| subject: | Through The Eyes of a Crystal Meth Addict |
| post date: | 2007-05-17 12:33:56 |
| views: 161 comments: 7 ratings: 0 |
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I never really believed that I had it in me to be one of those
people you hope and pray your child will never grow up to be.
Yet without me even knowing it,
or without me even seeing it,
right before my very own eyes I grew up to be that person.
How did I not see this happening?
How did I, day by day, let this transformation take place
overtaking the beautiful person that I know I am?
Why did I let myself become a statistic of something I could
have undeniably avoided had I opened my eyes and done
what I knew was right from the beginning?
For fear of going against this new lifestyle I had become
accustom to
I became at nineteen years old
not only a crystal meth addict but a drug dealer as well.
And even though your whole life you've been taught right
from wrong,
and good from bad,
suddenly the wrong doesn't really seem all that wrong
and the bad doesnt exist anymore because it's been cloaked
by excuse after excuse
in hope to actually fool ourselves into believing that whatever
we did was never really bad at all, but only necessary for
survival.
I never remember, when I was younger anybody making it a
point to let me know that all the things they've told me
I should never grow up to be, could become an actual reality
within my grasp
and not just something so unattainable that it's only a mere
idea of something we know nothing about at all.
I however have had the unfortunate experience of witnessing
things that most people can only imagine in their nightmares
and don't ever want to know really exist.
For some reason, we at some point start to forget everything
we have been taught our entire lives
and have started to live according to the law of the streets.
Abiding by new guidelines and following new rules
which if broken are punishable by whatever the game feels fit,
not necessarily fair.
Living in a world where what's familiar are drugs, gangs and
violence changes a persons very character so quickly
it's as if they were just reborn but only completely opposite
of what they were before.
Then right before your eyes as if it had always been there
and you just never saw it,
you become somebody who is numb to most feelings,
and unaware that your natural ability to have compassion for
another person only resides somewhere deep down inside you.
Making you less like a human and more like an unemotional
machine.
Incapable of knowing or understanding the simple concept of
a real friend.
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