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sorry about this one folks i havent been keeping my word on this on huh lol sorry I jsut got back from touring so I will be keeping up with this more if you all want you can add me on myspace www.myspace.com/sae279910 ok so here goes, I'll take a friend of yours out to dinner than I'll take off all her clothes and look for you in her...
I like booze; booze provides you with that temporary esacpe from reality that everyone needs from time to time... but as a musician I have realized that we need it more than others we are the rejected the heartbroken, the torn apart...normal people live their lives to please other people...ans we live our lives to please ourselves but we always end up pleasing them too...so what does that tell you about us? we are providers of something greater...we give you all without taking any for ourselves. I have experienced alot over these past couple of months...extreme pain...pain and more pain... than self induced happiness... and lung cancer...my final stand against a world that took my world from me...I am free from you my world...mi vida...you no longer control me I choose to cling cause it feels good. I have dealt with alot and i am changed no long the man I was before...yet through my rough exterior my former self shines through just a bit...here...and there. I no longer feel the same as soft as my chest was for my chest hardened to protect my heart from myself. I no longer taste the same as I used to...as it eats away my lungs i refuse treatment cause I am not happy! part of happiness is complition...the feeling or urge to be complete... how can someone that lost his love feel complete. Music shall set you free or so they say but I have learned that truth to be self evident that through practice and participation it shall...and as sheep many listen but never practice...thus losing the true meaning of it all...SELF-REALIZATION and I have realized, as states in Child of time "we'll take destiny and run far far away" but instead of "we" there is "I" cause "I" stands alone and "we" rots in the past as "I" lives now... so I take destiny...Mine!!!
why is everyone so anti-everything they live there lifes disliking something or someone...a way of life in todays society poluted by the mainstream touched by a genre that has a certain appeal. like a punch drunk fighter fisting away at everything you think your against..."I'm anti this....I'm anti that" but what are you really? what form of mainstream media hit you the most? you are just another puppet in the genre game...classification is the name of the game..."I'm this I'm that" how about being everything...judgement free. Block out the masses and you shall see the matrix of what is real the fabic of what reality is really made of. yes given the media paints pretty pictures that you "relate" to but you're eyes aren't always gateways to the soul, they are glorified kalidescopes allowing bright lights to pass for brights ideas...if you want more just ask and I will share my views.. I find myself in a utter state of disbelieve that there can actually be people more permiscuious that I. yet at the same time this life seems to draw me closer closer to the inevittable truth that I am truely alone in this world. lol I realized this Halloween night. Silence is my shield...I watch in silence as bodies touch and emotions subside...and the pounding of flesh is a symphony of pleasure. I watch in silence as we are forward,straight to the point and finding something interesting about the person on top of you...or below you. where makin love becomes sex and sex becomes the simple "f" sound in fffflesh. how in some weird and twisted way I liked it.the Biting, the punching, slapping and slaming into the floor...the insigificant pants and sighs and the bruising our own dirty little secret...how someone such as I...self-medicated, self-preserved, and tortured scared by the minial past of my childhood...a young man-boy trapped in a 23 yrold body which feels like 60. Incomplete and broken but oh how we find a hint of gold in each others souls.
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