tag:fubar.com,2010:BlogAtom-1241782008-07-23T20:36:00-07:00bored, bOReD, bored-y, bored!A fubar user blog.deVYn ASylUm of ThE INsaNe gREetERhttp://email@example.com:fubar.com,2010:BlogAtom-124178.8426292008-07-23T20:36:00-07:002008-07-23T20:36:00-07:00bored dialingi'm sure that most of you know what i mean. you're sitting there at the restaurant, waiting to be seated, waiting for your food, just waiting. and you slowly reach for your phone, and start going through the phone book, thinking, 'hmmmm.... who can i call and talk to while i wait.....' my husband and i were sitting in cracker barrel after leaving simple day, and though we could have talked to each other, we both went to our phones, trying to find someone to talk to. we'd just spent the weekend in fairly close proximity to each other, and besides, we already knew what had gone on over the weekend. we wanted to share it with someone else. but sadly, all of our attempts only reached voicemails. so we sat there, bored, while we waited on our food. or at least mostly bored. he played that silly little peg game that i can never win, and i stared out the window. loads of fun. and nothing really of note happened over the weekend to talk about either. though, i did get two new tattoos yesterday. deVYn ASylUm of ThE INsaNe gREetERhttp://firstname.lastname@example.org:fubar.com,2010:BlogAtom-124178.7213232008-02-28T22:01:20-08:002008-02-28T22:01:20-08:00the creation of the worldgot this from a friend, rather enjoyed it, thought i'd post it here for everyone else.
Original speech by Barry Marin (PanThea 2002):
Well, Yes. I became a polytheist because I have a scientific mind. I looked at the evidence: Teats on men. Nose hair. EAR hair! The Krebs cycle. This body has all the earmarks of something designed by a COMMITTEE!
And I know women were involved. Because, let's face it: If a MAN had invented MEN, my balls would not be where they are. They'd be in my chest, or my skull, somewhere SAFE.
My real problem is that they let the trickster Gods into it. Like farting. You KNOW farting was Pan's idea. It's just exactly his style.
I can just picture the animal design committee in my mind. There's Hermes in the corner, making insect after insect after insect. They're small, they fly, they're annoying. Perfect!
So Artemis wanted something to hunt them: invented the Wren. Aphrodite didn't think that was pretty enough: invented the Bluebird. Ares thought that was too tame: made the Hawk. Zeus thought that was too small: invented the Falcon. Poseidon had to top that: created the Eagle.
Athena put her twist on the idea: invented the Owl. Hera wanted something more practical: invented the Chicken. That was too ugly for Aphrodite: made the Peacock. Zeus wanted bigger chickens: created the Turkey. And Bacchus chimed in: "Ok, ok! It's a chicken. A BIG chicken! A REALLY big chicken! And it's got a looonnngg neck!"
"Looks too big to fly, Bacchus."
"It don't fly, it runs really fast!"
"That's nice, Bacchus."
So then, we know Poseidon created the Horse. Aphrodite didn't think that was pretty enough: made the Gazelle. Hera wanted something more practical again: created the Cow. Zeus made it bigger: invented the Ox. Poseidon had to top THAT: invented the Elephant. Cows weren't fierce enough for Ares: made the Leopard. Which Zeus wanted bigger: created the Lion. which now Artemis had to top: invented the tiger.
And Bacchus: "Right! So it's a horse, a BIG horse! And it's got a looonnngg neck; And ORANGE POLKA DOTS!"
"That's nice, Bacchus."
And it went on.
Athena made Fish for Poseidon. Zeus made them bigger: created Whales. Poseidon returned the favor: invented Rabbits for Athena's Owls. Aphrodite wanted them softer: made Chinchillas. And, of course, Bacchus: "Ok, So; it's a looonnngg neck!"
"How many feet does it have, Bacchus?"
"It's got no feet! It's just a loooonnng neck. Slithering on the ground!"
"That's nice, Bacchus."
And so it went.
If you listen carefully and observe the world around you, you begin to hear the music of creation. And it's not the monotone, monotonous march of a monotheistic Deity. What single God would bother to invent 9000 different kinds of Frog? No, that music is Jazz! One idea bouncing off another, and taking off in a new direction. Riffs; and variations on themes, and variations of the variations. Obviously a group effort!
Until finally, Bacchus, from deep in his cups: "Platypus!"
"THAT'S NICE BACCHUS."
deVYn ASylUm of ThE INsaNe gREetERhttp://email@example.com:fubar.com,2010:BlogAtom-124178.5081052007-09-03T23:08:07-07:002007-09-03T23:08:07-07:00uber boredbleh. this sucks. by the time i'm free and able to talk to people, everyone else has gone to bed. as active and into absolutely everything as cordelia is, it's damn near impossible to get anything done, or talk with any of my friends. but by the time she goes to bed, normally around ten, it's too late to call any of my friends, because they cut off receiving phone calls about that time! so i'm stuck here, alone, bored out of my mind, with just a small child and a handful of pets (four cats and a spoiled rotten dog; my mil's, no way in hell would my dog be as spoiled!) for company! the only adults i really get to see are the ones i live with, and that gets boring after awhile. at least i can take care of my own child. with two of my acquaintances, they can barely handle five minutes alone with their child! the one just don't pay any attention to him, though he -does- live with her, the other is having her mom raise her child. neither have quite gotten the idea that 'mom' ain't just a word, it's a responsibility. the latter is actually gonna try and take her son for a bit at the end of the month, and was wanting to baby-sit for her while she's at 'school.' uh, -no.- even if i wasn't applying at four or five different places, same with my husband, no way in hell would i baby-sit him. he's a fussy, spoiled little snot. with this one, here's how intelligent his mother is: the -one- time she babysat cordelia, dilly was only a few months old, 5 or 6 at most, and the ditz thought she only had to eat three times a day like an adult, and couldn't figure out why she was crying. henceforth, that woman is never allowed to babysit my child again. with the first, she just flat out ignores him. he's climbed up the baby gate and perched right next to her while she's on the computer, and she doesn't even notice that he's there! and when us and a few of our friends down here in Kentucky get together, it usually falls on the rest of us to watch her son! blah. well, that's my vents, etc. for now. ttfn.deVYn ASylUm of ThE INsaNe gREetERhttp://firstname.lastname@example.org