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- [ A a ] - # 69:Slang for mutual oral stimulation by two individuals. # A Spot:An erogenous zone located in the anus near the prostate. # Ablutophilia:A paraphilia where an individual is unusually sexually excited by baths or showers. # Abuse:To cause physical or psychological harm. # Acquaintance Rape : Forced sexual intercourse by someone familiar to the victim. # Acrophilia : Sexual arousal from being in high places. # Adelphogamy: A marriage in which brothers share their wives. # Adult : An individual who is considered an adult, particularly by law. # Adult Entertainment : Sexually explicit or graphic material designed to be viewed by adults. # Adult Novelties : Synonym for adult toys. # Adult Toy : A device (like a vibrator or dildo) that is designed to increase sexual pleasure. # Adult Toy Cleaner : A special cleaning solution, usually with antibacterial properties, that is used to clean sex toys. # Adulterer : A person who commits adultery. # Adultery : A voluntary sexual encounter between a married man and someone other than his wife or between a married woman and someone other than her husband. # Agraphobia : The morbid fear of sexual abuse. # AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome) : A set of conditions associated with advanced stages of HIV disease. # AIDS Dementia : The mental deterioration associated with advanced stages of HIV disease. # Albutophilia : Sexual arousal from water. # Anal Balloon Pump: An inflatable sex toy that is designed to be inserted into the anus and inflated, giving the user control over the size of the toy. # Anal Balls:A set of balls, usually connected by a string, which create sexual pleasure when inserted into the anus and then removed. # Anal Beads:A string of balls which are designed to be inserted into the anus and pulled out for sexual stimulation. Some anal beads contain a small vibrator or vibrating egg. # Anal Dildo:A dildo that is designed to be inserted anally. Most anal dildos are flared at the base for safety, unlike regular dildos. # Anal-Eze:A brand name lubrication that includes a desensitizing agent which slightly numbs the anus. # Anal Intercourse:A form of sexual intercourse where the penis is placed inside the anus. # Anal Lube:Lubrication that is specifically designed for anal use. # Anal Sex:Sexual intercourse involving Insertion of the penis or another object into the anus. # Anal Plug:A device (usually made of silicone, jelly or rubber) that provides sexual pleasure when inserted into the anus. # Anal Probe:Synonym for anal vibrator or anal plug. # Anal Sex Toy:A sex toy designed to stimulate the anus. Anal toys usually have a flared base for safety. # Anal Vibrator:A vibrator designed to stimulate the anus. Anal vibrators are usually flared at the base as opposed to standard vibrators, which are not flared. # Analingus:Kissing or penetrating the anus with the tongue. # Animal Training: fantasy play in which one partner is an animal trainer and the other is the animal. Ponyplay and dogplay are the two most popular forms this takes. Fantasies including obedience training, exercise training,paper-training (in dogplay), harnessing and riding (in ponyplay), and so on. # Arouse: To create sexual interest, either by physical or mental stimulation. # Asexual: Absence of physical attraction to the same or opposite sex. # Asphyxophilia: A condition in which sexual arousal becomes dependent on being strangled up to the point of passing out. # Autoeroticism: Self-stimulation of the genitals or other areas of the body for the purpose of sexual gratification. # Autofellatio: Performing oral sex on one's own penis. # Autogynephilia: Arousal from cross dressing. # Autosadism:Inflicting pain on oneself for sexual gratification. - [ B b ] - # Ball Gag:Toy used in BDSM play to prevent a sub from speaking. Mouth pieces are usually made from a rubber ball that is jammed between a submissive teeth and secure in place by a strap or a little string. Could be made of plastic or leather too. # Battery Powered Vibrator:A vibrator that gets its power from batteries. # BDSM: Bondage Domination Sado Masochism, Term for activities of BDSM: Name of a lifestyle shared by many people. The word BDSM is a combination of 3 acronyms, BD for Bondage Discipline, DS for Domination and Submission and SM for Sado Masochistic. people who share this lifestyle believe in having a relationship where one of the people by mutually agreed upon conscent is in a position of Power/Domination the other person in this relationship. This relationship could be for a brief moment (a scene) or for a longer period of time (permanent relationship). # Bear: a hairy, often large-sized, and typically cigar-smoking man. # Ben-Wa Balls:A pair of balls - usually encapsulated by a plastic or ceramic coating. The balls are intended to be placed inside the vagina where they create pleasurable sensations by gently knocking against each other. # Bestiality: Sexual contact between humans and animals. # BFP: A BDSM abbreviation for bound for pleasure. # Bi: Abbreviation for bisexual. # Bi Curious:A term for someone who is curious about or willing to experiment with bisexual activities. # Bi-Kinky: someone who is heterosexual when it comes to penetration, but who will do SM with same-sex partners # Blood Sports: A group of techniques in which the sub's skin is cut # Body service: when a submissive takes care of all the dominant's bodily needs, acting as a trained servant in bathing, shaving, hair-styling, manicures, pedicures, and other hygiene and grooming rituals. # Body worship: oral service (including licking, sucking and kissing) by a submissive to the dominant Implies no taboos or inhibitions about oral contact with any and all body parts. # Bondage: A group of techniques for rendering a submissive physically helpless # Bottom: person who receives pain or bondage in an SM scene, but who may or may not have a power relationship with the top. Also used as a verb ("to bottom"). # Branding :Meaning to burn or scar the skin. Can be part of a BDSM sex ritual. # Brazilian:A waxing where most or all the pubic hair is removed # Brat, bratting: Term for a sub who tries to get the attention of a Dom/me by stiring up trouble. Mostly online type submissives. # Breath Control: a form of edgeplay in which the top restricts the bottom's ability to breathe, either by constricting the neck or by blocking the mouth or nose. It's important to point out that this is done for extremely tiny intervals, and seldom to the point of unconsciousness # Bullwhip: A long, heavy leather whip # Butt Plug: A sex toy designed for anal penetration. Most adult toys that are designed to be used anally are flared at the base. # Butterfly Vibrator: A small vibrator designed to be worn directly against the vulva and/or clitoris, which is secured in place by leg or waist straps. - [ C c ] - # C&B Torture:BDSM term - abbreviation for cock & ball torture. # C2C:Acronym for "Cock to Cock" - a general term meaning gay sex. # Cane: Usually a 15-45 inch long stick used for spanking techniques # Captivity:A BDSM term for holding a willing partner in servitude. # Carnal Knowledge:To know someone sexually, usually referring to sexual intercourse # Chastity Belt:A belt worn to prevent access to the genitals, specifically to prevent sexual intercourse # Clamps: Toy used in S&M play. kind of clamp like clothespin, to pinch areas of the body such as the breast or lips of the cunt. # Climax:The point at which orgasm is achieved. # Clit:Abbreviation for clitoris. # Clitoral Hood:The small flap of skin that covers and protects the clitoris. # Clitoral Stimulator:A vibrator that is designed to stimulate the clitoris. # Clitoral Vibrator:A vibrator that is designed to stimulate the clitoris. # Clitoris:The small, nerve-dense area of skin located between labia on the upper part of the vagina. # Cock Ring:A device such as a leather strap or rubber ring that is placed at the base of the penis in order to restrict blood flow and lengthen the duration of an erection, or to prolong ejaculation. # Cock Tease:Slang for someone who intentionally sexually arouses a male but does not follow through with sexual activity. # Collar: Term used in the BDSM to say that someone is "collared" to a Dominant (means that the person wearing the collar belongs or Owned to a Dominant). # Community: A blanket term used to refer to the organized SM/fetish communities, including the thousands of leather clubs, SM venues (bars and play-spaces), educational outreach groups, social clubs, support groups, and all other organizations which openly celebrate SM/fetish sex. The Community does not include everyone who is interested in kink but is limited to those who actively seek out and maintain close social contact with other kinky people through groups and organizations. # Consensual:An agreement made between parties for a certain activity. Usually pertaining to sex. # Contract: A written agreement about the rights and duties of the D/s partners. Those contracts do not have any meaning in terms of law, but they are often used to define the relationship. # Crop: Riding Crop used for spanking techniques # Cyber: Refer to type of play or relationship which is "online" or only through the use of internet. (Some people refer to the usage of phone as "online" too). - [ D d ] - # Daddy: Anyone who assumes a paternal/mentoring role with a submissive or bottom and, in that role, expresses a masculine identity. # Date Rape:Forceful sexual contact with an unwilling partner, usually preceded by social interaction or foreplay # Discipline:The other part of Bondage (B&D) that could also mean punishment or a structured training of a submissive. # Doggy Style:Slang for sexual intercourse where the male penetrates the female from behind. # Domestic Partnership:A committed relationship between two people who live together, but are unmarried. # Dominant, Dom, Domme, Domina, Dominatrix:The person who is in charge in a BDSM relationship. If the person is a male is called Dominant or Dom; if is a female is called a Domme, Domina or Dominatrix. # Double Dong:A two-sided dildo, where either end can be inserted. # Double Penetration:When a woman is penetrated by two men simultaneously; one in the vagina and one in the anus. # Dry Humping: Slang for simulating intercourse by rubbing up against a partner while fully clothed. # Dual-Action Vibrator:A vibrator designed to stimulate both the clitoris and vagina simultaneously. Dual action vibrators often perform more than one function. For example, some dual action vibrators have rotating shafts as well as vibrating clitoral stimulators that can be adjusted separately. # Dual-Purpose Vibrator:A vibrator designed to stimulate both the clitoris and vagina simultaneously. Usually referring to a vibrator that consists of a traditional shaft, with a clitoral stimulating fixture attached to the shaft that rotates and stimulates the clitoris during use. # Dual Vibrator:A vibrator designed to stimulate both the clitoris and vagina simultaneously. # Dungeon: any space set aside for SM activity, public or private, and furnished with some SM equipment. Not all dungeons have large-scale equipment--home dungeons, because of space limitations, may have only small toys. # DVDA: Penetration of a woman simultaneously by four men; Abbreviation for "double vagina, double anal". # Dyke: Once known as a derogatory term for lesbian, some in the lesbian community now uses the term casually. # Dystychiphilia:A Paraphilia where someone gets pleasure from accidents. # Dysuria:Painful or difficult urination, often caused by a sexually transmitted disease. - [ E e ] - # Edgeplay: These are particularly dangerous that are looked upon with some trepidation - Often techniques which include bloodsports and asphyxia # Egalitarian Family:A family where the power is shared equally between the male and the female. # Egg Vibrator:A small but often powerful vibrator that is shaped like a small egg. # Ejaculation: The process during orgasm where semen is emitted forcefully through the penis. # Electroplay/Electrotorture: Using electrical devices for stimulation. # Endorphin: Hormone secreted by the body, when experiencing pain. The body's natural painkiller. Creates a euphoria effect on the person receiving the pain. It permits that person to receive more pain because endorphin has analgesic effect. When a person is under the influence of endorphins, usually it is said that he or she is in "subspace". # Enema: An instrument or injecting fluid into the anus to flush the lower intestines. # Engorgement: The process of filling with blood, such as a penis during an erection or a clitoris during arousal. # Erectile Dysfunction: The lack of blood flow to the penis causing the inability to achieve an erection. # Erectile Tissue : Tissue with blood vessels that fill with blood during sexual arousal. The penis and the clitoris contain erectile tissue. # Erection : The rigid state of sex organs that contain erectile tissue. The penis is said to be erect when the erectile tissue is engorged with blood. # Erection Enhancer: Any device worn around the penis in order to prolong or improve the quality of an erection. # Erection Ring: A small, circular apparatus that is worn around the penis and provides added stamina by restricting blood flow from the penis back to the body. # Erection Stimulator: A device, usually a strap or ring, that is worn around the penis to enhance erection. Erection Stimulators can contain small egg vibrators or micro-vibrators, which provide added stimulation. # Erogenous Zone: Any area of the body that when stimulated creates positive sexual sensations. Common erogenous zones include the genitals, breasts, nipples, and anus. # Erotic: A term meaning sexually stimulating or sexually arousing. # Erotic Dreams: Dreams, which are sexual in nature - usually explicit sexual dreams. # Erotic Restraint: When movement is restricted for erotic play. # Erotica: Sexually explicit literature, pictures or film. # Exhibitionist: A person who gets sexual pleasure by displaying their body or performing sexual activity in front of others. - [ F f ] - # Facial: Slang for ejaculating on someone's face. # Face Sitting: Slang for the practice of a woman sitting on a man's face, smothering him. # Fake Orgasm: Pretending to have an orgasm on order to satisfy a partner. # Fellatio:The act of kissing, licking, or sucking the male genitals with the lips and tongue. # Fem:A description of a person or action that possesses feminine characteristics. # Female Ejaculation:When a woman ejects fluid from her vagina during orgasm. # Female Sexual Arousal Disorder:The persistent or recurrent inability to attain or maintain sexual excitement. # Female Sexual Dysfunction:The persistent inability to attain or maintain adequate genital lubrication. # Femdom:A woman who takes the role of the dominant participant in B&D activities. # Fetish: A fixation on an activity, an object, or on part of the body. # Fetish Clothing: Revealing or sexually enticing clothing usually made of latex, rubber or leather. # Finger / Fingering: To stimulate the vagina with the fingers. # Finger Fuck:Slang for female masturbation or inserting one's fingers into the vagina. # Fisting: Penetration of the vagina or anus using the fist/hand. # Flagellation: Whipping or beating until orgasm is achieved. # Flogger: A multi strap/string whip, straps/strings are usually up to 20 inch long and made of leather or rubber # Fondle: To touch a part of another person's body, usually in a sexual way. # Foot Fetish: A Sexual obsession toward feet or shoes. # Foot Job: Rubbing the penis with the feet until ejaculation. # Foot-play: Erotic interactions with feet and all forms of foot fetishism # Foot worship: Also called "foot service." Oral service (licking, kissing, sucking) to bare feet. # Forced Feminization: this is when a Dominatrix (or sometimes a Male Dominant) "forces" a submissive man into feminine clothes. # Foreplay: Any action that causes sexual excitement before sexual intercourse. Common actions that can be considered foreplay are touching, kissing and fondling. # Foreskin: The roll of skin which covers and protects the head of the penis of an uncircumcised male. # Fornication: Sexual intercourse outside of marriage. # French Maid: Fantasy role-play in which the submissive (male or female) is dressed in a "french maid's uniform" and serves food, drinks, and so on. The uniform usually comprises a very short, one piece dress, often made of fetish material; a frilled petticoat; a frilly apron; stockings and high-heels; and other frou-frou (such as a lacy headpiece, lace wrist-cuffs, and white gloves). - [ G g ] - # G-Spot: Synonym for the Grafenberg Spot, which is located in the upper wall of the vagina and is reported to be particularly pleasurable when stimulated. # G-Spot Vibrator: A vibrator specifically designed to stimulate the G-Spot. These vibrators are usually curved at the tip. # G-String / G String: Thong type underwear worn by women. # Galactorrhea: Breast milk secretion in a woman who is not currently breast-feeding. # Gang Bang / Gangbang: Slang for many men having sex with one woman simultaneously, or in rapid succession. # Glory Hole:Slang for a hole, usually in a wall, in which a man inserts his penis that is stimulated manually or orally by someone on the other side. # Golden Screw: When a man urinates inside a woman during intercourse. # Golden Shower: A humiliation technique where the Dominant urinates on the submissive. Also The Marking of a slave. # Gorean Master: a Male Dominant who adopts the code and style of life as portrayed by the GOR books of John Norman # Greek / Greek Sex: Slang for anal sex. # Grope: Slang for manually stimulating someone's genitals. # Group Sex: Simultaneous and mutual sexual activity between three or more individuals. # Gymnophobia: The fear of nudity. # Gynophobia: A fear of women. # Gynotikolobomassophilia: A paraphilia where a person derives becomes extremely aroused by a woman's earlobe. - [ H h ] - # Hand Job: Slang for stimulating the genitals of a partner with your hands. # Hands Free Vibrator: A vibrator that straps around the legs or waist and usually stimulates the clitoris. Common forms are butterfly vibrators and venus vibrators. # Haptephilia: A paraphilia where a person is extremely aroused by being touched. # Hard Core: When referring to pornography, it means that the material shows penetration and/or ejaculation. # Hard-on: Slang for an erection of the penis. # Hardcore: Graphic sexual pictures, movies etc. which, by definition, show sexual penetration. # Harness: A device that is worn around the waist, which attaches to or can be attached to a dildo. Harness compatible dildos are either flared at the base or connect to the harness with snaps. # HD: A BDSM abbreviation for humiliation and discipline. # Head-play: Also known as "mind-play, mind games, head games, head trips, and mind-fucking." This means any kind of manipulation by the top which heightens anticipation and fear in an emotionally masochistic bottom and thus intensifies the bottom's erotic response. This includes everything from "verbal abuse" to complex scenarios that confuse or surprise the bottom into deeper "sub-space." A "mind-fuck" (deliberately misleading a partner into believing something horrible is about to happen). # Hedonist: A person who dedicates a significant amount of time to the pursuit of physical pleasure. # Hedonophobia: The fear of pleasure. # Hentai: Japanese adult erotic art or animation. # Heterosexual: A person who prefers sexual activity with members of the opposite sex. # Homoeroticism: A desire to have sex with, or an attraction to members of the same sex. # Homophobia: The fear of homosexuals and/or homosexuality. # Homosexology: The study of homosexuals. # Homosexual: A person who prefers sexual activity with members of the same sex. # Humiliation: Part of the erotic control to humble someone by teasing him or her about their sexual desires. # Hypersexual: Having an extremely large sex drive. # Hypersexual: Having an insatiable need for sexual activity. # Hyposexuality: Little or no sexual desire. # Hysteromania: An unusually large sexual appetite in women. - [ K k ] - # Kajira: This fictional term for "slavegirl" derives from the GOR series, and denotes women who attempt to live by the standard set in the books. # Kegal / Kegal Exercise: A form of exercise where the pelvic muscles are tightened repeatedly to strengthen them after childbirth. # Kinesophilia: A paraphilia where a person derives sexual pleasure from exercise. # Kinky: Slang for sexual activity that is considered to be outside the norm. # Kink-Friendly: This describes someone who, while not necessarily kinky him or herself, is nonetheless sympathetic and supportive to kinky people. A "kink-friendly therapist," for example, is someone who has a permissive view of kinky sex. "Kink-friendly" is also used to describe businesses which welcome leather people as customers. # Kleptophilia: A paraphilia in which sexual arousal is dependent on stealing. # Knismolagnia: Sexual arousal from being tickled. # KY Jelly: A water soluble lubricant, often used during sexual activity. - [ L l ] - # Labia: The external folds of skin that make up the outer portion of the vagina. # Labia Majora: The larger, outer lips of the vulva. # Labia Minora: The smaller, inner lips of the vulva. # Lap Dance: A form of adult entertainment where a woman dances provocatively in the "lap" of a customer, often while wearing little or no clothing. # Leather Culture: The united societies of men and women (largely gay and lesbian, but increasingly open to bisexuals and heterosexuals) who embrace the traditions, ethics and pride of open involvement in the leather Scene. This may include (and isn't limited to): active participation in leather society and politics, the wearing of black leather, formation of leather "families". # Leather Family:A surrogate, adults-only family comprised of lovers, friends, and sometimes mentors who share compatible sexual interests and socio-political goals. Leather families share deep, binding, and sometimes spiritual commitments to one another based on their joint devotion to all things leather. The famous phrase cited by lesbian SM activist and scholar, Gayle Rubin, sums it up best: "leather is thicker than blood." # Leathermen/Leatherwomen: Long used to refer specifically to gay or lesbian leatherpeople, but now used more generally to apply to all people committed to leather culture. (Lesbian leatherwomen may also refer to themselves as leatherdykes.) # Leg Restraint:A bondage item that is used to restrain the legs. # Leg Spreader:A bondage item consisting of a metal bar and leg shackles on each end. A leg spreader is used to prevent an individual from closing their legs. # Lesbian:A female who prefers sexual activity with members of the same sex. # Libido:A Freudian term used to describe a person's sexual desire or drive. # Lifestyle: when used with "the," it usually refers to "the leather lifestyle," meaning people who embrace all aspects of leather culture in their dress, their sexual politics, their social commitments, their traditions, and their sex lives. "Being in the lifestyle" is not the same as "being a lifestyler," because someone "in the lifestyle" or "in the life" could be single or otherwise uninvolved in a full-time SM relationship. # Lifestylers: people who assume their dominant, submissive, top or bottom roles as a way of life. Lifestyle relationships are role-based, but not role-play. Many lifestylers are not "in the lifestyle" in that they do not participate in the organized SM Scene, but instead conduct their SM relationships in privacy at home. # Limits: The basic set of physical or other limits that the bottom sets during negotiation. For example, if a bottom does not like anything more painful than erotic spanking, she may set a pain "limit" that rules out whippings and other intense stimuli. (See chapter on submissives.) Dominants too have limits on how far they wish to go with a submissive. Hard Limits:The maximum edge of someone's negotiated limit. In some cases, a hard limit is a personal choice; in others, it is a necessity to safeguard the submissive's health. For example, if the submissive is allergic to latex, any latex product is a "hard limit." *Pushing Limits: By consent, submissives agree to let the Dominant push him or her to a limit and slightly beyond. Most commonly this occurs when the submissive believes his limits stem from an irrational fear that he hopes the Dominant will help him to overcome. *Rrespecting Limits: A fundamental ethic among kinky people is to treat limits as a sacred trust, and never to violate the submissive's trust by non-consensually exceeding their limits. *Stretching Limits:Many submissives want to see progress in their submission and hope to be able to engage in increasingly more intense sex. When Dominants consensually "stretch" limits, they guide submissives gradually to be able to reach their goal by pushing their limits. A Dominant's limits usually stretch over time too, usually as the Dominant gains increasingly self-confidence, experience, and skill with equipment. # Lolita: Slang for an underage girl who has sex with older Men. # Lubricant: A lotion or jelly designed to decrease friction. During sexual activity, a lubricant can be used to aid intercourse or masturbation. # Lust: Intense feelings of sexual desire, usually directed towards another person. - [ M m ] - # M/s: A BDSM abbreviation for master and slave. # Maniaphilia: An attraction to insane people. # Marital Device: Synonym for sex toy, usually a vibrator or dildo. # Marital Rape: Forced or unwanted intercourse within marriage. # Marital Relations: Sexual intercourse between two people who are married (to each other). # Masculine: Characteristics and behaviors that are associated with men. # Masochism: The act of becoming sexually stimulated by pain, discipline or humiliation. # Master: The person in control during S&M or B&D role-play. # Mastigophilia: A paraphilia where a person is extremely aroused by punishment. # Mentor: A teacher, advisor - both subs and Dom/mes make use of a Mentor at certain times, at least it might be helpful and wise to do so. # Messy: Usually used in combination with "wet" ("wet and messy"). Refers to a fetish for being covered, or having one's clothes covered, with wet, messy substances--typically mud or oil, but can also include body wastes or gooey foods (honey, chocolate syrup, ice cream, and so on). "Messy sex" means the people like to get gooey and get it on. # Mind-games: See "Headplay." # Missionary / Missionary Position / Missionary : Sex The traditional sexual practice of the woman lying on her back while the man penetrates her from above. # Mistress:Name for a woman who takes control in the SM role-play. # MM:Abbreviation for mutual masturbation. Two people who stimulate each other's genitals at the same time, or who stimulate their own genitals simultaneously are engaging in mutual masturbation. # Molestation: Unwelcome touching or fondling. # Monogamous: To be committed to a single partner. # Munch: A discreet social gathering of BDsM people, usually in a restaurant, with the people dressed in "regular clothing". People usually exchange tricks and beliefs about the BDsM lifestyle, in a non threatening situation. A great way to meet others in the BDsM lifestyle safely. # Mummification: A form of bondage where the passive part is wrapped up more or less completely - [ N n ] - # Narratophilia: A paraphilia where a person is extremely aroused by erotic conversations. # Necrophilia: A paraphilia where a person is extremely aroused by deceased individuals. # Negotiation: The art and science of reaching a clear, consensual agreement with your adult partner about the type of relationship you will have and the kinds of kinky things you will do together. The negotiation process lasts as long as the couple needs to hammer these things out--it could be days, weeks, months or even years. Couples also may re-negotiate terms periodically as their relationship evolves and their needs change. "Negotiating a scene" involves a much narrower type of dialogue, in which partners only decide on what they will do during a scene. # New Guard:A recent movement in the Scene which embraces many traditional Old Guard standards and updates them with some freer-flowing and more permissive attitudes towards role-playing, lifestyle, and pansexuality which are more responsive to the needs of younger people entering the Scene. Sometimes called Next Guard (to signify the youngest generation of traditional leatherpeople). # Novelty Item: Usually refers to adult toys such as vibrators, dildos, cock rings, love dolls etc. # Nyctophilia: A paraphilia where someone is extremely aroused by darkness or night. # Nymphomaniac: Slang for a woman who desires frequent sex or sex with many different partners. - [ O o ] - # Old Guard: The nearly mythic, exclusively gay male, loosely organized network of leather clubs (circa 1940s-1950s) which established the rituals and mores of leather culture. Old Guard members took a highly regimented, quasi-militaristic approach to leathersex, and organized a tight, profoundly interconnected community based on solidarity in leather diversity. The Old Guard is frequently seen as a phenomenon of the older generation (men now in their 60s and 70s) and thus considered, in some quarters, as outdated. At the same time, it is held in high reverence by those who stand in awe of the structure that the Old Guard created and passed on. Indeed, the Old Guard was a revolutionary movement. While the Old Guard itself was never a monolithic group but a series of clubs and leather families which instituted individual rules, the Old Guard influence has been profound within the Scene. Many of today's SM traditions derive from the Old Guard, from the superficial (leather dress and types of toys) to the philosophical (standards on what constitutes a moral SM relationship). Some people view Old Guard traditions as the only pure model for leathersex. There are a handful of Old Guard "tribes" around the globe (particularly in the US and Europe). Some have opened their arms to embrace the new, more pansexual SM population into its ranks. Ironically, the trendiness of kinky sex has caused a minor resurgence in interest in Old Guard traditions. # Open Relationship: The term for a relationship in which both partners have agreed to date or have sex with other people. # Oral: Short for oral sex # Oral Contraceptive: Another term for a birth control pill. # Oral Sex: The act of stimulating the genitals with the tongue, lips or mouth. # Orgasm: A discharge of neuromuscular tension at the peak of sexual arousal that is usually accompanied by the ejaculation of semen in the male and by vaginal contractions in the female. # Outercourse: Sexual Activity that does not include inserting the penis in the vagina or anus. - [ P p ] - # Paddle: A flat instrument used for spanking purposes - mostly made of leather or wood - sometimes with airholes for a better effect. # Pain Slut: a heavy masochist (male or female) # Pain Threshold: The limit at which pain ceases to be pleasure and becomes undesirable for the submissive or bottom. # Panic Snap: A linking device used with cable or chain that allows two lengths to be disconnected even when there is tension in the system. A safety device # Pansexual: A person who is attracted to all genders and all forms of sex. # Panty Training: This is when a Dominant "forces" a male submissive to wear panties and other embarrassing bits of feminine lingerie, both to cross-dress and humiliate him. # Penetrate / Penetration: To enter a body cavity, such as the vagina or anus, with any object. Usually refers to sexual intercourse. # Percussion play: An umbrella term used to describe all forms of striking. Spanking, paddling, slapping, whipping, flogging and caning are all types of percussion play. # Permanent v. play piercing: A permanent piercing refers to the implantation of body jewelry (such as nipple rings). A play piercing is a form of radical SM play in which needles or other piercing implements are temporarily inserted in flesh, either as part of a ritual (sometimes spiritual) or for the erotic pleasure of the pain it brings. # Play-partner: Generally refers to anyone with whom one has BDSM encounters but more specifically implies a casual, for-kinky-sex only friendship and not a committed, romantic relationship. # Play-Space/Playroom: alternate term for a dungeon. Any space regularly used for SM scenes. # Ponygirl: A submissive trained to act like a pony # Positions: See also Slave Positions # Power exchange:The consensual transfer of power by the submissive to the Dominant. The exchange takes place when the returned energy from the Dominant empowers the submissive # Protector: A protector is one who is entrusted with the care of another's sub/slave - A protector is also one who will take the place of the Master/Mistress at any function the Master cannot attend. # Puppy: The submissive or bottom in an animal play relationship. # Pushy (or Greedy) Sub: Usually used playfully in reference to a submissive who likes a lot of play, and will act naughty to get the Dominant to take action. It can also be used to refer to submissives who push so hard that they turn dominants off. # Pussy Fart: Slang for expelling air from the vagina. # Pussy Whipped: Slang for a male who is too afraid to confront his girlfriend or wife. - [ R r ] - # R/L or R/T: Real life or real time. # Rape: Forced sexual intercourse without consent. # Rapid Orgasm: When a woman has an orgasm quickly before her partner and loses interest in further sexual contact. # Rim / Rimming: Slang for licking the anus with the tongue. # Room Slut: Constantly Throws Themselves At AnyOne In The ChatRoom With "Master Or Sir" In Their Bio.These Are Wanna-be submissives With No Moral Decency. - [ S s ] - # Safe, Sane and Consensual (or Safe, Sane, and Mutually Consensual: the fundamental ethical standard of kinky sex. It means that all activity between adults should be "safe" (no form of pain or stimulation that causes harm), "sane" (with respect for both body and mind), and consensual (all partners involved are adults who are able to give informed consent). First formulated by David Stein, for GMSMA # Safeword: A word, phrase or sign the participants agree on which has the meaning of a stopsign - all play has to stop immediately when this sign is given. # SAM: The acronym for "smart ass masochist;" a bottom or submissive who likes to verbally tease and otherwise act feisty with a Dominant, usually in hopes of a little extra discipline. # Scat: Also known as scat-play, refers to excrement. Poop, to put it more plainly. This may include enemas, brown showers, watching or being watched while expelling, being ordered to soil one's pants (or ordering someone), and to eat feces. You can't eat poop without putting yourself at risk of disease. Human feces, is infested with bacteria. Bacteria is what breaks food down and turns it into waste in our alimentary canals. Those bacteria remain alive in our waste after our bodies eliminate it. A bacterial infection transmitted by ingesting feces can be fatal. There is no absolute way to protect yourself against getting one. # Slave: A person who gives the control to another person (Dom/me, Top) Sometimes used the same way as the term sub, some ppl distinguish a sub from a slave by pointing out that a slave doesn't have the possibility to chose her/his destiny. # Slave contract: A document written cooperatively by the Dominant and the submissive in which the negotiated terms of their relationship are set out in clear language. Contracts are usually term-limited: 3 months, 6 months, a year. Some couples sign permanent contracts, vowing a lifetime commitment. # Spanking: The application of stimuli with canes, whips, paddles, crops or even the bare hand which, outside of a scene, would be considered painful. # Spreader Bar: A bar of any kind of material (usually wood or metal) used to keep two body part (legs or wrist) away from each other. Used in bondage play. # Submissive (sub): A person who gives the control to another person (Dom/me, Top) # subspace: A state of mind and body - often like a trance - some describe it as flying/drifting- caused by endorphins emitted during an intense scene or stress. # Switch: A person who switches roles between submissive and Dominant. Not true to either roles. - [ T t ] - # Top: A Dominant Male or female person - the person in charge/control (also Dom, Domme) # TPE: Total Power Exchange Term for an extreme form of a 24/7 D/s relationship. # TT (Tit Toture): Intense breast stimulation (for example with needles, clamps, tight bondage etc.) # Toilet slave: Someone who has a fetish for serving the Dominant's toilet habits or who has a fetish for being ordered to clean or worship toilets. May also refer to someone who wishes to roleplay as a toilet. # Trainer: A trainer is one who teaches the sub/slave new tricks - don't mix this up with the term Master/Mistress # Transvestite: also known as TV or cross-dresser, and sometimes abbreviated to "X-dresser" in writing. Someone (usually male), who finds emotional and/or erotic gratification wearing opposite- sex clothing. Many, but not all, transvestites are aroused by the clothes and shoes themselves. It is estimated that roughly 2-3% of all men cross-dress. The vast majority of transvestites are heterosexual males. "Drag queens" are gay men who cross- dress to seduce other men and "female impersonators" are cabaret performers. With rare exceptions, neither drag queens nor female impersonators are aroused by the clothes themselves. # Transsexual: Also known as TS. Someone who believes s/he was born in the wrong-sex body, and often seeks to make physical changes . It is estimated the one out of every 30,000 men and one out of every 100,000 women are transsexual. A "pre-op transsexual" is someone who has taken some steps towards change--hormone therapy, breast implants (for male-to-female) or removal (for female-to-male), electrolysis, plastic surgery--but has not yet had "sexual reassignment surgery" (the medical procedures which alter genitalia). A "post-op transsexual" is someone who has completed the process by undergoing surgery to change her or his sex and, from then on, lives as a full-fledged member of the opposite sex. Some transsexuals do not want sexual reassignment surgery and instead opt to live as hermaphrodites, with the secondary characteristics of both sexes. The slang--but not necessarily flattering--terms for male-to-female hermaphrodites are "chicks with dicks" and "she-males." # Troller: One Who Plays At BDsM, Online Noted To Have Several submissives/Masters At Once. Also known As "Online Predators". Those Who Carry No Honour Are Who Are Not Serious Into The Lifestyle, But Lie And Cheat For The Purpose Of Cyber/Phone/Cam Sex. - [ V v ] - # Vanilla: Often used for plain standard sex - non BDsM sex # Verbal Abuse: Also known as "VA," this refers to the cruel or mocking insults and threats that a sadistic Top will shower on an emotionally masochistic bottom to push him or her further into sub-space. It is the linguistic and emotional (as opposed to physical) version of pain-play. # Violet Wand: An electric device usually in form of a glass cylinder which uses the effect of high frequent electric charges generated by a tesla device to apply intense stimulation. # V/L or V/T: Virtual life or virtual time Often used to describe online life in opposite to r/l (real life) - [ W w ] - # Watersport: A humiliation technique where the dominant urinates on the submissive (see Golden Shower / GS) # Waxing, Wax Play: A technique where the Dominant brings hot wax on the submissive's skin # Whip: Usually made of leather with a medium size handle and long braided leather strings. - [ Z z ] - # Zoophelia: A person who has a profound emotional and/or physical attraction to animals. This attraction is manifested in many ways, including sexual contact with animals.
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