Crimson Trauma's blog: "Crimson"

is really sad and pathetic as a whole.Maybe its just me but im sick and tired of getting wished a happy thanksgiving as if were supposed to be proud that the white man killed off the Native Americans.. Celebrating this day as an American holiday makes me sick your really celebrating the death of the Real Americans.. Your ancestors all came here killed off a race now you celebrate it whats next Iraq? We went there and killed a bunch of them. think about it lets celebrate the deaths of all the people we have killed in the name of greed!! yeah this journal ends here on the note that giving thanks for the things you stole or killed for is wrong on so many levels that you should all be disgusted with yourselves..

Updates galore today Today was a huge day at work for Crimson I remade myspace profile at www.myspace.com.crimsontrauma Also remade the entire layout for www.in-chained.com to make it run much smoother and easier to customize plus well i made it cuter images are getting stalled in definatly im moving from Raleigh and the wonderful Studio Skary and leaving lifestyle bondage behind i see it more asan artistic thing now then something to practice 24/7 This is not a hostile retreat from studio Skary or its Mistress Miss Alice its a decison I made.I will be settling off debt both mental and financial in the next few months and do hope to get some sets up but for now in-chained.com is going to be kinda a journal of sorts for stories and life details on what ive done or learned random pic updates might appear at times but sets will be stalled until further notice.. Love Crimson

these are the stats from my happy hr fiqured id post them im not sure about the whole people leveled and what not they say they will send you cause i havent gottwn an email from fubar support indicating anything yet or the percentage of points they give you for hosting it all details still coming these are based off the bar tab 175.000 points 140 new friends 10 profile comments 73 Profile ratings 8 drinks 118 fans 106 stash ratings 41 photo comments 275 photo ratings

It kinda sucks ive applied in like 100 places with no call backs as of yet trying to get into a better apartment then im in right now.still no solid internet but thats really my own fault for thinking with the whole i need a job thoughtsd and the holy shit im fat so imma walk 10 miles a day. but really i miss some people grrr help me find a job oh and ps www.in-chained.com has wishlists up and my birthday is coming soon (hint hint) blasts,happy hours are good Love Crimson

So ive been dreaming alot more about sets lately and have some amazing ideas and some pieces of ideas that im going to start posting here so you all can add what you want to them my mind is running on empty from working on rss news feeds and blogger templates all night but a few minutes ago i pictured a black straighjacket with neon pink straps . it was hott but i have no idea where to take it as a set?

Anal has been on my mind for awhile now but i was always afraid to try it for fear that it might cuase a horrible freak out and massive panic attacks. A few months back Miss Alice and I talked about it and decided to try it. She began teasing me alot with her finger over clothing then started to go under clothing to gauge my reactions which were always good. Finally after like 3 weeks of teasing me and watching me squirm around asking for it and begging her she finally used a dildo on my for the first time and it was good i had a minor freak out but it wasn't bad at all compared t normal.

So when Miss Alice came to my home here she brought 3 different sizes of anal plugs for us to play with which was amazing starting at the smallest one and working our way up to the largest one the week she was here. We played tons including a video we shot in a local public building intailing her spanking me with a butt plug in. Which we did lots and it was great.

I have been craving anal ever since she left and am going insane without it. I am so happy that me and Miss Alice can share this toghether and hope she comes back soon so we can do alot more with anal play in the near future.

I still have not takin a strap on but im sure this will change as soon as she returns or i return to her home as weve been talking in great detail about how much we want to film things and do shoots involving one.

I discoved bdsm at a young age and was instantly fascinated by the culture and way of life surrounding it. Always a computer geek at heart i was looking thru the history on a fiends computer when i came acrossed a website for handcuff bondage. I sat amazed at the beuaty involved in this art and everything about it. I began looking it up on a regular basis both online and in books. Before too long i was looking at my current Vanilla relationship and Determined my place in the lifestyle as a submissive. I looked into all my then relationships with friends and my current g/f and was definatly sure i was submissive based on how i acted around people.

I continued my vanilla relationship only touching upon light bdsm from time to time and always in a playful manner(like tying on another up and harassing tickling the other). This relationship continued until i was 18 when unfortunate events took her away from the world and myself. I spent a long time searching for myself and exactly how i wanted to be while traveling the country for awhile and met Autumn.

Taking a break from traveling Autumn would become my first real d/s relationship and allowed me to expand my limits to levels i had never even imagined. We talked constantly about how we could improve our lives behind closed doors and purchased my first cage which i fell in love with and stored in the living room of her apartment and a dog bed for her room so i could sleep at the foot of her bed when i was good.We spent months doing this and many other bdsm activities but in the end we had to call it quits becuase it wasn't satisfying her as much as she needed sexualy and she really wanted to explore her sexual tension towards women so we called it quits after about 9 months and i was back on the road.

I continued my search for awhile always coming up just short of what i needed in a partnet until i moved to my current home. I joined a group of college age kids in running a convention based purely on bdsm and then branched into other fetishes and discussed things with the general public. We took questions and even did live shows of some of the more basic practices. This is where i met up with my next domme. A crazy sexual deviant with no remorse for anything she does and no limits as too how much she can and will do to please herself. During one of our live shows she stood up walked to the stage grabbed my collar and pulled me off stage to her car to talk. I was so amazed at her ability to take control i gave myself up completely and became hers.

Everything went well for awhile buying toys running convention and having a domme at the house full time was great and we played tons trying to keep her sexual drive at bay but it was to no avail it was too strong of a dirve to be ignored that easy. The relationship continued until she decicded that being a domme wasn't something she could do full time and tried to go switch on me. My mind decayed and broke down at this thought and we ended the relationship quickly on bad terms. Over time we have repared this and are really good friends still to the day.

At this time Miss Alice Skary was talking to me about me becoming a full time slave which i gladly accepted and moved to her home a few months later we traveled around doing photoshoots and playing around the counrty but the traveling son got to me and i missed me stable friends back home. One of which was a cute little sub girl who i adored for helping my mind so much when i was here. I took a bus back home and hooked up with the sub. We had a fun relationship both sharing a cage her former master had gotten her but we never felt fully happy seeing is neither of us could domme the other one and be happy so we ended on a sour note.

I begged Miss Alice to take me bach which she did and we have been toghether ever since only briefly tsaking a break so i can stabilize my financial life so i can better serve her in the near future and not have the stress of having too much debt on my name to fully give up all control to her. Which hopefully will happen very soon as i pay off my debt and continue to write sets for us to make and different things we can do for play.

Sexuality

I had always been the strange child on the outside of the group sitting alone. Everything in life seemed so trivial to me that it wasn't worth speaking to my peers about anything. When most boys my age (around 13 or 14) were starting to think about sex and things of that nature i had no drive whatsoever to even think of a woman in that nature. My parents figured i was just late to start puberty but they couldn't have been further from the truth on that one.

I waited till i was 20 to actually have sex and it wasn't really even by choice that i did it just kinda happened one day, and instantly after-words i felt my mind begin to decay like i was dying it felt horrible. I got really depressed after-words and didn't talk for awhile just kinda laying there confused as to why my friends loved this act so damn much. I stayed with this girl for almost two years and actually managed to have a child with her before ending the relationship on a sour note.

I joined the Marines to re arrange my life and try to recover from all my past mistakes and regrets. Also figuring that a bunch of male energy and testosterone might snap me back t a normal mindset. I did in fact come out of the marines as a changed man but not the change anyone had expected. Instantly after coming out i moved in with Autumn and we begin discussing the possibilities of me getting a sex change cause clearly the whole male thing wasn't working out too well. This relationship was going greatly and actually is a large part of the reason i am who i am today. She brought my mind to a new level and drove a lot of my kinky parts out into the open a lot more. Never having sex with autumn and just having a lot of play time was great for awhile but it wasn't too long before we determined that without me getting the sex change she couldn't continue because she felt as tho she wasn't into it as much as she should be and that she really only liked girls.

This is when i went back to my former life on the internet and re found Miss Alice Skary who i had talked to years before any of this had happened and stayed in brief contact with this whole time. We had never really talked about fetishes or sexual tendencies until this time when i hooked up with a now ex-g/f who was a little bit violent and deranged to say the least. She has asked not to be named in this so i shall respect her on that as a former domme in my life.We lasted for awhile without sex just playing until she begin getting urges for sexual pleasure. It had been awhile by this point so i figured why not maybe i wont have the same reactions maybe it was something to do with the last girl i mean i was only at two at age 23. So we had sex a few times and my mind wasn't as bad as it had been before but still kinda out there for awhile.At this point in my life i was completely submissive which she decided to use to better her own life by whoring me out to her friends in order to pay her rent money. I was so disgusted at this time in sex in general i begin getting really depressed and physically ill with just the thought and began puking every-time i had an orgasm. SHe continued to use me to pay her bills. I bought some new toys for our personnel life made by the Lovely MIss Alice SKary,which we used a lot for awhile along with other hardcore abusive tactics causing dislocations of my arms and some small bloodshed (needless to say it was hot) but my mind finally decayed to much once she tried to switch on me and go sub.MY mind broke down and couldn't comprehend that she would go into a submissive role after everything we had done or discussed so we ended that relationship.

Once i got the new whip from Miss Alice we began talking a lot more about fetishes as she kinda watched from the side the relationship i had when i ordered it and we began talking about doing a 24/7 Master/slave relationship we talked for a few months before actually setting in on a date and i got on a bus to go and serve Miss Alice full time.Everything was great and the relationship was going good.taking pictures for the website talking in detail about limits and trying to overcome them but her life was too chaotic and i missed my house being on the road as much as we were at the time made me miss one of my friends too much so about 2 months into it i had to pack up and go try to talk things over with her.

This relationship was a mistake from day one two subs hooking up one with hideous emotional issues towards sex and the other a depraved Nymph with nothing better to do in her life but have sex.Although i was told many times this wouldn't work out i had to try anyways we had too many things that we had in common and too much love for one another to let it slip away without a thought.It lasted a few months then fell apart quickly because of sexual things and too much tension of being two subs we never got anything done.Lesson Learned.

I begged Miss Alice to take me back which fortunately she did a few months later and we have been off and on 24/7 ever since only currently taking a break so i can re stabilize my life and get my debt settled off so i can serve her better and with less stress in the near future. We talk as much as we can and also travel a lot to get sets done for both my site and her site at Skary LandI love her very much and am completely happy and content with how we live our lives and even the masses of Anal luvins that she gives me when we are together. I am entirely convinced that i have never been happier then when she is around me and that once my debt is gone that we will be together a lot more often and doing tons of deviant photo-shoots and videos for you all to enjoy

So today i was walking around in what i consider normal clothing for myself and people kept starring finally someone spoke to me about being a spectacle (i hate old people) it makes me kinda enjoy the people starring tho anyone in south dakota have a large cage they wanna drag on a chain around a college campus?