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Free's blog: "Do you....?"

created on 09/16/2007  |  http://fubar.com/do-you/b129854

Q & A

Do you……? Do you know what it is to long for something that you’ve once had and are afraid that you will never find again? Do you understand how it is to not feel anymore because you were once so devistated by the lose of someone, or something, that you were truly in love with? Do you understand what it is like to feel so alone even when you’re in a room full of people? I understand all of these things. I understand what it is to not be able to sleep at night because you’re heart weighs so heavily that it is like a ton of bricks. I understand what it is to be alone and on the outside of everthing going on around you. I understand what it is to be so afraid to feel anything because you’re afraid of the pain that was (and still is) so intense that you would shut down all your emotions just to escape it. Do you understand what’s it’s like to miss someone that is right around the corner? Do you know what it is to want to hold someone that doesn’t want to be held? Do you know what it’s like to long to feel someone near you because they are your other half that makes you whole? I understand what it’s like to miss someone that is still near by, but doesn’t want to be seen anymore. I understand what it’s like to to want to hold someone that you’ve once held and long to hold again that doesn’t want you to hold them. I understand what it’s like to lose that other part of you that made you whole and helped to make sense of it all even when it got crazy. I didn’t ask to Love, or to even know what Love was. I didn’t ask to feel like I couldn’t live without you when you left me for another lover that only beats you down. I didn’t want to feel any of the pain that sometimes washes over me like a tidal wave even after the years that have gone by. I didn’t ask to still see your face when I think of what it would be like to have someone that I could hold and feel something for again. I didn’t ask for the sleepless nights when I could still feel you in my arms, your warm breath soft upon my shoulder. I didn’t ask to want to you now as I did the day you took your last drink. The day that you walked out of my life forever.
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