tat's blog: "basic ramblings"

red roses dead roses petals on the ground tears fall as i call mercy left unfound

I wonder where you are tonight Silently screaming out your name If I ever leave here will you find me even if you could I sit here questioning the truth of all I knew Was it really just a dream Did you save me from the insane world that surrounded me or did you only drag me further in You promised me everything but lately Im tired of waiting on fate Where are you now

I saw someone drowning today and I just walked by. I had too much to do to concern myself with problems that dont concern me. Besides someone else will help them. Last week they walked on by as I was going under. Society today teaches us to look away when we see someone in pain or need. No one will care about you so why should you care about anyone else? Maybe though we need to. Maybe just maybe by reaching out and helping someone we will actually be helping ourselves.

wandering aimlessly toward some goal i dont even know. wanting peace , wanting security, desiring something i cant control. knowing nothing but pain and loss . grieving for everything that used to make sense.hope,a glimpse of a feeling that stays forever out of my reach.death , a dream a longing .

Suddenly i realised , i dont belong in this world; i dont think that i ever did. why should i try to be someone i could never be why do they think that i should put myself into some mold that they think that i should fit into. I've never felt comfortable living among the masses. I've never understood the standard conversations that have asssaulted me daily. what does it matter is someone asks " how you are ?" they never really want to know... just the accepted response " fine" why should i care what a bunch of posers think, and do they really think at all anyway. Mindless idiots surround me , and i have to play the dumb one...

Look me in the eyes , and see my pain . Look me in the eyes , and feel my shame. I cant believe I never thought i'd lose you this way, so look me in the eyes ,before you walk away. I've lived my life trying to please you, not knowing that I would never succeed. why cant you look me in the eye. look me in the eyes, and see my pain. look me in the eyes, and feel my shame.