My son caem home from school one day
with a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough
to put me in my place.
"Guess what I learned in Civics two,
that's taught by Mr. Right?
It's all about the laws today,
The "Children's Bill of Rights"
It says I need not clean my room,
don't have to cut my hair
No one can tell me what to think,
or speak or what to wear.
I have freedom from Religion,
and regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head,
and I sure don't have to pray.
I can wear earrings if I want,
and peircing my tongue and nose.
I can read and wath just what I like,
get tattoos from head to toe.
And if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up all my charges
with the marks on my behind.
Don't you ever touch me,
my body's only for my use,
not for your hugs and kisses
that's just more child abuse.
Don't preach about your morals,
like your mama did to you.
That's nothing more then mind control,
and it's Illegal too.
Mom, I have these children's rights,
so you can't influence me,
or I'll call Children's Services Division,
Better known as C.S.D
Of course my first instinct was
to toss him out the door
But, the chance to teach him a slesson
made me think a little more.
I mulled it over carefully
I couldn't let this go
A smile crept upon my face
He's messing with a pro
Next day I took him shopping
at the local Goodwill Store.
I told him, Pick out all you want,
there's shirts and pants galore.
I've called and checked with C.S. D
who said they didn't care
if I bought you K-mart shores
instead of those Nike Airs.
I've cancelled that appointment
to take your driver's test.
The C.S.D is unconcerned
so I'll decide what's best.
I said
No time to stop and eat,
or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn
to make your own sack lunch.
Just save the raging appetite,
and wait till dinner time.
We're having liver and onions
a favorite dish of mine.
He asked Can I please rent a movie
to watch on my VCR?
Sorry, but I sold your t.v
for new tires for my car.
I also rented out your room
you'll take the couch instead.
The C.S.D requires
just a roof over your head.
Your clothing won't be trendy now
I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get
will buy me something neat.
I'm selling off your jet ski
dirt bike and roller blades.
Check out the "Parents Bill of Rights"
It's in effect today.
Hey hot shot are you crying
Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out,
Instead of the C.S. D?
Happy Mother's Day
