Over 16,526,038 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?
I need to let a few things off my chest, and I need to scream it out and maybe finally someone will start listen, though I doubt it. If they haven’t yet, they probably never will. And forwarning to people who hate reading pissy, whiny stuff then move along, cause this is one big rant that I hope blows up the planet.
I work my ass off every bit that I can. Sometimes it doesn’t show, but I always try my damndest. All I ever wanted, for as far back as I can think of, before I even realized this is what I was looking for was respect. Respect, and a little acknowledgment for all the work I put in. Don’t we all want that? Is it really that much to ask for?
Every job I’ve worked I’ve done everything I could within my power; I’d stay later, come earlier, switch with other peoples shifts so they can do whatever, I’d do whatever I was asked to do to the best of my ability, I’d even stay an extra 15 minutes just to make sure things are stocked or organized or whatever for the next people coming in behind me. I do this all day, every day. I know I’m too nice for my own good, but not only am I doing all this because I’m nice, I do it in the hopes that one of my bosses (not my coworkers, I’m often congratulated by my coworkers) might take notice. I’m not looking for a raise or a promotion, but when I do all this, I do hope that the one time I ask for something, it’s not much of a problem.
But like every job I have had, the one time I ask, even something as menial as asking for an earlier shift or shifting shifts with someone for one day, asking a week and a half in advance (unlike some who do it only a few days in advance), I get fucking jackknifed!
Don’t get it? Well let’s take today for example. My family and I have tickets to wrestling on the 15, which is freaking awesome. Unfortunately because of the times I work that day, unless I can change it I won’t be able to go. Why not just ask to cancel that shift you say? Well considering every month I cannot afford either my rent, my groceries, or a new bus pass to get around, let along the payments I need to make on my entertainment system, or all of the above, I can’t afford to miss a single shift. If it wasn’t for my parents I’d have been kicked out of my apartment months ago.
So I call up my boss, asking if I can move to a different time or switch with someone, considering how many other people I’ve covered for, I thought it would be no problem. Welcome to the double standards of retail ladies. She tells me there’s no way she can switch me to an earlier time cause the mornings are busy and I’m not strong enough on the registers (‘It’s hard to get stronger on the registers when you only put me on them MAYBE ONCE A MONTH YOU DUMB BITCH!’), and apparently she can’t switch my schedule with anyone else (‘why the fuck not, I cover for everybody else?”), and the only other thing she can do is cancel my shift (and we’ve already gone over this).
So as always, I work my ass off, thinking maybe this time someone uptop my notice, and I get the short stick up my ass. And all this only adds onto the misery that I’ve been hired on to another job for about 3 months now, and training STILL hasn’t started. I call them once a week to keep in touch, and about mid to late of the month they tell me “It’s looking like it will start next month”. How about in the next decade you cock suckers!?
All this just adds on to my misery. How could it get worse? Well let’s see, every day I am reminded in some way or another that even one of my own (the hypocritical one) sisters and my freakin’ mother have no confidence or respect for me. They don’t think I can handle this second job, which this sister actually told me about. Hell, they think I can’t even do watressing! One of the most remedial jobs I know, and I’ve practically done a job like it (there’s a lot more that goes on in Tim Hortons than anyone will EVER know)!! This sister thinks I’m an airhead and that I just scream ‘victim’ just by walking down the street. While I admit to being a flake sometimes, I am far from being an airhead. And I look like a victim? Please, if that’s the case then my other sister and even her should have been attacked before, because my other sister is just as demure and occasionally flaky as me, and this sister looks so strung out half the time she looks like a drug addicted, beaten woman who’s got too many kids and never takes care of them.
How’s a girl supposed to try and be strong and move forward when her own family thinks she can’t even do the simplest things? There are times when I actually wish I was already in school in Toronto right now, so I could be away from these fakes and even my family. And even if I had to turn into one of those tight-wad, snobby bitches in the big city, and least then I might gain a little respect. Right now thinking of Toronto and being with someone who means more than anything to me is about the only thing that keeps me going, and trying to ignore the rest of the world…
I guess that’s all I got to say, a lot more here then I thought. Say whatever you’d like; pity, condolescences, flames, it doesn’t matter. It’s your opinion.
