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As I approach the four year anniversary of the loss of my father to colon cancer the day after Fathers Day 2005 I think of what the word father and the day named for it means to me. It seems to me that the day tends to give too much credit to those who don't deserve it, as well as those who do. To be a father is easy. The only requirement is that you be able to produce sperm. To be a dad requires so much more. A dad must also produce shelter, food, wisdom, discipline, and love. That of course is the short list. My dad did all of that and more.
He did all of this of his own will for my sister, my brother, and myself. Then he went on after he and my mother divorced, re-married and became a step-dad to my beautiful younger sisters and younger brother. After being there all that time drying the tears, coaching the teams of his first family, stepped into a second family and did it again. I was not jealous of my new family. I welcomed them as he did. I watched in amazement as he dried tears, and coached teams again, and openly wept as they buried my youngest brother who was killed by a drunk driver at the age of 20.
I have never been a father myself for reasons that are way too complex to explain at this time. I am that dead branch on the family tree. I could only hope now that I would have been a good dad like mine. Even though we didnt always see eye to eye I still respect and admire all the things he did.
Now for the other side of the coin. To all fathers who never had the guts to be a dad, the deadbeats and the losers who just produce the semen and then abandon their responsibilities. You should be sterilized. I think my dad would have even agreed with that.
Dad I miss you.
Chuck
