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Dream's blog: "Because..."

created on 12/21/2007  |  http://fubar.com/because/b170318

Blind Cowboy

An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake...

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

'Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy.... Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times............'

The Marine

A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed some missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was a vowed atheist and a member of the ACLU. One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes." The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am God. I'm still waiting." It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, "What the hell is the mater with you? Why did you do that?" The Marine calmly replied, "God was too busy today protecting America's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an asshole. So, he sent me." Photobucket

Live & Learn

People walk in and out of our lives every day. It is those that stay that mean the most, but those that don’t are a part of our lives every day after they walk out as well. We learn from every person we meet whether it be good or bad. If you don’t think you have learned from the people in your life, either it a brief moment or continuous then look deep inside you and find the scars that some have left and remember the ones that were healed by those probably still in your life. We are all guarded with scars from others and the people that heal the hurt of these scars are the people that you need in your life and will be in your life for eternity. Living with no regrets and learning from everything one does keeps us guarded, but learning when to let someone tend to the wounds left by others makes us prepared to be loved. ~Dream~

Him

I want... Someone who will love me for me, faults and all... Someone who can't sleep without being his last call... Someone who wants to be my last goodnight and my first hello... Someone who will hold my hand and not ever let go... Someone who means it when he says I will leave you never... Someone who looks into my eyes and sees his forever... ~Dream~
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