I a wahy i dontlike to talk about this or not even to think about that But sometimes i feel that i will explode or go crazy again . _The last week was a nightmare , i didnt sleep at all and the pain was to grreat , the lever ghot twice his size and it was like a rock inside my body Sometimes i whist to takeit out and finish whit all this shit I allmoust call a friend again to ask him if he can ghet me some cocaine to sleep for a few hours . I did that bafore but i dont want to ghet use to that shit . My medication it dosent help anymore my body start to ghet use to that and hawe no efect I dont know what to do anymore i try allmoust everyting posibile in this word and is not helping me ( only for a short period ) But i will do like i did untill now fight and control this fucking pain Sorry if my spelling sucks but right now i am so tired and so fuckt up that i bearly see and heare i am like in a thick fog FUCK !!!