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I think this blog willl be the hardest one I have ever written. I know at times people often sit and wonder exactly how they will say each thing, and here I am finding myself at a huge loss. I am at such a loss and so confused about my pure existance right now. I know that some of you who read this just will not understand how I am feeling, but on the other hand I bet there will be some that will be like, "Oh yeah I know exactly how she feels!" I guess I should begin since I do have so much on my mind right now.
You see awhile back ago I kind of gave up on love, I ended up in the hospital over it and everything. My so called fiancee had deeply killed who I was and who I wanted to become. She was everything to me, my life and yeah I see now that I just held on too tight. When she just up and abandoned me I thought what the hell there is no such thing as in love. I wanted to give up. But then I met someone, someone that I see as a perfect angel. Only problem is we live so far apart and it tears me up knowing that if her or I never move closer we will never be together. I want the chance to be together now but I am so worried that if I did say so what we do have together will be ruined. How does one take such a risk, it is a gamble that is for sure and I being so worried about alot am such not the gambling type.
You know those magic 8 balls that supposedly can, 'predict' your future (what a laugh I know) I really wish I could ask it my secret question and boom have it answered for me. Or better yet some caller you dont know that you could randomly call up and ask stupid questions, they would look in a book and tell you if it was wise or not. Life sux bollox all the time, especially for those that do not take risks. I just guess I wish she felt and wanted the same that I do. If anyone has any advice I am honestly and truly willing to listen.
Lost in complete confusion,
Summer
