tag:fubar.com,2010:BlogAtom-1727382008-10-03T05:00:42-07:00avgrlA fubar user blog.avgrlhttp://firstname.lastname@example.org:fubar.com,2010:BlogAtom-172738.8899372008-10-03T05:00:42-07:002008-10-03T05:00:42-07:00ClosureI trusted him. I believed him. I made excuses for him. No not abusive but a long distance relationship. Well if you can call it that looking back.
I respected him and kept things quiet for the most part told my friends about us no one we had in common. He said it was cause he didn't want anyone to know his private life. I wanted to believe that but I now wonder how many others did he have believing him, believing they were special to him. He would make promises but not follow through then say that he didn't want me questioning his honesty because that was the most important thing to him. He just had a lot going on.
I wasn't a FU girl friend that was never what I wanted yet it turned into all I was. I guess he wanted to see how much he could get from me. I kept giving, not things but emotions something I hold very close and almost never give out.
I can't believe I fell for that I would tell anyone they are a fool. But I guess I'm so desperate to believe someone could love me that I believed the lies. How could I be so blind? I really loved him now I don't know that I will ever trust my feelings again. I don't trust people but stepped outside of myself to do so now I don't know that I will be able to do that again.
Can make you feel as if your floating on air
Mean the world and show that your cared about
Give you something to look forward to
Show you can trust and believe in someone
Give hope and faith
Make you feel as if your worth nothing
Can crush your spirit
Can kill all belief and trust
Can hurt and bring tears
Can destroy your world and bring you down to nothing
Please don't promise if you don't intend to follow thru
Please don't promise if you don't mean it
Please don't promise if your desire is to hurt me
Please don't promise unless you really mean it
Please don't promise just to make me happyavgrlhttp://email@example.com:fubar.com,2010:BlogAtom-172738.8360682008-07-15T04:35:25-07:002008-07-15T04:35:25-07:00Please....Please...
Don't talk to me if it's about what you can get from me...
I have nothing left to give
Don't say nice things to me to get them in return...
I deeply hurt when I hear them
Don't ask me what's wrong...
I just may tell you
Don't promise me you'll be there always
I'll wanna believe that but I can't
Don't tell me I'm special...
I want that more then anything
Don't expect much out of me...
Don't say you love me...
I want that more then anythingavgrlhttp://firstname.lastname@example.org:fubar.com,2010:BlogAtom-172738.7748872008-04-28T04:46:28-07:002008-04-28T04:46:28-07:00UntitledYour messages make me smile
Every time I get a message my heart beats faster
I watch my phone every day hoping
The sound of your voice sends chills down my spine
Send shock waves through my body
Flipping a switching, leaving it on
I dream of you, of the time we will be together
Wishing, hoping it will come true
Your arms around me, holding me tight
Falling harder and harder
Hoping your doing the same
I love you, hoping you do the sameavgrlhttp://email@example.com:fubar.com,2010:BlogAtom-172738.7666852008-04-18T03:23:55-07:002008-04-18T03:23:55-07:00Donít be a victim of high gas prices!Donít be a victim of high gas prices!
Did you know that traders of energy commodities like oil donít have to report to the government like traders of other items such as wheat or corn? Loopholes in the law (created by those at Enron just before their financial scandal became public) allow wall street types to speculate as wildly as they wish on what is happening in the oil market without any real basis on supply and demand. You pay more at the pump thanks to this over speculation. Prices of groceries are skyrocketing and many canít afford the gas to drive to work. The economy is on a downward spiral with Americans and fuel retailers paying the way for investment bankers and hedge funds to get richer.
Take control of gas prices out of Wall Street and back in the hands of basic business sense where it belongs.
Join your local convenience stores and petroleum distributors in supporting a law requiring energy traders to report to the government the same way all other traders are required to. Log on to <a href="http://www.CloseTheEnronLoophole.com">Close The Enron Loop Hole</a> and click on the red button ďWrite your Representatives and Senators TodayĒ to urge legislators to support this bill. Hurry, this bill is being debated NOW! If the public doesnít show their support it may be another year before the bill is debated again. Who knows how high gas prices may be pushed by then.
The public isn't the only one who suffers from high gas prices. As budgets are tightened customers spend less money on convenience items inside the store, the real source of profit for locally owned and operated petroleum business owners. Americans use credit cards more, driving up operating costs and eating into profits. Members of the Petroleum Marketers and Convenience Stores of Iowa actively work to fight high gas prices and protect the communities they serve. avgrlhttp://firstname.lastname@example.org:fubar.com,2010:BlogAtom-172738.6902702008-01-27T23:10:46-08:002008-01-27T23:10:46-08:00The BoyOut among the shadows
Lies the emotions of a young child
His pain, triumph, and love
All the passions are hiding, running away
He looks at what the future holds
Yet he has no idea where heís going
He must grow older and face the truth
He must smell the eternal smell
The smell of whatís deep down inside
The smell of fresh warm sticky sweat
He feels the pounding of the heart
His passions are coming out into the light
He runs into the shadows
Away to hide from the pain
He sees the wiser answer
He sees the light
He has grown and aged beyond the age
Reaching a smarter medium
Ouch, slap, it all becomes reality
Being the wisest will never happen
It was all a dream
He steps back and learns where he is
He now sees he must grow
He must now learn to love
He must now learn to control his emotions
Step by step he makes his way
Learning and growing
Aging with the time
Becoming the wiser never the wisestavgrlhttp://email@example.com:fubar.com,2010:BlogAtom-172738.6902682008-01-27T23:09:38-08:002008-01-27T23:09:38-08:00Return it To MeA sense of panic over came my sleep
Total awareness and consciousness
Closed eyes, sleep filled, not moving, not blinking
Aware and not liking, loathing the helplessness
Donít stir, donít move, it may worsen
Why the constant pursuit when itís not right
Not brought about, pushed away
Far from being able to cry out yet yelling inside
A sudden shirt Ė He rests Ė He waits
Move a little, donít give in, try and hide the facts
Let him know you arenít happy, donít respond
Wishing it done, just wanting peace, to be left alone
Was it caused by me, in anyway?
Trying harder to ignore as more persistent he tries
When will it ever be over my torment
Donít lose control, anger go away, detach, be gone!
Itís over as I shift again, please be done
Safe for awhile, hoping for it to last, knowing it wonít
Not long after it persists I just want to scream
Run away hide, forever, help, slashing my soul
Every good girl tries to avoid it
Every bad girl invites it, almost asks for it
No precautions good enough to keep the demon away
Welcoming it with open arms for comfort
A short times comfort causing many pains
Itís done, the alarm goes off
Itís safe to wake, have my senses be my own
Donít let in, it may be worse
Leading on, teasing playing a game
Itís not a game, itís my life, return it to me
Be gone; go away, itís not okay
Itís my life, return it to me!
avgrlhttp://firstname.lastname@example.org:fubar.com,2010:BlogAtom-172738.6902652008-01-27T23:08:07-08:002008-01-27T23:08:07-08:00Perfect WomanI am the perfect woman in your head
As long as you picture me sweet and innocent
I showed you what you wanted to see
What you expected to see, I became your goddess
Your compared others to me
They didnít please you the way I do
Never making you feel as I make you feel
I let it all crash, opened myself to you
Told you more than I should have
I let you see my inner thoughts, feelings, desires
You begged me to; I tried to ward you off
You begged me to I relented
I let you see the emptiness, the void to be filled
I let you see the side Iím not proud of
You told me to take care of myself, to change, to improve
You told me I was different, I had lied
I warned you you would be disappointed, things would change
When you learned I wasnít your expectation, I became nothing
I showed you what you wanted to see, you lost your fantasy
You say you will forget the details, things wonít change
You say I am still the perfect woman, in your head
avgrlhttp://email@example.com:fubar.com,2010:BlogAtom-172738.6902622008-01-27T23:06:35-08:002008-01-27T23:06:35-08:00MagicAs I stared into your eyes
I felt a true passion
Something I never felt before
A longing to be held, northing more, nothing less
I had dreamed of your eyes
Before I knew they were yours
All this feeling familiar, yet new
I want you to touch me
The feeling unlike anything before
Kiss me softly
You send chills down my spine
A dizzying rush
You make me feel as if you cast a spell
I donít want you to let go
Always hold me close
Bewitch me with your passion, your love