i'm not typically the type of person to choose sides when my friends have misunderstandings, cuz they certainly don't take sides when i'm the one in a mess. my neutrality is my scapegoat from drama, but in that sense its like -wow Lu, do you value you friendships enough to make a decision when its plainly obvious that one of these people is TOTALLY wrong?- when do i step up and make my choice? and why do i struggle so much with having to make that choice?

i guess i have never taken a side because i know the end result is the person i don't choose isn't going to like me anymore, will probably talk shit about me and perhaps whatever secrets i've shared with them will soon be known to the masses. i'll act like i don't care, that being disliked by someone doesn't bother me or that their words don't hurt. but ultimately...i hate that...i hate being disliked because i'm a pretty decent person. i'm a good friend and i'm loyal. i have my faults just like anyone else but i try really hard to fix them.

anway, i'm just rambling. jotting down some thoughts. i hate choosing sides...and like i said, i don't do it. but i am this time.