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Dr Love's blog: "Diary Of A Madman"

created on 09/14/2006  |  http://fubar.com/diary-of-a-madman/b688

My Love

MyLove.gif In the back of my mind may reside worry And sometimes my judgment a little blurry But know here and now That at your feet I bow My Love is always near You need not fear I will never leave Nor will you ever grieve I will forever be at your side With all other issues aside My love you’ll forever own As for my mistakes I must make atone Please remember always you have a friend in me This I’m sure we both agree Whatever events that may go by That I will never say goodbye Although sometimes I can be a jerk And at times you tend to go berserk Remember I was made for loving you Your attention I’ll always pursue Cause’ they’ll never be enough to go around ©~Ted E. Brown II October 27, 2006

Journey

Journey_gif.jpg On sweetest day on this our eighth year There are few things I want you to hear I know sometimes I am not what you hoped And most of the time I'm pretty doped But my love for you still grows to this day So intense nothing could make me go astray For my Love is stronger than ever Love so secure, it could only last forever Remember from this day I still have so many feelings to display And I intend on showing you each and every one Because our lifelong journey has just begun ©~Ted E. Brown II October 20, 2006 **For My Wife Dragongirl**

Blood Lust

BloodLust.jpg In the dark caverns of my mind I am in retreat. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, the screams of the tortured haunt me till the end of time. Is anyone here? Does anyone care? I am utterly alone in my hell fighting with feelings of abandonment, and remorse for my actions. If I had only known that I would regret every minute I would have turned the other way. The look in his eyes as the night engulfed his thoughts. The look of reverence deep in his soul as a vision of death stood before him, darkness slithering around his essence. Blood curdling shrieks of pain as he gives in to the inevitable. A sight burned into my psyche. Have I lost my mind? Have I gone insane? Terror enters my every waking moment recalling that fateful night when evil reigned supreme. When death roamed on open foot. When I took a life, the living essence of a human being. Disconnected from reality, and far from the laws of humanity I stepped into the role of a God. A God I am not, yet I halted life in one individual, released his soul to the depths of the afterlife. God has him in his bosom; they are safe from me for now. A protector of light, and the bringer of vengeance the almighty God shall smite me for my acts. Looking into the eyes of the dead I see myself, a soulless being with a black heart, a living dead man. What have I become? Is this all that I am, a heartless beast with a blood lust? I’m nothing but a maniac with a one-way ticket to the eternal flames of damnation, where I will wait for my demise at the hands of my dark lord. ©~Ted E. Brown II October 19, 2006

I Quit...!

So many things on my mind Too many excuses leaving me behind No more reasons to lie With another bad good-bye Leaving my mark on your life Twisting the proverbial knife Leaving your world behind My innermost hopes, gone blind You know not what you do To a man in my shoes Look into my eyes And know it is you I despise Nowhere I can hide No one for which I can confide Deep in the void of our love I feel no pain, a lack thereof No more tears No more fears A feeling so inviting Far beyond exciting To reside in a place In the warm embrace Of a love once sound A mark of something so profound Where has my actions brought me? What has my thoughts left me? Is this as good as it gets? I might as well call it quits!

My Only Slavation

41d2af36.jpg ***Published Twice In 2005*** I've lived my life for oh, so many years Living with oh, so many fears Afraid to know Afraid to show I have nothing left to lose I've been to heaven and I've been to hell I've walked the streets of gold, and rung "Hell's Bells" If you wonder, "For Whom The Bell Tolls" Look into your soul And know it tolls for you I've seen the light and fought the good fight I've seen the devil and ran in fright I've felt the pain And wondered if I was "Insane" Only to realize "I Was Only Dreamin'" I set out on a "Journey of 1,000 years" Worse than the "Trail of Tears" Running blind Afraid to find My only salvation I hoped for perfection Only to receive confusion So many reasons And so many demons I'm being pulled apart In every direction I'm being pulled In every way I'm being fooled You say one thing, they say another Unable and unwilling to "Come Together" No one knows what to do I only hope and pray That one day soon we will find way On earth as it is in Heaven Copyright ©~Ted E. Brown II July 22, 2003

The Fallen

Fallen_Angel_-_Luis_Royo.jpg ***Published October 2006*** So many reasons to fall To slip away never to be found To many excuses to call Always tied and bound Sitting in the dark alone Wondering what it was I had done If only I had known It wouldn’t have sounded so fun Always together, never apart At least as it seems I wish I were smart Not only in my dreams A million and one excuses To tell me why you ran A Multitude of bruises Leaving all you can So many things to say With revenge on my mind Leaving you in dismay Your death warrant has been signed I do what I must Wishing I could disappear Running in disgust Your impending doom draws near Hide if you can Leaving no clues to find Dodging my hit man Our souls have been intertwined Copyright ©~Ted E. Brown II September 28, 2005
100_2279.jpg “Rockin The `Nati” Cincy KISSFest 2006 By: Ted E. Brown II All right Cincinnati…You wanted the best & You got the best! The hottest expo of the year! The 4th annual Cincinnati KISSFest & Hard Rock Expo was held this past Sunday at the Holiday Inn East in Eastgate, Ohio. The event was headlined by special guest guitarist/producer Bob Kulick, brother of ex-KISS Guitarist Bruce Kulick. Bob toured as Paul Stanley’s solo band guitarist in the 1980’s, as well as played on several KISS Albums including Paul Stanley, Killers, and studio cuts on Alive II, and producing WWE Triple H’s Theme Music “The Game” in conjunction with Motorhead, and World Wrestling Entertainment. Performing sets for the audience was Cincinnati’s own all female KISS tribute Black Diamond. Cleveland’s own KISS Tribute Mr. Speed. Band SSG performed with Bob Kulick, and young Angelo Coppela pounded out 45 minutes of raunchy rock drum lines to the amazement of the audience. Vendors attending spanned from Allen Mullins & Karen Olvey’s KISS Korner, (Karen & Allen are also the promoters of the Cincinnati KISSFest), KISS 4 Sale, KISS Online, and KISS Army Warehouse. Collette Shaw author of “Won’t Get Fooled Again” attended and sold her book and signed autographs all day for her fans, and many others. Also on hand were many representatives from Eastgate’s Dillard’s promoting KISS’s new Fragrance line KISS Him & KISS Her. Handing out personal samples, KISS Masks, Tattoos, stickers, and air fresheners. The doors opened for VIP holders at 11:00am and the crowd slowly leaked into the ballroom. For the first hour VIP’s were treated to advance access to Bob Kulick, and buying rare KISS merchandise before the admittance of General admission. The day slowly ticked away as the crowd increased in size steadily. After a few hours of interacting with vendors and fans, the days started off with a few VIP drawings. This year KISS Online, and Paul Stanley provided 2 CD singles of “Live To Win” signed by Paul Stanley, as well as three promo posters for the upcoming KISS Concert on the big screen, check your local listings. Also given away to VIP holders were collectible pins recently released by the newly opened KISS Coffeehouse in Myrtle Beach. Once the first round of KISS drawings were over the attention of the crowd focused on the Pre-Screening of Paul Stanley’s new solo release “Live To Win”. Paul Stanley himself recorded intros to each song while presenting them to the fans for the first time. Paul was said to be extremely excited to have Cincinnati be the first to listen to his first solo venture since 1979’s KISS release “Paul Stanley”. The album is nothing less than Paul’s shinning moment as a Performer, and musician with titles like “Live To Win” and “Bulletproof” this album is one any KISS fan will treasure for many years. After the listening party concluded fans could record personal messages for Paul about the album and anything they might want to say to the Starchild. The show continues with young 10 year old Angelo Copolla performing a 45-minute set of KISS Tunes. The talent this child has is phenomenal, the crowd was amazed at that power and just all out rock that this young KISS army member could pound out on his drum kit. Playing along with taped songs, Angelo performed “Cold Gin”, “Strutter”, “Rock And Roll All Nite”, and one of his own tunes “Skateboard Maniac” among a few others. Angelo may only be 10 years old, but don’t let his age or size deter you, this young boy has been backstage to meet Zakk Wylde of “Black Label Society”, and has had Eric Singer personally give him tips. Angelo is an artist that will defiantly be around for many, many years. I urge everyone to check out his album “Pound For Pound” available at www.angelocopolla.com. After performing in Catman attire Angelo retired to his table and signed autographs, and took photos with the fans. Next up was Bob Kulick. Bob took the stage for a small Q. & A. session where he plugged his upcoming release “Butchering The Beatles”, a tribute album produced by Bob to be released on October 24th, the same day as Paul Stanley’s “Live To Win”. After answering a few questions from the fans Bob invited band SSG onstage to perform a Rocking set of both KISS & Non-KISS Tunes with Bob Kulick including “All American Man”, “God Of Thunder”, and The Beatles “Back In The U.S.S.R.” to promote his upcoming release “Butchering The Beatles”. I had the opportunity to sample Bob’s new album “Butchering The Beatles” the night before the expo, and with artists like Billy Gibbons, Mark Slaughter, Eric Singer and many, many more. With Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top performing “Revolution” this album is far from its title. After Bob, and SSG Completed their set the stage was handed over to “Black Diamond”. All four lovely ladies were in perfect form, Leigh “The Goddess Of Thunder”, Shannon Stanley, Jendell Frehley, and Tonya Criss were all looking their best and sounding better than ever. Playing tunes like “Love Gun”, “Strutter”, “Detroit Rock City”, and more these girls you never want to miss a minute of their set. Black Diamond eventually relinquished the stage to Cleveland’s Mr. Speed, producing a new Bassist and Drummer since the last Cincinnati KISSFest. These guys are one of the best male tributes I have ever seen! The moves, look and sound makes you really feel like you’re at a KISS Concert. Mr. Speed played many rare KISS gems such as “I”, “Love Theme From KISS”, “Let Me Go, Rock & Roll”, and after a rocky start, “Rock Bottom”, “Raise Your Glasses”, and “God Gave Rock And Roll To You” after a warm heartfelt statement of appreciation for the armed services and of one Matt Maupin (Matt a resident of Glen Este, is M.I.A. in Iraq). God Bless You All!! All in all the 4th Annual Cincinnati KISSFest went off without a hitch! Anyone attending can agree that Cincinnati is the “Rock-N-Roll Capital” of Ohio, and we showed it this past Sunday when the KISS Army united in Cincinnati to rock and roll all night and party every day…!!!
It's an amazing sight to see total chaos In the sky above your home. At night you can see the glow of the enormous shells flying in the cloudy twilight. The incredible sound emanating from the sky is hard to describe, a low dull whirr.... in between the intermittent sound of the guns firing at each other. When they bank hard you can almost hear the plane scream as it changes directions. The sudden burst of flames from an occasional explosion, then as the wreckage falls to the earth the sound of the fire devouring the billion dollar piece of equipment. When it finally hits the dirt another explosion that sends a tremor towards my home as the bed begins to shake, pictures fall off my wall, and nick knacks rattle off of their appropriate shelves. My heart is beating so hard, I feel it about to jump out of my chest and I wished it would. To experience this much destruction first hand is something that in my twenty four years of life I never want to see again. I began to pray to my dear lord God. "Please dear lord help me to survive this to bask in your glory once again under the clearest blue sky!" As I repeat this over and over in my head, Hoping to live or die at this point I don't care which, I notice a stream of lights heading for my window. As I reacted to move away I fell to the floor In the fetal position praying and crying my heart out. I hear the glass shatter as the stream of lights came thru. They hit the bed with several dull thuds as the cotton flew thru the air. I realized I needed to be somewhere I felt a little more safe. After getting the courage I threw myself into a modified NFL three point stance and took off towards the living room. I crawled over to a corner away from any windows and covered my ears still able to hear the living hell engulfing everything. Explosion after explosion I prayed. Slowly the noise died and the sun slowly came alive and illuminated the fresh battle field. I crept to my feet to survey the damage to my surroundings. As I looked out my door the fields are smoking and the fires are still burning but I could tell that today we would have a clear blue sky. Copyright ©~Ted E. Brown II September 20, 2002 (*Inspired by a dream*)

The "Candyman"

So many he loved Loved by many Many can remember Remember the kisses Kisses he recieved Recieved in joy Joy of friendship Friendship is all he needed Needed by many Many will never forget Forget the gleaming smile Or his wonderful style For it was time Time to hand out kisses to his new angels Angels of God God Is with him forever Forever with us in spirit Spirit of the candyman Candyman to all All to keep him In our hearts Hearts are In pain Pain of loss Loss of life Life of success He was our candyman Candyman bearing love Love of everything Everything to remember Remember always Always to know Know that the candyman is watching Watching from heaven Heaven needed a candyman Candyman for all to enjoy Enjoy the blessings blessings of his kisses As you read this poem for our friend Friend to many Many to know Know that our candyman will shower us with kisses from heaven forever and always WE LOVE AND MISS YOU CANDYMAN! *IN MEMORY OF CHARLIE PLUMB* "THE CANDYMAN" Copyright ©~Ted E. Brown II May 30, 2002

I Know...

I LOOK INTO YOUR EYES AND I KNOW THAT YOU'LL NEVER LEAVE ME I SMELL YOUR HAIR AND IT'S THE SCENT OF HEAVEN I WATCH YOU AS YOU TALK AND I KNOW THAT YOU CARE I NOTICE HOW YOU LISTEN AND I KNOW THAT YOU HAVE THE UTMOST CONFIDENCE IN ME I FEEL THE WAY YOU TOUCH ME WHEN WE MAKE LOVE AND I KNOW THAT YOU LOVE ME I SEE YOU TAKE CARE OF ME WHEN I'M ILL AND I KNOW THAT YOU ARE MY TRUE LOVE I LOVE YOU MORE NOW THAT THE FIRST TIME I LOOKED AT YOU YOU ARE MY SOULMATE, WIFE, FRIEND AND MOST OF ALL MY ONE TRUE LOVE Copyright ©~Ted E. Brown II April 24, 2002
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