that people with green and blue eyes are lacking a specific gene that allows there eyes to have color, making them the ones with colorless eyes, that I decided we, the brown-eyed, were the special ones, that we held the color. It is not just that that has lead me to the fondness of such a popular eye color, it was when I looked into�a pair of �brown jewels and realized how you can look into brown eyes forever and get lost. Brown eyes are full, complicated, and deep; you can hide much and see all through them and thats what makes them special. So now, my brown eyed counterparts, revel in the marvelous pools that are your shutters to the world and moments in time, for they are full of color and much more.

The Bronzing Summer

2009-05-21T16:05:50-07:00

The summer is falling and I'm still here. Sitting, day by day in what seems an endless cycle of nothingness. I've nowhere to go, nothing to do�and not a one to really talk to. But, I sit here, in my demise with a sore backside and a pessimistic outlook towards life and what I'm doing here. Still waiting for answers to that question. But no rush. As the leaves float by my step and crumble, much like my time around me, I cant help but think about whats next and what do I do now? How do I change this? Still trying to figure that one out for myself. But now the season's turned, and winter approaches warily, lowly, and still I wonder what I'll be doing there. Goodbye light rain, hard storms and hot sun, my friends, leave me to the next month and the next time.