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Frustrated

You ever get the feeling that nothing that you do matters? Well, don't. Just don't. If such a thing were true, nothing'd get done and you wouldn't be alive to live your life's story. Yeah, it's true- no one gives a fuck about anybody else but themselves anymore. Shit, in my day- we knew our neighbors, helped'em out if they needed it, took food over if someone was ill or in the hospital or dead. We didn't whore/horndog around for out next dick or piece of pussy. Kids got their mouthes smacked if they popped off the first shit-laden thought that popped into their heads, out of their mouthes, or got their asses whipped when they stepped out of line. And if you were a robber or a mugger, you got your ass shot dead- no questions asked. Hardly anyone, and I mean ANYONE does these things anymore. It was unheard of, of kids bringing guns to school to fucking blow people away, or to shopping malls, etc. People in general are fucked up. Maybe it's all the chemicals in our preprocessed food, or laundry soap, or bath soaps- who the fuck knows? I don't. I've fucked my own life up at times, so I can't say for sure. But I can say this, I don't give a fuck about much anymore. I don't care to fuck around, drink, get high or blitzed (or whatever the fuck you call it now), or even be touched (yeah, that'll get you a broken wrist or at worst- shot). I just don't care anymore, and it has nothing to do with Christmas, etc. It just has to do with people being fucking so selfish, even their assholes covet the shit that comes out of them. I see whores online, on the streets, etc. Seems if you got tits, a pussy- you've got a money makier. I just don't get it anymore. Whatever happened to just being happy with someone? Enjoying their company? Doing things together without the pretense that "we're gonna fuck after this"- anymore? Why do you think I changed my name to Davey Jones? Selected such an avatar? At least he loves someone, Someone he can't touch, can't hold in his arms, can't kiss, can't enjoy sunrise or sunset or a moon filled night with stars- but he loves nonetheless. He believes, that's what's important. I believe in someone, but since we're human and ( I hate to say this because it makes me want to vomit ) have "human needs," that no one can be trusted. Human needs? Is that what we're call it now? "Human needs" instead of "I want to fuck as many as I can and as many times as I can? Yeah, like I want some other man's sloppy seconds. Some other man's whore. Or some other man's interracial whore. I know I am not worthy of love, worthy of affection, worthy of compassion. I know what sins I've done, how many people have been hurt by me and my stupidity, mistakes I've made. Oh hell, I know I am NOT perfect. And I confess that openly. No wonder I feel like a mythical person. I simply do not exist to others unless I'm spending money on them, fucking them, or otherwise paying attention to THEM. So, yeah, it's a bit frustrating.
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